Oprah Was Right

This weekend was a winner. Not only did I have Friday off and get to see Eric Hutchinson but I also saw the Indigo Girls at the Woodland Park Zoo. Who knew the zoo doubled as a concert venue? The temperature was somewhere in the 90's (it had to be) and was a little muggy so we didn't look pretty with all of the sweating going on, but we sure had a fantastic time!

The show started at 6:00, doors opened at 5:00 and we got in line at 4:00. We were close to the front of the line and were able to sit on little ledge halfway under some trees. I was getting some GREAT people-watching in when I felt a giant rain drop on my foot. No, wait....bird poop. 

A bird pooped on my foot.

I started freaking out and Lindsay started laughing uncontrollably. She refused to help me while frantically digging in her purse. You might assume she was digging for a napkin/tissue/piece of paper/ANYTHING to wipe the poop off of my foot. No, no, she was digging for her camera.

I ended up having to ask the lady next to me for a napkin while Lindsay continued to be of absolutely zero help. 

We made our way inside and, despite being near the front of our line, walked into a field FULL of people. Apparently there were two other entrances that were closer to the "meadow". The birds at those entrances probably didn't crap on people either. Noted for next time. We picked a spot and settled in for another hour of people watching.
You can't really tell from the picture below, but I was melting. I was having flashbacks to every trip to Cedar Point I've ever taken. This was one of those times I wished I wasn't opposed to dressing immodestly.
I half-way slept through/entered a heat induced coma during the opening act and was really ready to get the party started when the Indigo Girls came out. Lindsay and I have been debating for several weeks about whether or not my fave Brandi Carlile would be there. A lot of the signs pointed to yes - Seattle is her hometown, she's back from her overseas tour, she's playing other shows with the Indigo Girls, etc. But since there was a different opening act we just weren't sure. So as we were getting in the car to head to the zoo Linds suggested we "secret" it. You know, like the book "The Secret" that was made wildly popular by Oprah? I guess you just visualize something happening and it does. I don't know if I really believe that, but I love Brandi Carlile so I was willing to try anything. 

Well, chalk one up to Oprah my friends because a few songs into the set I heard the words We're going to bring out our friend Brandi Carlile and I wet my pants right there on the blanket in the meadow.  Ok, not really, but I screamed and clapped and was so excited!

Brandi ended up being on stage with them more than half of the time and I loved every minute of it (she's the one on the left). I found myself wishing the Indigo Girls would head off stage and leave Brandi and the boys out there to do their thing. But I guess I'll have to wait for the two shows coming up in August. 

Minus the part where I got pooped on, it was a perfect day.

HutchHeads

Last night Lindsay and I made our way to Capitol Hill to see Eric Hutchinson. I hadn't been to a show in a while so I was pretty excited. Aside from it being nearly 120 degrees in the venue, it was great.

Here we are before things started.

We got to meet Eric afterwards and you can see how sweaty we all are.

Below is a video of one of my favorite songs Ok, It's Alright With Me. I accidentally cut it off in the middle so the second half is below as well.

Part II

This is a clip of another goodie, Oh!.

All in all it was a great time. Eric was funny, he sounded great live, I got a t-shirt....I can't think of a better way to spend a Friday night.

He said, "No, no no".

What do Amy Winehouse and Max have in common? They both need to go to rehab.

I think it's possible that Orbit Sweet Mint gum is laced with catnip. Or maybe it has something to do with catnip being a "perennial herb belonging to the mint family Labiatae" (At least according to About.com). All I know is that Max is addicted to it.

Doesn't he look all sweet and innocent nestled up to my leg while I blog? Don't be fooled. He's not innocent. He's an addict.

I bought another pack of gum today to replace the one destroyed in the first incident. As Lindsay and I were leaving for a concert tonight (more to come on that) I put the pack of gum in my purse, left the purse in it's usual resting place next to my bed and jokingly said to Max, "Don't chew any gum while I'm gone!". 

This is what I found when I got home.
 Please note the chewed up piece of gum in the lower right corner. 

Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!

Maybe he knows that licking his butt classifies his mouth as dirty and he just wants to 'clean it up with Orbit!' Or maybe I need to send him to the Cirque Lodge for a 30 day treatment program.

Time

I don't have anything in particular to blog about. Oh sure, I could come up with something about this week's SYTYCD or how the manager of the gym essentially asked if Lindsay and I were "partners" or "just friends". But I really just wanted to note the time. 

It's 12:41. In the afternoon. On a Friday. 

I have a day off for no reason and I love it! Happy Friday, Internet!

