Christmas Crazy

Merry Christmas from the Howards and Rickards! This is where we appear to be normal.

After about 100 attempts at getting a good photo, I decided we needed to have some fun. Below is the first result and I absolutely LOVE it.

What's my favorite part? I'm so glad you asked. Without question it is my mom's hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her get crazy and throw them up at the last second. Ahhh...so funny.

After a little encouragement to those who didn't participate the first time, we made our second attempt.

Who knew there was so much fish-lip talent in my family? My favorite part of this photo is Annie. Everything about her really, but mostly the power fist. It's as if she's saying, "Too cool! Very cool!" (Think Cory Feldman in Stand By Me)

I like us.

Welcome Home Champ!

Imagine you've just arrived back in Seattle after spending the better part of a week in Arizona with your family. Your plane lands thirty minutes early so as you wait at baggage claim you're in no hurry because your ride is still on the way. You pass the time with a little people watching and smile to yourself at the little girl in pink sweatpants who is also rocking pink cowboy boots. You send a few text messages and as you close your phone and store it away, you look up to see a dear friend standing across the baggage conveyor belt.

Now this is surprising all on its own considering she wasn't supposed to be picking you up. And since when do people come into the airport to meet you anymore? (Hint: They don't.) But what made it even more surprising was that she was holding a bouquet of flowers and also a giant poster.

Surprising. And embarrassing.

The sign said "Welcome Home Champ!" and was plastered with photos of the ultimate* dreamboat: Tim Riggins.

The people around you must have thought you were crazy because you were laughing out loud and saying things like, "Shut. Up." and "Seriously?" to what appeared to be no one. She made her way through the crowd and surely they put two and two together during your photo shoot.

And lucky you because your ever so thoughtful friend even offered to carry your bag so that YOU could carry the flowers and sign around the airport. All in all, it was the best welcome home you've ever received.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!

*Ryan Reynolds might be the true ultimate dreamboat, but we'll just go with it.

Conversation of the Day

Me: Dad, did you just play that game through the prayer?
Dad: I was already in the middle of it.
...
Dad: Lives are at stake.

Confession #3654

I've only left this house twice since I arrived last Wednesday (But I've surprised even myself by showering daily. Three cheers for hygiene!). That's not the confession. I'm hoping that maybe it provides - not quite an excuse - but some sort of context for what I'm about to tell you.

Confession: Today I read a Jack Weyland book.

Yes, the same Jack Weyland who authored books you read when you were 14 years old. Or maybe you didn't...but I did. And I don't know how or why it happened today, but it did.

This is how it went down:

The book was titled Brianna, My Brother, and the Blog and it was horrible. I honestly think I could have written something better...and you're reading this blog so that should tell you something about my lack of writing skills. But of course I read the whole thing because 1) you can't just stop a book once you start 2) he told me outright in the first chapter that the baseball glove would prove significant later on so clearly I had to stay tuned and 3) I was curious to see if, when I thought it couldn't, it really could get any worse.

So in case you too were wondering if the books you read as a teenager were really as good as you remembered, the answer is not likely.

Elf

Today I was elfed by a co-worker (as were a few other CW's). I can't figure out how to embed it, but you can check it out here.

A few things:
1. WHY do I find these things so funny? I've never created one myself, but every time I see one I laugh so hard and have to watch it multiple times. I think there was one last year of my brother that made me nearly wet my pants.
2. My head looks JUMBO compared to everyone else. Shocker. Remember how I have a big head complex? This did not help.
3. Make sure to check out my solo at the end where I bust out some sweet moves. I even impressed myself! Being able to detach my head from my body like that also takes great skill.

I've Got You Beat

On Sunday I was chatting with someone about high school and somewhere along the way in this very random conversation, she mentioned that she was most likely wearing a sweater vest in her senior picture.

Now, this may be my 11th grade school photo, but I think I have her beat with the vest I'm rocking. Yup, it's fleece.

Man, I loved that vest.

PS - And I might look orange in this photo, but I'm 99% sure it was not fake. I think this was taken during the tennis season.

Round Two

Two Snuggies in one holiday season? This is almost too much to handle. But unlike Snuggie #1, Snuggie #2 was personalized and bedazzled with love.

It took a bazillion tries to get a picture even that decent and at one point I asked, "How do I look?".

The response I got: "You're wearing a SNUGGIE."

Right.

Happy Saturday!

I thought I'd bring this one back just for funsies.

Thumbs Up Thursday

It may have had a rough start, but Thursday ended up being a pleasant surprise. I came home tonight smiling, which isn't a given these days.

My day started to turn around when I got this beauty as a gift from a publisher.

Pretend, for a moment, that my eyes are open.

A classic blue Snuggie WITH the bonus reading lamp. Don't be jealous. So ridiculous and so awesome at the same time. Nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

The real kicker for the day was the company Christmas party. Yes, the company party ended up being the (very unexpected) highlight of my day. But how could it not be when it was called LAZORKITTEN Christmas Party.

Wondering what a Lazorkitten is? Behold...
Five of these bad boys were plastered around the party area. The one on the right was my favorite.

I don't know if there is a way to make you understand the experience of this party, but I'll try.

• There were Lazorkittens.
• There were two DJ's (not simultaneously).
• There was a fog machine.
• There were laser-ish lights.
• There was a live performance. (It included spandex and some sweet moves.)
• There was a photo booth where I maybe had my picture taken at various points in the evening with at least three of those Lazorkittens + co-workers (some I'd never even spoken with before).
• There was an open bar. Now, you may be wondering how this benefited me since I don't drink. I assure you, it did. There were trainwrecks waiting to happen, my friends.
  
• Finally, there was dancing.

I had a dance party at my office, with my co-workers.

I'm a fan of the dance party in the right situation. Normally I wouldn't consider a dance party with my co-workers the "right situation", but whatever. It usually takes me a while to talk myself into letting loose, but somehow it happened tonight and I just danced my little heart out. I think it helped that by that time everyone was a little tipsy.

Like the Snuggie, the party was so ridiculous and so awesome at the same time.

Flashback: December 2007

Guys, my December 2007 was a keeper.

It doesn't get much better than, Smarney in Laughlin and this conversation with my brother. And since many of us will be traveling by air in the next week, let's just quickly review my air travel Do's and Don'ts for good measure.

