Christmas Crazy

Merry Christmas from the Howards and Rickards! This is where we appear to be normal.

After about 100 attempts at getting a good photo, I decided we needed to have some fun. Below is the first result and I absolutely LOVE it.

What's my favorite part? I'm so glad you asked. Without question it is my mom's hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her get crazy and throw them up at the last second. Ahhh...so funny.

After a little encouragement to those who didn't participate the first time, we made our second attempt.

Who knew there was so much fish-lip talent in my family? My favorite part of this photo is Annie. Everything about her really, but mostly the power fist. It's as if she's saying, "Too cool! Very cool!" (Think Cory Feldman in Stand By Me)

I like us.

Welcome Home Champ!

Imagine you've just arrived back in Seattle after spending the better part of a week in Arizona with your family. Your plane lands thirty minutes early so as you wait at baggage claim you're in no hurry because your ride is still on the way. You pass the time with a little people watching and smile to yourself at the little girl in pink sweatpants who is also rocking pink cowboy boots. You send a few text messages and as you close your phone and store it away, you look up to see a dear friend standing across the baggage conveyor belt.

Now this is surprising all on its own considering she wasn't supposed to be picking you up. And since when do people come into the airport to meet you anymore? (Hint: They don't.) But what made it even more surprising was that she was holding a bouquet of flowers and also a giant poster.

Surprising. And embarrassing.

The sign said "Welcome Home Champ!" and was plastered with photos of the ultimate* dreamboat: Tim Riggins.

The people around you must have thought you were crazy because you were laughing out loud and saying things like, "Shut. Up." and "Seriously?" to what appeared to be no one. She made her way through the crowd and surely they put two and two together during your photo shoot.

And lucky you because your ever so thoughtful friend even offered to carry your bag so that YOU could carry the flowers and sign around the airport. All in all, it was the best welcome home you've ever received.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!

*Ryan Reynolds might be the true ultimate dreamboat, but we'll just go with it.

Conversation of the Day

Me: Dad, did you just play that game through the prayer?
Dad: I was already in the middle of it.
...
Dad: Lives are at stake.

Confession #3654

I've only left this house twice since I arrived last Wednesday (But I've surprised even myself by showering daily. Three cheers for hygiene!). That's not the confession. I'm hoping that maybe it provides - not quite an excuse - but some sort of context for what I'm about to tell you.

Confession: Today I read a Jack Weyland book.

Yes, the same Jack Weyland who authored books you read when you were 14 years old. Or maybe you didn't...but I did. And I don't know how or why it happened today, but it did.

This is how it went down:

The book was titled Brianna, My Brother, and the Blog and it was horrible. I honestly think I could have written something better...and you're reading this blog so that should tell you something about my lack of writing skills. But of course I read the whole thing because 1) you can't just stop a book once you start 2) he told me outright in the first chapter that the baseball glove would prove significant later on so clearly I had to stay tuned and 3) I was curious to see if, when I thought it couldn't, it really could get any worse.

So in case you too were wondering if the books you read as a teenager were really as good as you remembered, the answer is not likely.

Elf

Today I was elfed by a co-worker (as were a few other CW's). I can't figure out how to embed it, but you can check it out here.

A few things:
1. WHY do I find these things so funny? I've never created one myself, but every time I see one I laugh so hard and have to watch it multiple times. I think there was one last year of my brother that made me nearly wet my pants.
2. My head looks JUMBO compared to everyone else. Shocker. Remember how I have a big head complex? This did not help.
3. Make sure to check out my solo at the end where I bust out some sweet moves. I even impressed myself! Being able to detach my head from my body like that also takes great skill.

I've Got You Beat

On Sunday I was chatting with someone about high school and somewhere along the way in this very random conversation, she mentioned that she was most likely wearing a sweater vest in her senior picture.

Now, this may be my 11th grade school photo, but I think I have her beat with the vest I'm rocking. Yup, it's fleece.

Man, I loved that vest.

PS - And I might look orange in this photo, but I'm 99% sure it was not fake. I think this was taken during the tennis season.