May I Have the Envelope Please?

I've had doubts that all of my efforts to eat healthier (I can't say healthy...just healthier) and to put my time in at the gym have been making a difference. I don't really feel any different - just more hungry and tired and sore. So I forced my trainer to do a weigh-in tonight since it's been four full weeks. And guess what he told me? 

I've lost 5 lbs!

Now, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed that it wasn't more. But I was also so excited because I had prepared for the worst. And 5 lbs is 5 lbs. It's better than nothing and certainly better than gaining. 

It's good to see a little hard work pay off.

Not What I Expected To Wake Up To

Have I ever mentioned that my cat is part human? I believe I may have in post #1. The events of last night are further proof.

I woke up in the middle of the night to a rustling sound. I looked at the clock - 1am - and realized the noise was coming from next to my bed. I glanced over the edge tentatively, worried what I might find (I've had bad experiences with mice. Refer to October 2006 posts.) and saw what appeared to be Max eating paper. I flipped on the light to find that he had...

1. Gotten into my purse

2. Removed ONLY a pack of Orbitz gum from said purse

3. Opened the package

4. Torn out every single piece of gum

5. Proceeded to suck on/chew it all.

 I caught my cat chewing gum at 1 am. 

Try and tell me he's not part human. 

Update: Last night (in the middle of the night) I caught him digging in the trash can to find the gum. Apparently Orbitz Sweet Mint is kitty crack.

Crashing Down

Internet, I'm afraid I have some bad news. It's about the Diet Coke Pyramid. 

Remember how I was worried for the day I would bump my desk and it all would come crashing down? Well, two Fridays ago I was minding my own business and crunching some numbers when I thoughtlessly tossed my calculator aside. 

And by aside I mean right into the DCP. 

By this time we were three cans into the third tier of the pyramid and although no cans fell, there was some unseen damage done to the foundation. Later that day, without warning, it all came crashing down. It was totally embarrassing. I picked all the cans up, took one last picture and then threw them all into the recycling bin. 

Day 3

Somewhere around 2 1/2 weeks.

The last day. Maybe 3 1/2 weeks?

I counted roughly 42 cans, which is apparently enough to fill an entire recycling box.

I'm still getting questions about what happened to the DCP from people that don't sit near enough to have heard the collapse. Apparently they looked forward to seeing the progress when they walked by.

RIP DCP.

I Know You're Only Trying to Help

I have mixed feelings about the 'People You May Know' feature on Facebook. Sure, I can see how it could be helpful in connecting with people. But is there a box somewhere I can check that says, Yeah. I do know her. That doesn't mean I want to be associated with her or see her mug pop up every time I login.? 

No? Well, there should be. There are some people I'd like to opt out of knowing.

It's Cool. I'm Ok.

Last night after getting to the gym I went to hop on the elliptical for my warm up. I was in a hurry because I got there late and my hands were full with keys, gym pass and iPod and I was trying to untangle my headphones. I was still working out the headphone mess when I stepped on the machine, but the step was up high (think of a pedal on a bike) and it swung down as I stepped on it. Unfortunately, I had no hands free to steady myself and quickly lost my balance. 

Just picture me with one foot on the elliptical, the other foot in the air somewhere, the step rocking back and forth while my arms flailed wildly as I tried not to drop anything but also to tried to find a way to catch myself. Oh, and then add me saying something like, "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa." Pretty awesome, right?

Luckily I didn't actually fall. But the guy next to me chuckled and asked if I was Ok. I said I was and then casually looked around to see who else had noticed. It appeared that no one had but, let's be honest, gyms have a lot of mirrors and even though I was on the back row there were plenty of people checking themselves out in those mirrors that couldn't have missed the raucous I caused. 

I've always wondered how people fall off of machines at the gym. Now I know.

I'm an Adult

Before one of my meetings started this morning the group was talking about the 17 high school girls that made a pact to get pregnant. Chats McGee seemed to be the only one who hadn't heard about it and he asked, How do you all know about this?. Just as I was about to reply, I read it on Perez, everyone else said they heard about it on the Today Show this morning.

Right. The Today Show. Uhh...that's where I heard it too.

Note to self: Adults get their news from the Today Show not from a blog written by a guy with purple (or blue or pink) hair who calls himself the Queen of All Media.

Yikes.

I'm still watching last night's SYTYCD and Nigel just grabbed his crotch. 

I might throw up my apple.