It's a good thing I'm writing this stuff down.

On the bus today..

...Cute-Bus-Boy-Who-Reads sat next to me.

He read his book.

I made sure not to fall asleep.

Conversation of the Day: Pork Bomber Part II

I had dinner with friends tonight to celebrate a Seattle bestie who is taking off on an adventure for the next six months. (PS - I'm very excited for her and sad for myself.)


Me: I think I'm going to get the Pork Bomber. No, maybe I want the club.
C: You can't. You're getting the Pork Bomber just because I want to hear you order it.

...A few minutes pass and our waiter comes to take our order...

Waiter: And what will you have?
Me: Uhh...I'll have the Pork Bomber.
Waiter: [Staring blankly while everyone else at the table giggles.] I'm sorry, what would you like?
Me: The Pork Bomber.
Me: And really? You made me say it again?
Waiter: [Laughing a little.] I really didn't hear you the first time.
Me: Sure you didn't.

In the end, the Pork Bomber was the wrong choice. It was less than delicious. And remember when I ate the Pork Bomber for the first time during my first weekend in Seattle?

Caught Red Handed

It's possible that I sleep on the bus to and from work each day. There are times when I try not to and those times almost always end in failure, so why fight it? I don't care that a bus full of people see me passed out in my own happy dream world every day, but it's always a little embarrassing to find that someone I know is/was on the bus.

 

This morning I got caught. By Chats McGee.

 

Chats doesn't normally ride my bus, but after I had nearly slept through my stop, stepped off the bus sleepy-eyed and began walking to my building, I heard him talking behind me.

 

CM: Hey.

S: Oh hey!

CM: I was on your bus this morning.

S: Oh yeah? Well, I was passed out so I wouldn't have noticed.

CM: I know. I saw you. I was worried you were going to sleep through your stop.

 

How funny would it have been if I HAD continued sleeping and woke up to Chats McGee telling me it was time to get off the bus? I would have been so confused.

 

And it would have been funny.

What is this "paper" you speak of?

Someone brought two handouts to one of my afternoon meetings and asked us to take one of each and pass the rest around the table. Sounds simple, right?

Nope. It was as if she had asked the group to fly a rocket ship.

People's minds were blown. No one knew what they were looking at or what to do. One guy was holding a pile in each hand, staring blankly, and said, "I have no idea what I'm looking at right now." To which I, of course, responded with a witty (and/or sarcastic) comment. (All in good fun, friends.)

Moral of the story:
Give us millions of dollars and we'll spend it efficiently. Give us spreadsheets with thousands of numbers and we'll analyze the data and provide insights. But give us a sheet of paper and you can plan on seeing zero results.

Conversation(s) of the Day

Both conversations happened simultaneously (in person and on IM) and I couldn't pick which one I liked more.

 

CW#2: Has anyone else noticed that because it's been so dry you're drinking a TON of water?

Me: Oh, no, no, no. I don't drink water.

CW#1: Stephanie doesn't exactly believe in it.

Me: It's true.

 

 

L: Do you think Brandi will show up at the show tonight?

Me: I don't know…that hadn't crossed my mind. Is she even in town?

L: Don't know. But let's still Secret it.

Me: Deal.

Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings

This is the point where the jokes stop and I talk about my feelings. Sounds fun, no? Today was a total downer. In fact, it was one of my least favorite days in recent history.

Side note: I'm currently watching all of the videos I've ever posted on YouTube for funsies (There are a surprisingly small number and some are more than kind of embarrassing) and the video playing right now is Dashboard Confessional performing Hands Down. If you're not familiar with the song the chorus says, "Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember". Yeah...not so much.

Below is the summary of my day to a co-worker:

unfortunately a freak collision of my personal and professional lives letting me know how much i suck.

But if we're looking on the bright side, bad days help remind me of the people that care about me and are willing to put in a little extra effort to give me the boost I need. A few examples:

1. A friend walking seven blocks through the frigid weather to meet me for lunch so I could chat her ear off, even though I only had 15 minutes free from the office. AND came with a Diet Coke stashed in her purse. She's an absolute gem.

2. A friend saying "I think you are really neat!" (which made me laugh through a few tears) and telling me how much he appreciates me and my friendship.

3. And yet another friend allowing me to dump my brain out on a page, reading it and offering up words of support and encouragement including, "And remember, if you didn't have a kick-ass personality, we wouldn't be friends. Just so you know."

Bad News: I suck at life.
Good News: There are still people that are willing to love me in spite of it.

What do you say we just turn out the lights and try again tomorrow?

Oh The Vampyre

Look, I know I should be listening to Christmas music 24/7 (especially since I'm having a difficult time catching the holiday spirit this year) but sometimes my mood requires something other than Bing Crosby's Silver Bells.

I always forget about this song, but every time I hear it I remember how much I love it. And no, it has nothing to do with Edward or Bella.



PS - Did you see that guy's sweatshirt around the 2:50 mark? So awesome.

PPS - I can't explain why I love it so much. I just do.

The Miz

I never thought I would have two posts dedicated to Tomorrow's Champions, but my sister made a discovery today that could not go unshared. My love and knowledge of trashy reality television run too deep.

Let's take an even closer look at the poster I "get" to look at all day, every day, shall we?
Does anyone recognize the fella on the right?

Yes, my fellow reality TV junkies. That IS Mike from The Real World New York (the next generation).

See, kids..dreams do come true. They did for "The Miz".

Halloween Repeated

I've had one year to come up with a killer ugly sweater for my department's annual ugly sweater contest. I didn't participate last year and I told myself I would come up with something great this year (a la Halloween).

But alas, the party is tomorrow and I have nothing.

I guess there's always next year. You know, the good thing about never reaching your goals is that there's always room for improvement.

Tomorrow's Champions: The Future Starts Now

In addition to my free subscription to People magazine I also randomly get Health magazine (And by randomly I think I mean monthly. It just feels like there is no rhyme or reason.). I used to get US Weekly, but sadly that gravy train ended.

Side note: I was in denial for nearly a month. Every week I would go to my mailbox at work hoping to find the latest issue. Finally, I had to admit that we'd had a good run, but our time together was over.