Round Two

Two Snuggies in one holiday season? This is almost too much to handle. But unlike Snuggie #1, Snuggie #2 was personalized and bedazzled with love.

It took a bazillion tries to get a picture even that decent and at one point I asked, "How do I look?".

The response I got: "You're wearing a SNUGGIE."

Right.

Happy Saturday!

I thought I'd bring this one back just for funsies.

Thumbs Up Thursday

It may have had a rough start, but Thursday ended up being a pleasant surprise. I came home tonight smiling, which isn't a given these days.

My day started to turn around when I got this beauty as a gift from a publisher.

Pretend, for a moment, that my eyes are open.

A classic blue Snuggie WITH the bonus reading lamp. Don't be jealous. So ridiculous and so awesome at the same time. Nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

The real kicker for the day was the company Christmas party. Yes, the company party ended up being the (very unexpected) highlight of my day. But how could it not be when it was called LAZORKITTEN Christmas Party.

Wondering what a Lazorkitten is? Behold...
Five of these bad boys were plastered around the party area. The one on the right was my favorite.

I don't know if there is a way to make you understand the experience of this party, but I'll try.

• There were Lazorkittens.
• There were two DJ's (not simultaneously).
• There was a fog machine.
• There were laser-ish lights.
• There was a live performance. (It included spandex and some sweet moves.)
• There was a photo booth where I maybe had my picture taken at various points in the evening with at least three of those Lazorkittens + co-workers (some I'd never even spoken with before).
• There was an open bar. Now, you may be wondering how this benefited me since I don't drink. I assure you, it did. There were trainwrecks waiting to happen, my friends.
  
• Finally, there was dancing.

I had a dance party at my office, with my co-workers.

I'm a fan of the dance party in the right situation. Normally I wouldn't consider a dance party with my co-workers the "right situation", but whatever. It usually takes me a while to talk myself into letting loose, but somehow it happened tonight and I just danced my little heart out. I think it helped that by that time everyone was a little tipsy.

Like the Snuggie, the party was so ridiculous and so awesome at the same time.

Flashback: December 2007

Guys, my December 2007 was a keeper.

It doesn't get much better than, Smarney in Laughlin and this conversation with my brother. And since many of us will be traveling by air in the next week, let's just quickly review my air travel Do's and Don'ts for good measure.

It's a good thing I'm writing this stuff down.

On the bus today..

...Cute-Bus-Boy-Who-Reads sat next to me.

He read his book.

I made sure not to fall asleep.

Conversation of the Day: Pork Bomber Part II

I had dinner with friends tonight to celebrate a Seattle bestie who is taking off on an adventure for the next six months. (PS - I'm very excited for her and sad for myself.)


Me: I think I'm going to get the Pork Bomber. No, maybe I want the club.
C: You can't. You're getting the Pork Bomber just because I want to hear you order it.

...A few minutes pass and our waiter comes to take our order...

Waiter: And what will you have?
Me: Uhh...I'll have the Pork Bomber.
Waiter: [Staring blankly while everyone else at the table giggles.] I'm sorry, what would you like?
Me: The Pork Bomber.
Me: And really? You made me say it again?
Waiter: [Laughing a little.] I really didn't hear you the first time.
Me: Sure you didn't.

In the end, the Pork Bomber was the wrong choice. It was less than delicious. And remember when I ate the Pork Bomber for the first time during my first weekend in Seattle?

Caught Red Handed

It's possible that I sleep on the bus to and from work each day. There are times when I try not to and those times almost always end in failure, so why fight it? I don't care that a bus full of people see me passed out in my own happy dream world every day, but it's always a little embarrassing to find that someone I know is/was on the bus.

 

This morning I got caught. By Chats McGee.

 

Chats doesn't normally ride my bus, but after I had nearly slept through my stop, stepped off the bus sleepy-eyed and began walking to my building, I heard him talking behind me.

 

CM: Hey.

S: Oh hey!

CM: I was on your bus this morning.

S: Oh yeah? Well, I was passed out so I wouldn't have noticed.

