On the Bus Today...

...I was kind of in a zone, staring at the ground, wishing my throat didn't hurt, when I thought to myself, I know this feeling. The feeling of wanting to gouge out your eyes and tear off your ears and yell at someone to eat a sandwich. It was then that I realized I had been listening to a voice that sounded oddly like Bag-O-Bones drone on for nearly 15 minutes. And I wanted to die.

(Maybe I'll use this example next time they ask me about a time I thought I was going to die at FHE.)

If you don't know who Bag-O-Bones is, you're not missing much. She's an ex-coworker that is quite literally a bag of bones. She's always wrapped in a blanket at her desk, likes to talk about how she can't gain weight and how "fat America" is ruining her wardrobe because even kid's sizes are too big. But that's not the bad part - be sickly skinny if you want. It's her voice. It's the kind of voice that makes you want to...well, gouge out your eyes and tear off your ears. And she's always telling stories about her family, which I know doesn't sound annoying, but it is. I have witnesses to back me up. There was a stretch of a few months where she sat on the other side of the cubicle wall and I nearly died. Or maybe she did. 

Anyway, Bag-O-Bones II was on the bus today and she talked the entire 30 minute bus ride saying things like, "Have you ever realized that talking about weather is universal? It's the one thing that, no matter where you are, everyone has in common." And the lady next to her was enjoying it! Engaging in the conversation even!

As I was stepping off the bus I got a text from my brother that said, "What's funny is how two insane people on the bus, who individually would talk to you and make you feel uncomfortable, can talk to each other like they are best friends about whatever crazy thing comes to mind."

Apparently we were having the same experience at the same time. It's somehow comforting to know that bus crazies are universal.