My co-worker happens to get WWE magazine. I can't imagine what client or campaign she was working on that would have given her reason to buy on that site (resulting in the sales rep giving her a subscription), but it happened.

And WWE magazine has brought our team so much joy.

It all started when flipping through the magazine one day, co-worker #1 found that there was a tear-out poster inside. Think Zac Efron in Tiger Beat...only a wrestler. It was a hidden gem and we knew we had to make use of it.

I thought for a minute and had a stroke of genius. My very by-the-book co-worker (#2) was out of town so we decided to hang the poster in her cube as a fun surprise for when she returned. My favorite part is the tattoo co-worker #3 added on his chest. Brilliant.

CW#2 didn't quite give us the reaction we were looking for (read: no reaction), but you'd better believe that poster is still hanging.

We were lucky enough to receive another issue while co-worker #3 was out of town. When she returned she found this:
That only lasted in her cube for one week.

Then last week CW#1 and CW#2 decided to give me a little gift. It's not actually hanging in my cube, but it's positioned in CW#2's cube so that every time I look up from my computer I can see it.
Here's a closer look...
Those are "Tomorrow's Champions", y'all. Tomorrow's Champions in elbow and knee pads and very small "shorts". There's just so much ridiculousness going on, it's hard to take it all in.

In case you were wondering, "the future starts now".

PEOPLE Got It Wrong

I just spent 15 minutes critiquing People's candidates for 2009's Sexiest Man Alive with two other co-workers.

 

I get a comped copy of the magazine sent to me weekly at the office, as do several other co-workers. After we retrieved our copies from our mailboxes this morning it was only natural that we'd work this review into our day.

 

Johnny Depp was the real winner, but can you guess who I would have cast my vote for?

 

That's right, friends.

 

 Ryan "Dreamboat" Reynolds

You Have a Guest

I don't know what came over me, but I volunteered to be one of eight guest bloggers on my friend Natalie's blog while she spends the week in Buenos Aires and Mexico City.

It was actually a lot of pressure to deliver. If you've read my blog before you know I'm not overly concerned with the quality of content I post here. But I didn't want to tarnish her blog's good name with tales of dropping kids off at the pool and homeless men urinating in milk cartons. I mean, she's legit! People other than her family members comment and she has lurkers revealing themselves left and right.

Again, pressure to deliver.

It was difficult, but I came up with something. And by 'something' I mean 'a novel'. If you're interested, you can find it here.

PS - She's one of my favorite bloggers so you should add yourself to her long list of lurkers.

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It's coming down to the wire on my assigned day of guest blogging - in fact, for you East Coasters it's already Tuesday and I've missed the boat - and I'm feeling the pressure. Who knew blogging on a schedule would be so hard? Lucky for me I rock the West Coast, Seattle to be exact, and still have time. But I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't sprinkle every assignment with a little procrastination. By way of introduction, I'm stephanielynn and am a friend of Nat's from her Utah (post-college) days. We first bonded in the workplace and over many, many baskets of rolls at The Texas. The bonding continues from afar over things like Friday Night Lights, RW/RR Challenges, SYTYCD...you know, the finer things in life.

This morning I was thinking about how habit rules my life without me even realizing it. And I would imagine that I'm not alone. This thought came to me today after I had some laptop trouble at work. Between the hours of 8:30 and 10:00am I received the blue screen of death upwards of seven times always followed by my computer automatically restarting. Not exactly ideal in terms of productivity. After my new IT (best) friend took a look he announced, "I think you might have a virus".

Perfect. My computer caught the swine flu.

Thirty minutes later and I had my very own "loaner laptop" to get me through the day. I had my email. I had the Internet. I should have been set, right?

WRONG.

I may as well have been my 85 year-old grandfather trying to figure this thing out. I had no links saved as favorites. I struggled to remember passwords. There were no contacts auto-populating in my emails. My shortcuts to files were no longer on my desktop. Not to mention the loaner introduced me to the world of Vista.

Oh boy. I was lost.

And this led my mind to wander through all of the habits I've fallen into on a daily basis and marvel at how my life could get so turned upside down by the slightest unbalance in my routine. Like the time a weekly report at work got delayed by ONE day and it felt as though the world would end. What?! You mean I have to analyze this data on THURSDAY? But that's what I do on WEDNESDAY! Can. Not. Compute. System. Crashing. And then my head exploded.

So I've decided to give myself a challenge - feel free to join me. The challenge is this: To simply be more aware. To live consciously instead of just going through the motions. And to possibly throw myself a curve ball every so often.

We'll start off slow. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll buy a different flavor of Vitamin Water. Or I might just sleep on the left side of the bed tonight instead of the right. Or if I'm feeling really crazy, I'll analyze that data on Friday instead of Wednesday.

But let's not get too carried away.

You can find me here: http://thehardestthingandtherightthing.blogspot.com/
(And let's not judge the name of my blog, okay? We'll just let that one slide.)

If you have a spare 31 minutes (and 42 seconds)

Or even if you don't. Just listen.

And while you're at it you could listen to the second one down. And if you like it, maybe even this.

Conversation of the Day

The day isn’t over yet, but this has been my favorite conversation of the day so far. I was listening to an album a friend recommended while IMing my thoughts about it.

Me: Where have I heard Magalenha? SO familiar.
AB: Probably the last time you were in Brazil.
Me: That was the perfect response.

In related news, I was bopping along to that song a bit later, without fully realizing that I was chair dancing (remember how I'm afraid the rhythm will take me over?), when my boss was suddenly behind me tapping on my desk.

Busted.

And awkward.

Nice to See You Again

I've been thinking of some things I want to share with you, Internet. Life's been a bit frantic for the past while, but I've taken notes (literally) as these tidbits have popped into brain.

You're welcome.

+I spent a lot of time in PowerPoint this week. Too much time. As I was trying to make my slides more visually appealing (or "sexify" them as one co-worker called it) I remembered that at one point in my life I wanted to go into graphic design. I'm completely void of creativity so I'm not quite sure why I ever got this idea into my head. The end.

+Dilemma: I hate answering my desk phone when I don't know who is calling (caller ID only gets me so far) but I equally hate having unheard voicemail. They show up in my email inbox and my OCD kicks in. I received four VMs within 20 minutes on Wednesday and my head nearly exploded.

