I Dedicate This Post to Drugs.

Oh boy. Do I have a story for you! I'll try to put the experience into words, but I know there is no way I can do it justice.

I have three words for you: Har Mar Superstar. I'm sure they mean nothing to you. In fact, they meant nothing to me - until last night. But today those three words mean "I don't know what just happened."

Last night Emily, Chelsea and I went to the Sia show at the Avalon Theater and Har Mar Superstar was one of her opening acts. One of the first things he said to us was, "We're going to blow your mind. In ways you don't even realize." He was not joking. My mind was blown (not in a good way) and I'm still trying to figure out what happened.

Let me outline a few details in an attempt to help you understand the experience.

• He is the spitting image of Ron Jeremy. Gross.
• He was wearing silver shoes (with velcro), white pants that were too tight, several shirts and a vest with fringe.
• He did a move that I've only seen break dancers do.
  
• He did a booty shake Shakira-style too many times to count.
• He busted out a body roll too many times to count.
• He ran is hands through his long, curly, sweaty hair like a model posing for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
• He removed an article of clothing every three or four songs.
• He said the words, "I dedicate this song to drugs."
• He danced with a stuffed snake multiple times.
• He plucked and sprinkled.
• By the end of his show he was in his underwear, socks and silver velcro shoes only.

For a full 30 minutes my mouth hung wide open in shock. I could not comprehend what was happening. In fact I kept saying, "What is happening right now?". Emily and Chelsea could not provide an answer. I'm afraid I might have PTSD. I will never get those thirty minutes back.

This video is fairly safe but be warned: You will never get these three minutes and thirty-three seconds back.

On the flip side, Sia was absolutely amazing. Her voice is brilliant. It's kind of hard to believe such a big voice comes out of such a little body. She's slightly crazy, but in a good way.

In fact, I enjoyed her so much that she almost made me forget the horrific scenes of Har Mar. Almost.

Be sure to check out Emily and Chelsea's blogs for their versions of the story.