Emotions Running High

I haven't been feeling well this week. My throat has been sore and I'm congested, blah, blah, blah. I had a 9 am meeting this morning and when my boss walked in and sat next to me she said, I smell cough drops. I said, Umm...that's me. Sorry. And then everyone sitting around me immediately scooted away. Hmmm.

Needless to say, I wasn't feeling up for my training session at the gym tonight. But I went. And I actually had a fairly decent workout. While I was doing my cardio I watched Inside Edition (I think) on mute. They did a story on a high school cross country runner who broke her leg in two places just shy of the finish line. She fell to the ground, tried to get up, fell again and then CRAWLED to the finish line. I cried. Tears on my cheeks while listening to 50 Cent on the elliptical. I don't know what happened to me.

I also got teary-eyed tonight when watching (last night's) So You Think You Can Dance and the judges were raving about Katee and Joshua's performance. I was SO impressed with Joshua! He was amazing.

I think I need more sleep.

On the Bus Today...

...I was kind of in a zone, staring at the ground, wishing my throat didn't hurt, when I thought to myself, I know this feeling. The feeling of wanting to gouge out your eyes and tear off your ears and yell at someone to eat a sandwich. It was then that I realized I had been listening to a voice that sounded oddly like Bag-O-Bones drone on for nearly 15 minutes. And I wanted to die.

(Maybe I'll use this example next time they ask me about a time I thought I was going to die at FHE.)

If you don't know who Bag-O-Bones is, you're not missing much. She's an ex-coworker that is quite literally a bag of bones. She's always wrapped in a blanket at her desk, likes to talk about how she can't gain weight and how "fat America" is ruining her wardrobe because even kid's sizes are too big. But that's not the bad part - be sickly skinny if you want. It's her voice. It's the kind of voice that makes you want to...well, gouge out your eyes and tear off your ears. And she's always telling stories about her family, which I know doesn't sound annoying, but it is. I have witnesses to back me up. There was a stretch of a few months where she sat on the other side of the cubicle wall and I nearly died. Or maybe she did. 

Anyway, Bag-O-Bones II was on the bus today and she talked the entire 30 minute bus ride saying things like, "Have you ever realized that talking about weather is universal? It's the one thing that, no matter where you are, everyone has in common." And the lady next to her was enjoying it! Engaging in the conversation even!

As I was stepping off the bus I got a text from my brother that said, "What's funny is how two insane people on the bus, who individually would talk to you and make you feel uncomfortable, can talk to each other like they are best friends about whatever crazy thing comes to mind."

Apparently we were having the same experience at the same time. It's somehow comforting to know that bus crazies are universal. 

22's Son

Jill said it was a mean trick to post my hair clippings and not a picture of my hair. She's right. I just haven't been able to get it to look right and I don't like the way it looks in this picture, but you get the idea.

I also wanted to draw your attention to my shirt. That's right, it says "Do Work!" with a picture of Big Black's face and his signature. Annie sent it to me last week and I love it.

To Do's Done.

I was able to cross several items off my To Do list today. Some of them were "Need to do" and some were "Want to do". 

I'd put both of these in the need category.

Shame.

So here I am at 11:45 on a Saturday morning, still in bed with my cat sleeping under the covers next to me, my laptop in front of me and the latest issue of US Weekly on my lap. (Pretty much perfect, right?) I just finish reading an "article" about the strained relationship between LC and Audrina from The Hills and I look down at the bottom of the page and see an ad. An ad for a television show that I thought was over forever.

The Two Coreys.

I'm ashamed to say that I got so excited I almost ran downstairs to set the TIVO immediately. Instead I blogged about it immediately. (I mean, my computer was right here and the TV was all the way downstairs.)

It's possibly one of the worst shows on television and I love it. Sunday nights. A&E. 10/9C. Watch it.

PS - Can you believe Cory Haim dated Victoria Beckham?  Cory Haim...David Beckham...Cory...David...Not even a contest.

On the Bus Today...

...the breastfeeding woman was back and the guy I was sitting next to had the worst breath ever. 

I Don't Play Softball

Another session with my trainer down. I wish I had more interesting things to blog about, but I just don't. So, another post about the gym it is!

Jafar is growing on me. He still doesn't count and the other night I did 25 reps of something instead of 15 because he was too busy texting, but it doesn't bother me as much. Although, he still says whatever comes to his mind...

Here are a few examples from tonight.

Example #1

J: Did you play softball when you were younger?

M: No, why?

J: You just look like a softball player.

M: What does that mean? [Thinking to myself - Is he trying to tell me I look like a lesbian?]

J: You just have the face. Kind of mean. I can just picture you whipping that ball.

