what not to wear

You guuuuuys. I think it's time to admit that I have a problem. I've never been through any sort of 12 step program, but I think that's where it all starts.

Here's the thing: I hate shopping. I loath digging through racks of clothes. Trying things on is on my list of Top Five Least Favorite Things. I have no vision of what an article of clothing can become - if, when it's on my body, it's not supposed to look exactly how it does on the rack, forget about it.

But when it rains, it pours.

In those rare instances when I do find myself in the mood to shop, I go overboard and buy everything that even remotely fits my body. Because who knows when I'll ever want to buy another article of clothing?! I mean, it could be never. There's always that chance.

Last week I spent an embarrassing amount of money at Sephora. And last night I brought along a personal shopper* to look for boots and I ended up buying, well, boots and then some.

The good news: I had $225 in Nordstrom gift cards that I'd been hoarding over the past two years (literally two years) so the boots were more than free.
The bad news: Every non-Nordstrom purchase I made was not free.

So, in order to justify my recent purchases I began thinking of everything I had that I could take back. I made a mental list....
I've had a set of sheets in my trunk since July that I need to take back.
I'm planning to take back 1/3 of my Sephora purchases from last week.
The cardigan I bought tonight is nearly identical to one I already have. That can go back.

Then I remembered I had a pair of jeans sitting in my closet that I was supposed to have hemmed, but never did. A YEAR AGO. They're still in the bag with the tags on them. Surely I can convince the store to still take them back, I thought.

(This is where things get a little out of control.)

I came home and pulled the year-old jeans out of the closet. Except they weren't alone. With them I also found an H&M bag with two shirts and a scarf. An Old Navy bag with another pair of jeans. And a Target bag with swimsuit bottoms. All unworn. All with tags. And receipts.

Guys, I think I'm a hoarder. I'm pretty sure that's what this means.

Who forgets about $160 worth of clothing just sitting in their closet (FOR A YEAR) waiting to be taken back? A hoarder, that's who. Get me on that A&E show!

Moral of the Story: I have a problem. An intervention will likely be necessary. Looking forward to it.

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But can we talk for a minute about my new boots? I literally fell in love with them. The saleswoman opened the box and I couldn't wait to put them on my feet.

I was hoping no one had noticed the way my eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning and how I tossed aside the boot I was holding to get my hands on them, but my personal shopper saw it all. And she called me out.

The best part is having zero buyer's remorse because they were technically free. High five.





*Having someone pulling things off the rack and telling you what to try on is THE BEST way to shop. I might always need a personal shopper with me in the future.