conversation of the day

NW: Does he look mansized enough to be riding that bike?
Me: Mansized? I don't even know that that means, but I'm laughing so hard.
NW: Is he the size of a man?
NW: []yes
NW: []no
NW: It's a perfect adjective.

She's right. It is perfect.

And for the record, no, he did not look mansized enough to be riding that bike.

monkey

I stopped by my office tonight to pick up my computer and found these on my desk wrapped in plastic.

Yes, those are monkey slippers.

I have the strangest job.

mis padres

These two status updates, side-by-side, made me smile this morning.

conversation of the day

SS: Did I tell you I bought a BMW?
Me: No....?!?
SS: Oh, well I bought a BMW. Two years ago.

i've got a rep to protect.

We moved this chair from the living room into my bedroom to make way for the Christmas tree.

The Plan:
Cozy up at night and read books.


The Reality:
No time to read books. Instead throw clothes on it as you take them off on your way to bed in a zombie-like state.

From bad to worse.

This chair is really messing with my reputation of being an organized person.

m-i-c-k-e-y

Monday was spent thinking about her:

While Tuesday and Wednesday focused on her:

And Thursday and Friday were centered around this:

It was a long week, but the good news is that I survived.

The other good news is that I got to spend part of the afternoon watching a movie with my team. And apparently eating our weight in popcorn. Who would ever need that much popcorn?!?

Other Fun Facts: That popcorn bucket is branded with a movie my team is currently planning and most of the previews this afternoon were for other titles that we'll be working on.

High five to Mickey!

this ocd of mine, i'm gonna let it shine

By my standards, I had a very productive Saturday. I didn't sleep in (well, not as late as I wanted), got a haircut, finished unpacking from Michigan, did laundry, cleaned, prepared a lesson, went to the grocery store, made scotcheroos and went to a party. I mean, if you knew what my normal Saturday's were like, you'd be impressed. However, two big things did not happen on Saturday: Christmas shopping and working.

Work. After being out of the office unexpectedly for three days the week before and knowing this week was going to be intense, I really needed to work over the weekend. And I did not.

Monday rolled around and, even though I worked 14 hours, I still only finished what I should have done over the weekend. I was now a day behind. Tuesday showed up and I needed to make up for the lost time. Unfortunately, when I arrived at work (early!) I saw that my morning was full of meetings.

I needed a plan. So, at 12:30 while I was eating lunch, I made one.

Aside from a meeting from 3-4, my calendar was clear after 1pm. By that time I only had 17 proposals left to review. If I wanted to be out of the office by 7:30pm, I had 5.5 hours to review those 17 proposals, assuming I ignored every other email, phone call, request that came in. That meant I could spend 19 minutes on each proposal. Ultimately, I decided I would allot myself 15 minutes per proposal, giving me a 4 minute buffer for each in case things got crazy.

You may think I'm joking, but I assure you I am not. I crunched these numbers.

What did I do to keep on track, you ask? Well, I opened up the stopwatch on my phone and would check back every so often to see how much time I had spent with the proposal I was working on. The timer would be reset every time I opened a new proposal.

I'm not going to lie, I thought this was a brilliant plan.
I had been at it for nearly two hours when a teammate walked up to my desk. She began talking and after noticing my phone said, "What's going on with your phone?"

Me: "Oh, it's the stopwatch. Just pretend you never saw it."
CW: "Right. Why is the stopwatch going?"
Me: "Oh, you know...I'm just timing how long I'm reviewing each proposal."
CW: "You're timing how long you review each proposal."
Me: "Uh, yup. I have 15 minutes to spend on each one so keep talking; you're eating into my time."
CW: "Dude, I can't even talk to you with that thing going. It's stressing me out!"
Me: "Look, it's not weird..."
CW: "Yes, it is weird. But whatever works for you."

So, maybe it was an extreme measure. BUT I AM DESPERATE. And I didn't care how weird she though it was when I finished all 17 proposals 90 minutes earlier than planned. Just in time to start in on all the emails I had been ignoring for the last four hours.

That's 14 minutes per proposal, for those of you keeping score at home. OCD wins.

we're the great lakes state, let's celebrate

Last night I was at a Christmas party of sorts and decided I needed some dessert in my life. Remembering that there were sugar cookies to be had I went to the table and found that only one was left AND it was the shape of a mitten.

I think I probably shouted for joy (you know, because I got the last cookie) and said something like, "There's one left! And the shape is very fitting."

The response I got? A quizzical look and "Why? Because you wear mittens all the time?"

"Well, no. Because I'm from Michigan", I replied.

[Blank stare.]