+I worked close to 20 hours in one day earlier this week. A new personal record and one that I wish I hadn't broken. But when I got to thinking about it I thought "Maybe I should consider rocking a few "Power Days" a week and then taking the rest off". And then I realized there are people who do that and they're called doctors.

+On Wednesday all I ate was four bags of chips. FOUR BAGS. Here's how something so ridiculous happened....

Lunch was ordered in for us during one of our three big client presentations, but since I was one of two presenters I couldn't eat during the meeting. After it was over I went to get food and the tuna sandwich was my only option. No big deal. I've been known eat tuna on occasion. But when I got back to my desk I realized that real tuna is different than canned tuna. I tried two bites, saw some weird things, and just couldn't do it. Thus, two bags of chips for lunch.

We ended up working very late that night as well. Around 9pm I went scavenging for food and found two leftover bags of chips in the conference room.

Chips for lunch and dinner. Being and adult is fun.

+Remember when the Internet was called "The Net"? I'm thinking about bringing it back. Tonight I used "surfing The Net" in a sentence.

+I ate Skittles & Diet Coke for dinner one night (are you concerned about my health yet?) and by 8:30 I was feeling kind of sick. I announced, "Guys, I've eaten so much candy I'm to the point where I just want to go brush my teeth." They didn't know what to do with that one. Sometimes I forget that my co-workers know a slightly less spastic version of me.

+A co-worker received a demo CD from an aspiring musician cab driver earlier this week so we played it while we were slaving away one night. I wish I could play it for you right now because it would make your night. Trust me. With lyrics like "I want to go to Australia. Shrimps on the barbie, chicks on the beach." you really can't go wrong.

+This morning I almost missed my bus stop because I was asleep. I don't know what made me think sleeping on the bus was a good idea when I continue to sleep through three alarms in the morning. Especially with headphones in to block out noise and my narcolepsy as a passenger in any vehicle, any time of day.

+Warning: This is a bathroom story. (Side note: I think of SO MANY things to post about while in the bathroom. Be grateful for the restraint I exercise in not posting 98% of them.)

I have a favorite bathroom stall. Is that strange? I don't really think so. But today when I tried to hit up my fave I was met with a kid that was left at the pool. Are you picking up what I'm laying down?

First of all, gross.
Second of all, are we two years old?

Regardless, my first reaction turn around and use another stall. Then I thought, what if I pretend I never saw the kid left at the pool, use another stall and then run into someone as I'm leaving who then tries to use my favorite stall, sees the kid left at the pool and thinks it was me? This was simply a risk I could not take so I sent the kid home.

I guess that's what happens when you care about what other people think of you. And your bathroom etiquette.

+I had a work event this evening and afterward met some friends for dinner a few blocks away. As I was walking to the restaurant I met a homeless man on the street. He told me to have a good evening and I smiled at him. He then said, "Oh! I got the dimples. Pretty dimples." Why is it that I can't manage to get a compliment from anyone other than old men on the bus or homeless men on the street?

+Tomorrow is Friday. I get to see Brandi Carlile for free. I can sleep in on Saturday. Next week is a three day week. All is well.

Glen, I'll see you soon.

PS - How awesome would that be to be waiting in line for a show and have the performer come out into the street and play for you?

Answer: Super awesome.

Ever the Optimist

AS: "Ahhh...I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel!"
Me: "I'll believe it when I see it tomorrow. My dreams have already been shattered once this week."


But can you blame me? It's nearly Midnight, I'm just finishing up at the office and I've already worked 47 hours this week. It's only Wednesday.

Yup. I'll believe it when I see it.

Here's my heart, O take and seal it

I heard this version of the song today on a TV show* and fell in love. Immediately.



*Just when I thought FNL couldn't get any better. It did.

Conversation of the Day

Chats McGee resurfaced this evening!

Chats McGee: Dude, are you at work?
Me: Sure am.
CM: Nice, that's bad ass.
Me: I wasn't considering myself very bad ass tonight, but now I will!
CM: You kidding? That's money, I'm this close to getting dressed and coming into work. That's how bad ass it is.
Me: Well, all the cool kids ARE doing it.
CM: I KNOW, which is why I feel conflicted for not being there, cause I "thought" I was one of the cool kids. Going to go contemplate. Okay, get back to work, otherwise you'll lose your street cred.
CM: (really high right now)
CM: (your street cred I mean, not me)
Me: Thanks for clarifying...I was curious, but I’m too "busy" working to contemplate your drug use.

Rehab

I previously mentioned how my cat is into eating things he shouldn't. It started out innocently enough with a few hair ties here and there. Sometimes a drawstring on a hoodie. And maybe yesterday when I went to put on my Chucks I could only lace them through half of the holes and then tie on a gnawed off piece of shoelace to another piece so it was long enough to tie.

Those things are kind of understandable. Cats play with strings and all of those things are string-like. Do most cats full-on EAT the strings they play with? Probably not. But we already knew that Max was "special" in so many ways. (Do I need to remind you that he CHEWS GUM?)

Tonight things got out of hand.

Exhibit A:That's Lindsay and that's her half-eaten shirt. I think he's addicted to cotton.

Anyone know of a good kitty rehab?

Confession.

I just listened to John Mayer’s new CD on Rhapsody.

But rest assured, I didn’t enjoy it.

Miracles Do Exist

Today is my lucky day. I decided to grab some M&Ms from the vending machine, you know, for dinner (don’t judge me) and a miracle happened. Possibly even 1.5 miracles.

I put in my dollar and the screen flashed “$1.00”, acknowledging my offering. As I punched in E8 I held my breath, like I always do, hoping that they wouldn’t get stuck. (Side note: Did I ever post about the time my M&Ms got stuck and I had to coerce a co-worker into helping me shake the vending machine? And as we were hitting it we failed to remember that anyone coming or going on the elevator could see us through the glass. Oopsy daisy.)

But back to today.

I held my breath and watched as the package started slowing down. It was on the verge of being stuck. But I was quick on my feet this time and shook the machine before the package had time to settle in to the stuck position. Miracle 0.5.