M: Huh.

Example #2

J: Have your arms always been this way?

M: What way?

J: Like...weak.

Example #3

J: I can just see you getting in a fight and someone having to pull you off of the other person.

M: Seriously? Why do you think I'm so mean? I'm actually really shy.

J: Now, I can see the sweet and innocent side too, but it seems like if someone makes you mad they'd better watch out.

Apparently I look like I want to kill someone at the gym. Maybe I just really hate lunges. 

Guess What?

I found a Subway near my building and guess what? They fold the meat.

We're Here to Pump {clap} You Up.

I need some advice. As my faithful readers know, I recently purchased an iPod for the gym. I've loaded about 106 songs on it, but I just don't feel like I have the cream of the crop when it comes to 'pump you up' songs. And believe me, I need something other than the Real World Hollywood to keep me going.

Send me your suggestions!

A time I thought I was going to die? Does right now count?

Still attempting to get more involved, I went to FHE tonight. It was awful. Literally the worst FHE I've ever been to in my life.

We got there on time hoping to leave 30 minutes later to go to the gym. Things did not go as planned.

1. We waited 15 minutes for more people to show up even though the room was packed.

2. While waiting for more people to show up we listened to our male group leader tell stories about him and his roommate from college (who was visiting). The stories were mind-numbingly dull.

3. Finally we got started and went around the room to introduce ourselves. We couldn't just say our names; that would have been too normal. We had to say our names, birthday and describe a time we thought we were going to die. Uplifting, no?

4. After another 15 minutes of listening to depressing stories of us almost dying (I almost killed all of my siblings after hitting black ice in Nebraska, one girl got mugged, one guy almost drowned in a river, etc.) our group leader fired up his Wii to show us pictures of his recent trip to Jerusalem. Yes, that really happened.

5. He continued to give us a history lesson of things that weren't exactly true ("We don't really know, but we think that this is the place where...") while showing us picture after picture of the same building.

6. When we were blessed with the Wii losing it's connection to the internet we seized the opportunity to leave. Want to know what the activity was going to be after the slideshow/fake history lesson?

7. Pie throwing. Filling a tin with shaving cream to make a "pie" and throwing it at someone's face while taking pictures. I'm sad I missed it.

This was not a good time to go to FHE for the first time in at least a year.

I Kid You Not

Don't think less of me if I try to go to their concert when it comes through Seattle in November.

Not that I would know...

I'm making an effort (and sometimes just thinking about making an effort). I attended the Second Sunday Smorgasbord tonight. Sidenote: Why do they have to come up with a cheesy names for church activities - Munch & Mingle, Linger Longer, etc.? It just makes me want to go even less. Anyway, I went and it wasn't awful. 

Although, I did get stuck talking to the absolute strangest guy in the room. Why does that always happen to me? He's a gardener who has a degree in history so he's thinking about teaching but who also wants to be a librarian and will most likely starts his master's for that and decide he likes his gardening job and stick with that. Yeah, try 15 minutes of that. Lindsay abandoned me for chocolate cake and normal people so I gave her a nice elbow jab to the side. She helped save me.

After I escaped the strange one I joined the conversation at the other end of the table that somehow made its way to cup stacking.  I had no idea what it was and that it was so popular.

While we were discussing what it was (and receiving a demonstration) I asked Do they use those red party cups? [Blank stares] You know, the ones everyone drinks beer out of at parties? [More blank stares/Lindsay giggling] Not that I would know or anything...

And this is why I don't mingle.

Making Progress

Behold the progress of the DC pyramid. 
It's starting to attract a lot more attention from passers-by. For the life of me I can't understand why people think making a pyramid of Diet Coke cans at your place of business is weird. Oh, right - because IT IS weird.

Since this picture was taken (last Thursday) we have now started the second level. I'm worried for the day when I bump into my desk and it all comes crashing down. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Practically Giving Them Away

I have a bad habit of not thinking about the value of things. To me if something costs $5 then it's "practically free" and I don't feel guilty buying it. The problem is that buying several things at $5 can quickly add up. But I don't need to tell you that - you're not the crazy one that pretends things are free when they're not.

Lately the practically free threshold has increased and is now sitting around $10-$15. But in the case of tonight's purchase it was around $50. I bought an iPod Shuffle.
Isn't it super cute? I already have an iPod (that's not full) so there was really no need to get another one, but I used Lindsay's shuffle at the gym the other night and it was so great. I just clipped it on my shirt and started running. 

PLUS, they're only $50. Practically free, right?

