My job gives me the opportunity to work with a lot of different people from a slew of web properties and last week I got an email from one of the publishers that I work particularly closely with. Now, getting an email from them isn't out of the ordinary; I send/receive hundreds of emails on a daily basis. But this particular email was a little out of the ordinary. It's purpose was to ask if my boss and I would be willing to participate in a panel discussion and present the "agency perspective" for this company's internal sales training.
But you see, public speaking and I aren't really friends. I actually make fun of public speaking on the playground and steal its lunch money. Or does public speaking make fun of me on the playground?
Regardless, my first inclination was to delete the email and pretend I had never received it. But then I decided to be an adult....so I let it sit in my inbox for a few hours (or overnight) before responding.
Eventually I responded and said "No problem! Of course I'd be happy to help!".
I didn't mean it.
My boss and I jumped on a call this morning with the guy heading up this training to review the format and some of the questions we'll be asked. During the course of the discussion he casually mentioned that there would be roughly 60 people in attendance and three of us on the panel answering questions.
I CAN'T FLY UNDER THE RADAR WHEN I'M 33% OF THE PANEL.
As soon as we got off the call my phone rang. It was my boss and our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi.
Boss: This is going to put you out of your comfort zone.
Me: Sure is. And I'm freaking out.
Boss: It's going to be fine. How many people are on the team you work with over there?
Me: Five or six.
Boss: See, it's just like them...times 10.
Me: Exactly. TIMES TEN!
And then she gave me a pep talk about how it's going to help me grow, which is all well and good, but doesn't change the fact that I've been on the verge of vomiting for the past two days because I'm so nervous.
Growth opportunities are totally overrated.
3 comments:
You will do a fantastic job!! When is this meeting? How long do you have to live in agony?
Good luck! I know what you mean about growth opportunities - I hate going into something knowing that the only thing I'll get out of it is a little growth. Ouch.
Haha...just pretend you're giving a talk in primary. Actually, didn't you speak at graduation? WAY more than 60 people. You've totally got this!
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