You guys. He didn't know Michigan was shaped like a mitten.

Having my mind blown by this, I of course went on to ask several other people if they knew what the shape of Michigan resembled. Three other people, actually.

NO ONE ELSE KNEW EITHER.

I get that I might be a little biased because I lived there for 17 years and all, but I'm pretty sure even if I hadn't I still would have noticed.

And just for funsies I typed into Google, what is michigan shaped like? The results brought up a Yahoo Answers page where someone had asked a similar question. Here's what "Buck" had to say about it: did you really think this was a hard question? any 8th grader could have answered this.

Apparently not, Buck.

bangs to resolutions

I always wait to get my hair cut until my bangs are so long and ridiculous that I look in the mirror and think, I literally cannot go another day looking like this. Today was that day for me. Except I didn't even have to look in the mirror. I just lay in bed and remembered what I looked like yesterday, grabbed my phone without even getting out of bed and made an appointment for 30 minutes later.

My stylist said to me, "You know what your new year's resolution should be? To come in every three weeks for a bang trim.". I'm not kidding. It's THAT bad.

Maybe that's what it will take. But it got me thinking about new year's resolutions in general.

I need something good for 2011.

what are you trying to say?

Do you ever wonder what kind of targeting is in place for the ads you get served?

Let's take an example from tonight. As I watched three episodes of 30 Rock, Hulu served me an eHarmony ad. Now, do you think eHarmony thought they would reach their target audience by targeting that type of show? Possibly.

But after the ad ran and I continued watching, from my bed, I had another thought. It's also possible that they were targeting by day of week. As in, anyone watching TV online on a Friday evening might also be a person with a need for eHarmony.

Or maybe I'm a media planner with too much time on her hands.

not an empty threat.

If their parents aren't careful, I might try to sneak off with one (or more) of these babies (or their siblings).

UPDATE: Why does my left hand look MASSIVE in that top photo? It's creeping me out.

1967.

My dad received a gift from his brother this weekend.

It was a framed photo that he had never seen before of himself and an old friend. 19 years old. Just drafted into the Army. About to step on a train that would take them to basic training.

The pants. The shoes. The jacket with the sleeves pushed up. The unusually small bag. The blue steel look.

I love it all.

give thanks.

My second Thanksgiving on my own came and went successfully.

I still have yet to make a turkey in my life, but after finding out that you have to stick your hand inside and "rub the turkey" I don't know that I'll be checking that one off the list any time soon. I mean, I can't even eat meat off of the bone. Luckily, these two brave souls made the turkey happen.

Between the six of us, we had everything necessary to make a complete Thanksgiving dinner. Minus the corn, which I forgot at home. My mashed potatoes felt naked without it, but I managed.

No gathering put on by CK would be complete without the perfect decor, including hand stamped name tags and books of gratitude.

As it turns out, homemade table decorations are also fire hazards. For example, that lit candle between the popcorn and chocolate quite possibly set the wood slats surrounding it on fire. Our meal was done. Our backs were to the table. I was drifting off into a post-dinner nap. We were none the wiser. Luckily JC had a craving for pie and walked past the table, only to find it flaming.

The end result.

I have so many things to be thankful for.
On that day in particular, one of those things was good people in my life.

Today, it's my family. And health.
Tomorrow something else will likely take that top spot.

But I am grateful. For so many things.

sunday will come

secure

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to pat down your hoodie."

Go for it.

Nothing like a Thursday morning pat down.

on the bus today...

...I got on, sat down and nothing happened for several minutes. The doors didn't close. The bus wasn't moving. I asked the guy across the aisle what was going on and he, first, looked at me like I was crazy for even trying to talk to him and, second, responded with "nothing".

Clearly this was his first time on the bus.

So, I got up and asked the driver what was going on. She replied, with a tone that implied that I should have known, "I've called a supervisor and am waiting for them to escort that guy off." I turned in the direction of her head-point and discovered "that guy" was a homeless dude laying down across the seats. For the record, he seemed to be minding his own business.

Regardless, I hopped off the bus, thinking another was coming within the next few minutes [Wrong. It was 20 minutes.] and soon nearly the entire bus cleared out and we were all waiting at* the bus stop again. I mean, I'm not trying to say they were all following me, but that's exactly what I'm trying to say.

Well, the joke was on them for trusting my judgment because as soon as the bus cleared out, the driver closed the doors and drove away. WITHOUT REMOVING THE HOMELESS MAN.

It was a mean trick.




*It was recently pointed out to me that I say "on the bus stop" instead of "at the bus stop". And that it's incorrect to do so. Of course I needed to get a second (through fifth) opinion and it turns out they unanimously agreed that I was wrong.