Either way, I'm feeling great about my latest purchase.

Listy-Loo

I always think of things I want to blog about, but the topics typically don't have enough substance to warrant an entire post. As a result*, these brilliant topics go by the wayside. Lost to the blogging world forever. It's a shame, really. 

In the end I resort to posting lists of random thoughts and situations. Enjoy.

+*My new job requires a lot more "analysis" and "interpretation of data", which I put in quotes because it could also be called "making educated guesses", but when I do my write-ups I find myself using the phrase as a result A LOT.  As a result, I have incorporated it into every day life by default.

+My friend Brandi is preggo and due in July. She is one of those adorable pregnant women who only get big in the belly and everything else stays exactly the same. I will not be one of those women.

+On the bus I find myself counting things I see on the street to pass the time. How many people are talking on cell phones? How many people are smoking? How many people are listening to iPods? How many people are picking their noses in their cars because they think no one can see them?

+After my first session with my permanent trainer I could not straighten my arms for 5 days. Not exaggerating. It almost brought me to tears at times. I felt like I had broken both of my elbows and they had been in casts for months and I was just now free to start straightening them again. Now, I have never actually broken my elbows...so I guess that's what I imagine it would feel like.

+I couldn't remember my trainer's name so I started calling him Jafar.  Turns out his name is Javon. He shaves his eyebrows off.

+Baby shoes are ADORABLE and I can't resist them. They're useless since it's nearly impossible for babies to keep them on, but I still love them. I almost left the Rack a few weeks ago with shoes to mail to every friend I knew with a child. I was saying things like, These would be so cute on Gavin, wouldn't they? while Lindsay looked at me like I was crazy.  In the end I settled on a pair of Pumas for my (soon to arrive) nephew.

+I'm back on the edamame train. Remember when it was in my "Current Addictions" section forever? It's back, baby!

+I'm starting out slowly with changing my diet. Too much too fast will make me frustrated and I'll end up quitting. Just getting back to the gym is hard enough. So I've decided to start by bringing my lunch to work and eliminating fast food. I haven't had a french fry in over a week; which may not sound like a very long time to you. Sadly, it's an accomplishment for me.

+I love music. On Memorial Day I went to Easy Street Records and left with a couple new CDs. It makes me happy. I'm loving Duffy's Syrup & Honey and Delayed Devotion and Jason Mraz's Details in the Fabric. Check 'em out.

+I find the bus stop a little awkward. We're strangers, yet we see each other every day. For some reason we all stare down the street to that exact spot where we know we'll see the bus rounding the corner. As if staring at that spot will make it come faster or if we don't watch for it we'll somehow miss it barreling past us.

+Confession: I've started cutting through buildings on the way to my afternoon bus stop just so I can take the escalators and avoid walking up the hills. This is why I'm chubby.

+America's Funniest Videos was on at the gym tonight. WHY is that show still on? And WHY are they still showing videos from 1992?

+Last Monday Lindsay and I drove all the way to FHE only to drive past the house and go to the gym. I look at it as taking baby steps. I mean, driving to the house is a step beyond not trying to go at all. Maybe next week I'll actually go inside.

+I think this list is long enough. Don't you?

"Why'd you drop the ball, Bryce!?"

An old D-Mark friend, Bryce, is in Seattle for a search marketing conference so Lindsay and I gave him an abbreviated tour of Seattle tonight. I hadn't see him since the days of watching 24 at his house with BJones - and since then BJones has started and finished grad school at Cornell - so it's been a while.

We ate some yummy BBQ and then made our way to Ballard for dessert at the Cupcake Royale where, at one point, Bryce ate frosting off of the table. It's THAT good. Seattle did not disappoint and was able to provide the stereotypical experience: an entire day of pouring rain and a trip to the coffee shop.
Linds and I spent most of the evening giving the Seattle sales pitch - and for an outdoorsy person like Bryce, it's a pretty compelling story. I think we almost had him sold. We reminisced about D-Mark, Lindsay made inappropriate comments, we laughed - it was a lot of fun and was great to see a familiar face in this city. 

Feeling the Pain

As anticipated, our trainers are abusing us at the gym. We've each only been twice but that's been enough to nearly paralyze us. As I was gathering my computer, cell phone, etc. to head off to bed tonight, Lindsay and I had this conversation...

Me: [Wincing in pain] I should be able to straighten my arms, right? That's something I should be able to do.

Linds: Well, sure. But in theory there are a lot of things we should be doing - having sex, drinking alcohol - so I wouldn't worry.