After I pulled my delicious dinner from the machine I reached into the coin drop for my change. None to be found. I hit the change return. Nothing. As I started to walk away, the screen caught my eye. It was still lit up with “$1.00”.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

I turned around and walked back to the machine and punched E6, because why not? And lo and behold a package of Peanut M&Ms began to descend. And (there’s more!) I got my 25 cents in change back!

Miracle, I tell you.

I’m saving the miracle package of M&Ms for a rainy day. Or for later this week (read: tomorrow) when I’m working late again and need dinner.

Today's Lesson

This evening Lindsay and I were discussing some of the frustrations we've experienced over the last few days. As the conversation was winding down I let out a sigh of defeat to which she replied, "Life was easier when we didn't have friends".

She has a point.

Nevers

I've been known to frequent Dooce.com. And today she posted a question from her community that asked people what their three "nevers" are in life. I read through some of the responses and a few of them made me laugh out loud.

• Never eat meat from a gas station.
• Never chop up fruits and vegetables in the kitchen while you are naked.
• Never date a guy who shows up to your house in an El Camino. If he can't make a commitment between a car or a truck what hope do you really have?

I actually don't have experience with any of these situations, but I've taken note.

My Repair

For some reason I've felt the need to put this song on repeat today.

Lists: Better Than an Eating Disorder

When my life gets a little crazy, I find that making a good list helps me feel like I have control over something. Some people choose eating disorders to gain control. I choose lists. (That wasn't funny, was it?)

+I'm ridiculously behind on TV. And when I say behind I mean that I just don't watch it. I know, I know...my priorities are completely out of whack. But have no fear, Grey's Anatomy is something there is always time for.

+I have a new bus boyfriend. One day I'll tell him. For now he'll just be known as "Cute Bus Boy Who Reads". Maybe my standards are low, but I'm impressed by a man that reads for fun.

+Halloween. It happened. I was stressed for days about figuring out a costume and where did all the stress get me? Nowhere. Finally Farah and I decided to be zombie-ish things (an hour after the party had started) but after Cara did my eye make-up the plan changed and I decided to go as an olive. AN OLIVE. Oh boy. To make matters worse, I never took off the half-way finished zombie-ish make-up. So not only was I an olive (Really? An olive?!) but I guess in the end I was a zombie olive.

I know I like to embarrass myself here, but don't be expecting me to post any photos of the disaster. Although, there is one on Facebook and I've been debating for two days about whether or not to untag myself...

Moral of the story: Better luck next year.

+I might have to stop eating M&Ms and/or Skittles because my OCD kicks in and I feel like a crazy person. It's as if the earth might explode if I eat two greens and only one orange. Clearly it would be necessary to even it up with another orange. Even numbers are my friend...and yours.

+A month ago I had a brief love affair with Veronica Mars and watched all three seasons in two weeks. People have been telling me for at least two years that I would love it, but I resisted. And I was shown the error of my ways. Logan was a dreamboat. Albeit an awkward dreamboat.

+I've only seen 1.5 episodes this season, but The Biggest Loser still makes me cry.

+My bus takes a new route on the way to work and instead of driving down 2nd Ave, we take 3rd Ave. It's amazing the difference one block can make, because YIKES. The crazies rock Third Avenue bright and early. It's almost enough to make me stop sleeping on the bus. Almost.

+Emily spent a few days in Seattle and I wish she would just move here already. If she did I would never be short on laughter in my life.

+My job has been on the stressful side lately and I'm not the expert at dealing with stress. One might say I'm a novice. Today I let life get to me and had a mid-afternoon breakdown in the bathroom. No crying involved; just some deep breathing and talking to myself. The usual. But after that I decided that I needed some spiritual uplifting and went to Institute. Definitely a good choice, but unfortunately I wasn't able to escape all that I had hoped.

+I got my haircut on Saturday and I think it might be safe to say, for the first time in nearly a year, that it's not too short. Let's see how long this "growing it out" phase lasts.

+My cat eats all kinds of strings. Shoelaces, drawstrings on pants and his all-time favorite is a hair-tie. Twice I have pulled a tank top out of my laundry basked to find that an entire strap had been eaten. It's a problem.

+I might be complaining about my few weeks of stress but lots of fun things have been happening as well. Maybe I'll rock a photo post in the near future. If you're lucky.

Still Bad at Halloween

Last year after Halloween I made a commitment to step up my game in 2009. I believe my exact words were, "I'm committing now to have a brilliant costume in 2009. Check back with me next year and I'll let you know how it goes."

No need to check in after the holiday because I can tell you right now how it's going to go. Let's just say brilliant is not the word I would use to describe my non-existent costume. Why is this such a struggle for me?!

I did have one idea and tonight when I asked a friend how bad this idea was on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the Worst Idea Ever, the response I got was, "Well...". Apparently I scored a 10.

I still have a couple days for genius to strike, but I'm not holding my breath.

This has been in my head since I woke up this morning. Eight and a half hours on repeat in my brain is enough to drive me crazy.

I would like to know who is responsible for even showing me this in the first place.

And why is it a banana?

I Can't Help It

I hate to break this to you, but my niece and nephew are cuter than yours. There, I said it. It feels good to get that out in the open.
William has gained enough weight to have a double chin!

He's just providing a little bit of comfort to his sister.

And Elizabeth rocks one leg out of the blankets like I do. I think we're going to get along just fine.

Inside Out

There was a time a few years ago when I was living out of boxes. I had graduated from BYU the year prior and Tatum, Ranya and I moved from our lovely two bedroom to a four bedroom on the West side of town. (Side Note: Looking back, I have no idea why we moved. Sure, in the new place we each got our own room, but I know for a fact Tatum LOVED sharing a room with me, especially when I made her read her scriptures out loud to me at night. You know, since she was doing it anyway.) I had been commuting 90 miles each day to Salt Lake City and back for six months and right as we were moving I decided that I was tired of the drive and wanted to move to Salt Lake (Insert boy drama in Provo that I wanted to get away from and the opportunity to live with Lindsay, current roommate extraordinaire).

This was an awesome decision to make after just signing a year-long contract.

But I had made the decision and felt like it was the right thing to do so I went through the process of trying to find someone to buy my contract. I was looking for someone to take my place immediately and didn't know when I'd have to pack up and leave, so I just never unpacked to begin with. This brings me back to where I started.