CM: I know. I saw you. I was worried you were going to sleep through your stop.

 

How funny would it have been if I HAD continued sleeping and woke up to Chats McGee telling me it was time to get off the bus? I would have been so confused.

 

And it would have been funny.

What is this "paper" you speak of?

Someone brought two handouts to one of my afternoon meetings and asked us to take one of each and pass the rest around the table. Sounds simple, right?

Nope. It was as if she had asked the group to fly a rocket ship.

People's minds were blown. No one knew what they were looking at or what to do. One guy was holding a pile in each hand, staring blankly, and said, "I have no idea what I'm looking at right now." To which I, of course, responded with a witty (and/or sarcastic) comment. (All in good fun, friends.)

Moral of the story:
Give us millions of dollars and we'll spend it efficiently. Give us spreadsheets with thousands of numbers and we'll analyze the data and provide insights. But give us a sheet of paper and you can plan on seeing zero results.

Conversation(s) of the Day

Both conversations happened simultaneously (in person and on IM) and I couldn't pick which one I liked more.

 

CW#2: Has anyone else noticed that because it's been so dry you're drinking a TON of water?

Me: Oh, no, no, no. I don't drink water.

CW#1: Stephanie doesn't exactly believe in it.

Me: It's true.

 

 

L: Do you think Brandi will show up at the show tonight?

Me: I don't know…that hadn't crossed my mind. Is she even in town?

L: Don't know. But let's still Secret it.

Me: Deal.

Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings

This is the point where the jokes stop and I talk about my feelings. Sounds fun, no? Today was a total downer. In fact, it was one of my least favorite days in recent history.

Side note: I'm currently watching all of the videos I've ever posted on YouTube for funsies (There are a surprisingly small number and some are more than kind of embarrassing) and the video playing right now is Dashboard Confessional performing Hands Down. If you're not familiar with the song the chorus says, "Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember". Yeah...not so much.

Below is the summary of my day to a co-worker:

unfortunately a freak collision of my personal and professional lives letting me know how much i suck.

But if we're looking on the bright side, bad days help remind me of the people that care about me and are willing to put in a little extra effort to give me the boost I need. A few examples:

1. A friend walking seven blocks through the frigid weather to meet me for lunch so I could chat her ear off, even though I only had 15 minutes free from the office. AND came with a Diet Coke stashed in her purse. She's an absolute gem.

2. A friend saying "I think you are really neat!" (which made me laugh through a few tears) and telling me how much he appreciates me and my friendship.

3. And yet another friend allowing me to dump my brain out on a page, reading it and offering up words of support and encouragement including, "And remember, if you didn't have a kick-ass personality, we wouldn't be friends. Just so you know."

Bad News: I suck at life.
Good News: There are still people that are willing to love me in spite of it.

What do you say we just turn out the lights and try again tomorrow?

Oh The Vampyre

Look, I know I should be listening to Christmas music 24/7 (especially since I'm having a difficult time catching the holiday spirit this year) but sometimes my mood requires something other than Bing Crosby's Silver Bells.

I always forget about this song, but every time I hear it I remember how much I love it. And no, it has nothing to do with Edward or Bella.



PS - Did you see that guy's sweatshirt around the 2:50 mark? So awesome.

PPS - I can't explain why I love it so much. I just do.

The Miz

I never thought I would have two posts dedicated to Tomorrow's Champions, but my sister made a discovery today that could not go unshared. My love and knowledge of trashy reality television run too deep.

Let's take an even closer look at the poster I "get" to look at all day, every day, shall we?
Does anyone recognize the fella on the right?

Yes, my fellow reality TV junkies. That IS Mike from The Real World New York (the next generation).

See, kids..dreams do come true. They did for "The Miz".

Halloween Repeated

I've had one year to come up with a killer ugly sweater for my department's annual ugly sweater contest. I didn't participate last year and I told myself I would come up with something great this year (a la Halloween).

But alas, the party is tomorrow and I have nothing.

I guess there's always next year. You know, the good thing about never reaching your goals is that there's always room for improvement.