So, there you go. I was AT the bus stop.

the goose is getting fat

It's officially Christmastime in the HowardLymanCarrubba household.
And the decorations are out to prove it.

Including this guy.

I'm watching you [watching me], Santa.

conversation of the day

AB: You're eating that apple like a squirrel.
Me: Oh yeah? How do you eat your apples?
AB: Like a man.

For the record, I'm not sad that I don't eat apples like a man.

after the storm

So, we've already established that the city of Seattle does not know how to deal with storms. For evidence, look no further than my 3.5 hour commute home on the bus and SB's nightmare of being trapped on the freeway, covering 6 miles in 7 hours. SEVEN HOURS, people.

I decided before I went to bed on Monday night that there was no way I was going to the office the next day. So I didn't. I stayed in sweats and worked from my bed all day. It was much more productive than it sounds. In the evening, after receiving reports that the roads still weren't awesome, I decided to continue my time in my bed and read a book. The entire book.

Wednesday morning rolled around and I knew our offices were closing early, so I decided that since working from home had been successful on Tuesday, I would do it again. And by "from home" I mean "from bed".

But you guys, by mid-day I was going crazy. I had spent 42 hours in my house and I was dying to get out.

The first step to freedom was cleaning off the car.

So I prepared.
Hoodie. Coat. Gloves. Boots.

*Please note that I didn't change out of the sweat pants. Hot.

I had realized that the scraper was INSIDE the car, which was covered in the snow I was going out to remove, so I improvised with a cookie sheet. I'm brilliant. There, I said it.

As it turns out, my gloves were made more for looking cute and less for protecting from wet/cold, but my cookie sheet-shovel idea did the trick and my car was clean in no time.

I backed down my steep, narrow, snow-covered driveway without crashing into any cars at the bottom, which was my one goal.

From this experience I learned two things:
1. 44 consecutive hours indoors is too much.
2. Cookie sheets can double as snow removal devices.

Noted.

And just for funsies, here is some footage of a street in Seattle from Monday night.

identity crisis

Today Seattle got a little confused and thought it was one of those places that has a real winter.
Silly Seattle.

I woke up to big flakes falling.
I'm not going to lie, it made my heart pretty happy. [I happen to love snow.]
I was surprised to see this much snow on the back porch and I gladly rocked my boots, hat, gloves and scarf.

I made it to work without any issues and went about my day. But people kept leaving early [we're talking Noon] because the "roads were bad" and I kept thinking they were making a big deal out of nothing. However, after my final presentation of the day was over at 3:30, it looked to be snowing hard and I thought I'd try to beat the rush and finish out my work from the comfort of my bed home.

To be clear, I left my office at 3:30.

I stood on the bus stop for an hour. It was 28 degrees. I've never been more grateful for boots, a hat, gloves and a scarf in my life. The bus finally showed up, mere seconds after I posted on FB that I would kiss the bus driver if/when the bus finally showed up. I guess the universe just wanted that to happen. [It didn't.] We made it through downtown without incident, other than the fact that the bus was so full that the driver had to stop picking people up.

And then this is where the nightmare began.

We turned onto the street that was going to take us straight on 'til morning and then just stopped moving. The light would go from green, to yellow, to red over and over and we moved inches each time.

It was maddening.

And then I began to think about how I was stuck and it's possible that a smidgen of claustrophobia set in. It was now close to 5:30pm and it was in the midst of those thoughts that I wrote this.

But instead of losing my mind, I decided to turn on some Sufjan Stevens Christmas and take a little nap. It was helpful, but when I woke up 20 minutes later, I found myself nearly in the same spot. Not ideal.

My bus driver eventually got into the left lane, which was the most brilliant idea he's ever had [I'm sure of it] and we started covering more ground. We finally passed the road that led to the freeway and from then on we didn't have to worry about traffic, just icy roads. I'll take it.

After a snowy hike through the neighborhood, I ended up walking through my front door at 7:00pm.  I was very grateful to be home and feeling bad for the people still still on the freeway for several hours after that.

Before I crawled into bed tonight, this was the view from my front door.

Looks like I'm working from home tomorrow.
And it also looks like Seattle hasn't learned it's lesson from the 2008 debacle.

---------------------------------------------------
In other news, this guy was preaching on the corner while I waited for the bus.

He appeared to be preaching from the dictionary. That's a new approach.

winner.

Once upon a time I planned a pie contest at work.

And then forgot about it.

But! I remembered just in time to throw together a pie the night before. I thought it would be best to participate in my own contest. As it turned out, the people liked it and I won best overall pie.