There was a time a few years ago when I was living out of boxes.

And I was getting up early due to a 60+ minute commute and, still being fairly new to the job, I was adhering to an 8:00 or 8:30 start time (as opposed to the 9:15 start time I was rocking when I left). It was early and it was dark and everything was in boxes and for some reason I rarely bothered to turn on any lights while I was getting ready.

One day I ran into my kooky supervisor (She could be the subject of another post all on her own. One quick tidbit: she had a vest and matching socks for nearly every holiday.) and she made a comment about me getting dressed in the dark. I was almost always confused when she tried to make jokes so I gave her a courtesy laugh and said, “Actually, I usually do get dressed in the dark.” To which she replied that she could believe it because my sweater was on inside out.

An embarrassing moment made even worse by the fact that I needed fashion advice from a woman who wore holiday vests. Not as a joke.

Luckily I had arrived early enough that she was one of the few people who had seen me that day, but that didn't really matter because, in true Stephanie style, I told the story that day to anyone who would listen (and even those who weren't listening).

I mean, why keep all the fun to myself?

And now I’m sharing with you. You’re welcome.

Brandi Day

Brandi Carlile's new album, Give Up the Ghost, came out today. You should buy it.

No, seriously. It's insanely good.

There's only one song on it that I'm even tempted to skip (but I don't) and according to Cara all you need is a repeat button and a box of tissues and you're golden.

I was at Easy Street Records picking up a copy tonight after work when I ran into a friend who lives in the neighborhood. She asked me what I was doing, I explained that it was Brandi Day and she said, "Wait, haven't you been listening to a bootlegged copy for the last week?". She was correct, but of course I still needed to have the real deal.

I hopped on iTunes tonight to download Greg Laswell's new EP, Covers, (because Easy Street failed me and didn't have it) and noticed that Brandi's album was in the #1 spot!


Did I mention that I think you should buy it? Because you should.

Little Ones

I think they missed each other.

Declining Performance

I just spent 90 minutes reading MY OWN BLOG. I have no idea why or how this happened, but that's not the point.

The Point: After reading every post from 2009 I felt like I should remind you all that I used to be better at this. Really, I did. September 2008 for example. There are some forgotten gems in there.

Gems, I tell you.

Alzheimer's Memory Walk

A couple weeks ago I participated in an Alzheimer's Memory Walk at Seattle Center. My office formed a team and, even though I didn't know anyone on it, I decided to join.

This is what branching out looks like for me. Be proud.

In the end it turned out that a friend on my client team was also participating, so I didn't have to branch out too much. Baby steps, people.

They sent out this picture to the group today and it makes me laugh. Just a hodge podge of people, not looking very enthused and me front and center. Could I look more out of place?
The event was obviously to raise money for the Alzheimer's Association with each participant doing the fundraising. My attempts were meager, but THANK YOU to everyone that donated. I walked for my grandma and your support really did mean a lot to me.

On the List

One perk of my job is that sometimes I get free stuff. Sometimes they are little things, sometimes big things. And last week, it was cupcakes. Unexpected, (undeserved), delicious cupcakes.

As I was carrying the box back to my desk from reception, I noticed the sticker announcing some improvements.
Does that make you uncomfortable too? Moist is definitely on the The List and my brain couldn't fathom that word getting any worse.

Moisty=Worse.
Moisty-er=THE WORST.

Although, they weren't kidding around. Those cupcakes were "more moisty-er" than ever before.

You've Had A Birthday, Shout Hooray

Two. Seven.

I've Been Tagged

I got a birthday present in the mail a little early this year from my brother and sister-in-law.
Yes, Internet, that is a can of Rob Dyrdek TAG body spray.

Best gift ever.

What's Going On.

+I have a friend returning from two weeks in the wilderness (or a farm in Massachusetts, either way) where she's been without the internet (see what I mean about it being the wilderness?) and I received an email from her today mid-travel that expressed her hope that I had been blogging in her absence. Oopsy-daisy. Maybe this will make up for it.

+I've been OBSESSED with the US Open this year. To the point where I've been watching matches every day, following @usopen on Twitter, TIVOing matches I'm missing, checking the site for updates and even braving the treadmill (as opposed to my bestie the elliptical) so I can rock the personal TV screen and watch while I run.

And maybe I cried when Melanie Oudin won her 2nd AND 3rd matches. I was just so happy for her!

And I wish Nadal would play without a shirt on. Just thinking out loud here....

+I had good Labor Day weekend. Not quite all I had hoped it would be, but still a solid performance. Having two days off of work alone is enough to make it worth it.

+The weekend included making jam and seeing two chick flicks [Time Traveler's Wife and The Proposal]. Please don't judge me for seeing The Proposal three times in the theater. I can't help it if Ryan Reynolds is the DREAMIEST DREAMBOAT THAT EVER LIVED! I can't.

+The weekend also included a Brandi Carlile show. Bonus! This particular show was a fundraiser for the band's foundation, Looking Out, and included a Q&A session which I quite enjoyed.
She also only played fan requests that had been previously sent in. One of which was, Happy, which I've been dying to hear since I saw her perform in in Boise in 2007. I think it's in my BCB Top Three songs.
I know you think it should be getting old by now. I can assure you, it's not.

+I also got to hit up Bumbershoot, thanks to my fantastic roommate who had the ticket hook-up. It rained all weekend, but while I was there the rain held off, which I was super grateful for! I saw The Cave Singers, Lenka and Metric.

+The Cave Singers might be my new obsession. And I maybe developed a bizarre crush on the lead singer (on the left). I mean, he was wearing a hot pink hat, rocking a full beard and a dirty tank top...BIZZARE. CRUSH.
But apparently I can't resist a man with a harmonica.

+Metric exceeded my expectations. Let's just say there was an ample amount of fist-pumping. I've been singing Help I'm Alive non-stop for the past two days.

+Tonight at the gym I was watching the Federer/Soderling match while running and started clapping after a point. I made a mental note to try not to act crazy in public. Let's just save the crazy for at home, okay?

+I stopped by the grocery store tonight and was hit on by the checker, who I'm assuming is 18 years old. Really, Universe? The best you can do for me is 18 year old bag boys?