And it was then that I regretted promising only bragging rights and high fives to the winners.

Jingle Balls

Yeah, you read that right.

Looks like I've never been happier.

whip my hair back and forth

So, this is what the hub bub is about.



And for those of you who haven't seen the original version.

PEOPLE got it right

That's right friends, it's time again for People's Sexiest Man Alive.

Last year, they clearly made the wrong choice and went with Johnny Depp.

But this year? Ryan Reynolds. Good choice.

our house, is a very, very, very fine house

LL: I need to go to the craft store.
Me: [silence]
LL: What? I need to get stuff for my cornucopia!


But I can't say anything, Internet, because she crafted me into an owl.

So, bring on the felt leaves and cornucopias!

if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball

Tonight's FHE was dodgeball. When asked if I was going, I gave the following explanation.

One of two things would happen.

Scenario 1: I get hit in the face with the ball and am out immediately.
Scenario 2: I fly under the radar by never really touching the ball. Then, somehow, I'm the last one standing on my team. Then I get hit in the face with the ball and I'm out.

Either way it's less than ideal.

Oh, and also? We're not 14.

conversation of the day

Me: My roommates and I ate nearly an entire bag of cinnamon gummi bears over a two hour period.
Co-Worker: Psh. That's amateur hour.
Co-Worker: No, really. That's weak. I can eat SO much more candy than that.


Well, I wasn't bragging. But, strangely, I now feel better about the situation.

guaranteed or your money back

I made the rounds tonight to return my year old purchases. Nearly everyone thought I was crazy BUT, crazy or not, I came out $183 richer in the end.

And I'm determined to stop hoarding.

We'll see.

what not to wear

You guuuuuys. I think it's time to admit that I have a problem. I've never been through any sort of 12 step program, but I think that's where it all starts.

Here's the thing: I hate shopping. I loath digging through racks of clothes. Trying things on is on my list of Top Five Least Favorite Things. I have no vision of what an article of clothing can become - if, when it's on my body, it's not supposed to look exactly how it does on the rack, forget about it.

But when it rains, it pours.

In those rare instances when I do find myself in the mood to shop, I go overboard and buy everything that even remotely fits my body. Because who knows when I'll ever want to buy another article of clothing?! I mean, it could be never. There's always that chance.

Last week I spent an embarrassing amount of money at Sephora. And last night I brought along a personal shopper* to look for boots and I ended up buying, well, boots and then some.

The good news: I had $225 in Nordstrom gift cards that I'd been hoarding over the past two years (literally two years) so the boots were more than free.
The bad news: Every non-Nordstrom purchase I made was not free.

So, in order to justify my recent purchases I began thinking of everything I had that I could take back. I made a mental list....
I've had a set of sheets in my trunk since July that I need to take back.
I'm planning to take back 1/3 of my Sephora purchases from last week.
The cardigan I bought tonight is nearly identical to one I already have. That can go back.

Then I remembered I had a pair of jeans sitting in my closet that I was supposed to have hemmed, but never did. A YEAR AGO. They're still in the bag with the tags on them. Surely I can convince the store to still take them back, I thought.

(This is where things get a little out of control.)

I came home and pulled the year-old jeans out of the closet. Except they weren't alone. With them I also found an H&M bag with two shirts and a scarf. An Old Navy bag with another pair of jeans. And a Target bag with swimsuit bottoms. All unworn. All with tags. And receipts.

Guys, I think I'm a hoarder. I'm pretty sure that's what this means.

Who forgets about $160 worth of clothing just sitting in their closet (FOR A YEAR) waiting to be taken back? A hoarder, that's who. Get me on that A&E show!

Moral of the Story: I have a problem. An intervention will likely be necessary. Looking forward to it.

----------------------------------------------------

But can we talk for a minute about my new boots? I literally fell in love with them. The saleswoman opened the box and I couldn't wait to put them on my feet.

I was hoping no one had noticed the way my eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning and how I tossed aside the boot I was holding to get my hands on them, but my personal shopper saw it all. And she called me out.

The best part is having zero buyer's remorse because they were technically free. High five.





*Having someone pulling things off the rack and telling you what to try on is THE BEST way to shop. I might always need a personal shopper with me in the future.

conversation of the day

Me: I just spent the evening shopping. And I went to institute on Tuesday.
LL: Who are you?
Me: I changed while you were gone last week.
LL: Clearly. I didn't realize I was the bottleneck.

a salesman's dream.

Tonight I had a work "meeting" at Sephora. I know, life is hard, right?

All three of us got our make-up done and before my guy even started putting anything on my face, I knew I was going to buy it all. It just had to be done. Not to mention he kept telling me how beautiful I was (Note to Self: Go to Sephora when you need a self-esteem boost.) which was an added bonus.