+I'm participating in the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk on Saturday at Seattle Center. If you'd like to make a donation to support the Alzheimer's Association, you can do so on my personal donation page.

+Really, the event that I've been thinking about most these past few days is the arrival of my niece and nephew. A text message at 4am is just confusing no matter what the message is, but when it announces that the "babies are here" a couple months early, it's even harder to grasp.

They were born at 29 weeks and we've seen the power of prayer working on those tiny ones. And it amazes me how much love I feel for them without having met them.

Elizabeth with her daddy.
William holding his mommy's hand. Try and tell me this isn't the most adorable thing you've ever seen.
Please keep them in your prayers! They're just special little ones and my eyes well up every time I look at pictures of them.

+The adventures continue this weekend with WICKED on Friday. I'm going to try my hardest not to sing every word of every song, but I can't make any promises.

Remember When...

...I had long hair?
Yeah, me too.

Jam Tomorrow, Jam Yesterday

I love weekends in general, but I particularly love four day weekends. Having today off was delightful. I slept in, got an oil change (only 6 months over due), grocery shopped, watched tennis and made jam.

My first, and only other, attempt at jam was a couple years ago in SLC with Lindsay and a girl in our ward. It turned out great, but it was something that seemed too difficult to attempt on my own. A few days ago Lindsay came home proclaiming that Friday was the day for jam.

And so it was.

So we headed to Costco and bought some supplies.
This time around we went with freezer jam, which is apparently the "cake from a box" of the jam world. I'm not above taking shortcuts so it was fine by me.
It only took an hour or two and resulted in jars of jam that look delicious.
I'll be able to tell you how it tastes in 24 hours.

Conversation of the Day

Linds: Well, I'm going to head upstairs.
Me: Why?
Linds: To go do some work while laying in bed without my pants on...
[Silence]
Linds: Too much?

Send it Soaring

First of all, I got a bad haircut last week. When DON'T I get a bad haircut? The end.

Moving on the to real reason for this post: I have a new calling.

I successfully flew under the radar for over a year with the easiest calling in the world, but unfortunately those days are over and I am now also an FHE group leader.

Remember how I don't love FHE? I guess someone felt like I needed to start feeling the love.

I have a list of things I wanted to do this summer. (PS - Summer is pretty much over and I don't know if I've done any of them.) One of the items on the list was flying a kite but I couldn't convince anyone to do it with me. So I took this opportunity of being in charge of FHE to force my group to do it with me. Brilliant, no?

I was singing Let's go fly a kite! to myself all day, but it turns out you need a kite and wind to make it happen. Of which we had neither. Three stores, no kites. So I guess it didn't even matter that there was no wind.

All in all, kind of a huge failure.

But I'm determined to get myself, and possibly my group if I'm feeling ambitious, excited about Monday nights. We'll see how long this determination lasts.

Get's Me Every Time

Last Friday at work we played Win, Lose or Draw for our monthly happy hour. Not to brag or anything, but my group was in charge of this particular HH and it can only be classified as a success. The prize for Best Artist was the jumbo pen you see in the picture below.


I LOVE this pen. I didn't win it, but every time I see it I laugh. For a long time.

So imagine this...

You're in a conference room full of team members reviewing a report over the phone with your client. As you reach your portion of the presentation you begin to speak and out of the corner of your eye you see a co-worker pull out the jumbo pen and begin to take notes with it.

Like it's totally normal.

Everyone else in the room starts to laugh silently and you're left to somehow find a way to 1) avoid laughing and 2) not lose your train of thought and sound like an idiot in front of your client.

It all worked out in the end, but considering the fact that my sister and I can't even get through a dinner prayer without one of us starting to laugh, this was quite an accomplishment.

Conversation of the Day

Me: You want me to listen to The Beach Boys? Who are you, John Stamos?
AB: I wish!

Conversation of the Day

Me: I'm nervous. I feel like I'm going to puke.
Les: But you look FANTASTIC today! So if you do puke, at least you'll look great doing it.
Me: Thanks.
Les: That's what I'm here for.



PS - I didn't puke, pass out or accidentally say something inappropriate today on the panel. However, I did do a lot of talking with my hands and say "um" several hundred times (I wasn't counting, but that sounds about right).

Let the Rhythm Take You Over

I spend a significant amount of time each day listening to music. I have my headphones in before I walk out the door in the morning, on the bus ride to work, most of the day at my desk, on my way to grab lunch, the ride home, at the gym and music is typically on in the background of whatever else I'm doing in the evening.

I can't claim to know anything about music, technically. I don't know what makes it good or bad. I can't produce any combination of sounds that anyone would want to hear. But, I love it anyway. I love how it can pull me out of a funk or push me deeper in. How certain songs automatically call up specific memories. Or the feeling when an entire room full of people are singing along with a performer.

That was a big build-up for me to say this: I worry sometimes that I let the rhythm take me over.

Yeah, you heard me. Bailamos, or something.

Exhibit A: The coffee shop in my building plays a lot of music I enjoy and one afternoon while meeting with a sales rep (PS - That's not weird. We have A LOT of meetings there.) I found myself distracted by the song playing. Pretty soon I was completely ignoring the man talking to me while tapping my feet and was on the verge of mouthing the words when I snapped out of it. Close call.

It's a legitimate concern. I fear that one day I'm going to be at my desk and start singing out loud without realizing it. Like Marcus in About a Boy when he accidentally sings in the middle of class. With his eyes closed.

But hopefully when (not really "if") that day comes the song won't be "Killing Me Softly". Although, when I take it to the bridge in the Fugees version there's really nothing quite like it.

33%

My job gives me the opportunity to work with a lot of different people from a slew of web properties and last week I got an email from one of the publishers that I work particularly closely with. Now, getting an email from them isn't out of the ordinary; I send/receive hundreds of emails on a daily basis. But this particular email was a little out of the ordinary. It's purpose was to ask if my boss and I would be willing to participate in a panel discussion and present the "agency perspective" for this company's internal sales training.

But you see, public speaking and I aren't really friends. I actually make fun of public speaking on the playground and steal its lunch money. Or does public speaking make fun of me on the playground?

Regardless, my first inclination was to delete the email and pretend I had never received it. But then I decided to be an adult....so I let it sit in my inbox for a few hours (or overnight) before responding.