On top of that, it actually looked really great when he was finished. All he said was, "Which of the products we used today would you like?" and suddenly I was carrying a basket full to the counter. I'm the ideal customer.

I will not admit to you, dear internet, how much money I actually spent. However, I will say that I'm currently experiencing buyer's remorse so some of it may make its way back to the store.

But only some.

I never stood a chance.

conversation of the day

This is what living in my house is like.

CC: I bought this shirt. It's a little low...
Me: Nothing wrong with showing a little cleave.
ET: Those are words to live by.

my boyfriend's back

It's no secret that I don't hate routine. Routine tucks me in at night and sings a sweet lullaby as I drift off to sleep. (What does that even mean? No one knows.) While 2010 has brought progress in terms of stepping out of my comfort zone, I'm still me.

And one of the things that makes me ME is the fact that sometimes I eat the same thing for lunch. Nearly every day. At one point in time my lunch of convenience choice was Quiznos. I ate there so often that I never had to say what I wanted. In fact, my order was told to me by Quiznos Guy as soon as I stepped up to the counter.

Having a "usual" is a strange mix of awesome and embarrassing.

But I broke up with Quiznos a while ago. So imagine my surprise when I walked into Subway last week with a co-worker and saw Quiznos Guy behind the counter. At Subway. I only had time to mumble, "I know this guy" to my co-worker before I was greeted by his smile.

QG: Hi! How are you?
Me: Good! How are you?
QG: Good. I work here now.
Me: I see that. How long have you been here?
QG: Two weeks.
Me: Great.
[order sandwich]
QG: No tomato, no onion, right?!
Me: Yup.
QG: How was your weekend?

My co-worker, having zero context, just watched in amazement. As we walked away she said, "What just happened?".

Even though I broke up with Quiznos, I didn't have to break up with my sandwich maker. He's learning the Subway version of "the usual" and soon it will be just like old times. It's perfect.

hoo hoo

Halloween.
Remember how it is the holiday I'm the worst at?
Remember how last year I accidentally dressed up as a Zombie Olive?
I'm happy to report that things went better this year thanks to my crafting superstar roommate.

A few weeks ago I got an email from LL that contained a photo and a one sentence message:
"We could make this..."

For a minute I thought she was crazy. Then I realized she was a genius. And then I got excited because I had an idea for a costume! AN IDEA. The hardest part.

She made it happen.

There were even feathers involved.

I was in a meeting at work watching YouTube videos with co-workers (yes, we work hard) when I had my own stroke of genius in the form of a costume idea for AB. And our very own Antoine Dodsen was born.

SU put her own craftiness to the test by sewing a skunk costume and Butter got some good use out of her very legit taekwondo getup.

We hit up the famous Halloween dance party and danced the night away. Sadly, I have very few pictures of the happenings.

And the night ended with Butter escorting Adam to his car. Without getting out of her own. We keep things classy around here.

My favorite quote of the night came from SU during our post-party recap.
SU: "Your hair looks good like that. Even if some of it is stuck to your head from sweat."
Again, keeping it classy.

Overall, two thumbs up for Halloween 2010.


PS. Did I ever show you the photo of the 2009 zombie olive? Probably not. But it's been a year and I've dealt with it, so here it is.

conversation of the day

Sometimes meeting with sales reps is enjoyable and most of the time sometimes it’s torture. Yesterday I had three rep meetings, one on each end of the spectrum and one in the middle.

My favorite conversation resulting from those meetings went as follows:

Co-Worker: “There’s nothing going on in Canada.”

Rep: “Justin Bieber, dude.”

….

Rep: “What? He’s from Vancouver!”


For the record, none of our campaigns have anything to do with Justin Bieber. So, yeah, it was a totally relevant piece of information.

feeling festive.

I love this time of year.
And I love traditions.

do the puyallup.

The Puyallup Fair is a big deal around these parts.

Something about the fair just makes me happy. The lights. The food that makes you spend the rest of the evening questioning your judgment. The premium people watching. All of it.

But really, it all comes down to fair food.
Last year I tried my first corn dog. This year I bought a soft pretzel and immediately dropped the majority of it on the ground like a small child.

Roasted corn.

 Elephant ears.

 Oh, and giant pumpkins just for funsies.

Three of us were repeat visitors from last year. Puyallup Fair 2009 vs 2010. Can you guess which feet belong to Lindsay?

See you next year Puyallup!


PS - Can you tell I just loaded several months of photos onto my computer? Don't you worry. There is plenty more where these posts came from.