Eventually I responded and said "No problem! Of course I'd be happy to help!".

I didn't mean it.

My boss and I jumped on a call this morning with the guy heading up this training to review the format and some of the questions we'll be asked. During the course of the discussion he casually mentioned that there would be roughly 60 people in attendance and three of us on the panel answering questions.

I CAN'T FLY UNDER THE RADAR WHEN I'M 33% OF THE PANEL.

As soon as we got off the call my phone rang. It was my boss and our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi.
Boss: This is going to put you out of your comfort zone.
Me: Sure is. And I'm freaking out.
Boss: It's going to be fine. How many people are on the team you work with over there?
Me: Five or six.
Boss: See, it's just like them...times 10.
Me: Exactly. TIMES TEN!

And then she gave me a pep talk about how it's going to help me grow, which is all well and good, but doesn't change the fact that I've been on the verge of vomiting for the past two days because I'm so nervous.

Growth opportunities are totally overrated.

Conversation of the Day

Pamela:

So, I've been thinking. You guys need to get another kitten.

Except it will be mine.

But it will live at your house.

What do you think?!?

[Silence.]

Who are you and what have you done with Stephanie?

I don't know what came over me, but I was in a particularly good mood today. Maybe it was just a rebound from the serious funk I found myself in yesterday. Who knows? Either way, I was feeling (and sharing) the love.

I was sitting in the second hour of church, waiting for class to start, when a friend walked in with a new-ish haircut and I said something along the lines of, "Have I told you yet how cute your hair is? Because it is." And over the course of the next five minutes I proceeded to tell Pamela how much I liked her sweater and Cara how adorable her notebook was.

Cara then turned to me and said, "Who are you and what have you done with Stephanie?".

What? A girl can't compliment where a compliment is deserved?

Then in the third hour I spent five minutes flagging another girl down to tell her I liked her bag. Cara then accused me of passing out compliments like "golden tickets". Here's the thing, I meant every one of those compliments. And if I'm thinking them, why not share them?

But then I started thinking about how out of the ordinary my behavior seemed to my friends. FRIENDS. People that I see on a very regular basis and spend significant amounts of time with. If they were so shocked by my friendliness then clearly I'm doing something wrong.

For the record, I don't think I was acting out of the ordinary. Everyone was just looking exceptionally good today.

It's Good to Have Goals

This afternoon I was informed by my cube neighbor that Kate Hudson and A-Rod were shopping at a store downtown. My immediate response? LET'S GO. Her response? Looking at me like I was a moron.
For some reason I then felt the need to explain (as if it would make things better) that it was one of my goals in life to see a celebrity being photographed by the paparazzi. I've been to Sundance and people like me chasing Emily Blunt down the sidewalk (true story) do not count. Just to be clear, I'm not talking in a dangerous, stalking while driving recklessly way, but in a normal way.

You know, normal stalking. No? Fine.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure I racked up a couple more Crazy Points in the eyes of my co-worker today. Meh.

I decided to take this inside scoop to someone who I knew would appreciate it. Lindsay. So I sent her an IM relaying the info. Her immediate response? Why aren't you down there? You could fulfill your dream of seeing the paparazzi!

And that, Internet, is why we are besties.

******************

In other roommate related news, Lindsay is trying to convince me to move to BFE. I mean, it's OUT. THERE.

I thought I had made a good case when I reminded her that I take the bus to work and was positive that there would be no convenient routes. But then she called me (from upstairs) to tell me the exact route number, where it would drop me off and how long it would take, which incidentally is less time than my current commute. Bust.

On the bus today...

...a few things happened.

Possibly the most notable is that I didn't fall asleep on the way to OR from work.
Not even a little bit.
I guess 9 hours of sleep will do that for you. But apparently I didn't learn my lesson because I'll be clocking 6.5 hours at most tonight. Oh well, there's always the bus ride in the morning, right?

I saw Ashley Parker Angel.
Remember him from the band O-Town and his hit show on MTV There & Back? When I say "hit show" I mean "reality show train wreck that was only watched by me, my brother and my sister-in-law".

Yup, it was him. Or someone that looked like him in business casual.

I also saw my future husband. He got on near the mall with a tackle box and finishing rod. Kind of weird, but since learning how to fish was on my list of things to do this summer I figured this could only mean that we were perfect for each other. Plus, he was totally adorable.

But then he got off at a random stop in the middle of the bus route in a non-residential area where I usually only see homeless people get on or off. This of course led me to believe that fishing was not just a hobby, but a way of survival and that I might walk past him one day sleeping on the sidewalk or peeing into an empty milk carton.

But I don't jump to conclusions or anything...

On Repeat

The latest song I can't stop listening to...

I Don't Think I Can Dance

I was a little disappointed with SYTYCD this season. I never had a favorite dancer (unlike last year) and I didn't fall in love with many of the routines. While I was kind of disappointed overall, there were a few gems.

I'm not a dancer. I've never taken a dance class (unless you count that tap class in college, which I don't). I don't know anything about what makes one dance better than another. But every time I watch this routine my eyes well up.


And I can't help but love everything Wade choreographs, especially this one.

Great Lakes State

+If you're flying from Detroit to Seattle you should never hear someone say over the loudspeaker, "And to the right you can see the Grand Canyon". That's a good indicator that you've taken the least efficient route home.

+Worst Airport Ever Award goes to....LAX! I got off the plane and had NO IDEA where to go, even after consulting a map. Twice. And there were no airport employees in sight. I finally had to hunt down a police officer for help. Turns out you have to go outside, hop on a shuttle and go through security again just to change terminals.

+I took over 300 photos on my trip, most of which were of my nephew. He was a little unsure of me at first, but I think I won him over in the end.

+My sister let me borrow all seasons of Two Guys and a Girl. Old school Ryan Reynolds? Still good.
+While roasting hot dogs over the fire (in the driveway...that's just how classy we are) we had a conversation about what condiments were best on hot dogs.
Me: Ketchup-only is the way to go.
Dad: Yeah, if you're in first grade.
...
Mom: You can bet that's going on the blog!

+We celebrated my grandpa's 85th birthday. It was fun to see so many people come out to celebrate with him. He's just such a lovable guy!
+All in all, it was a great vacation.