All I've Got

+It feels like it's time to make a list. One of my favorite things in life. Lists and exaggerations.
+FHE comes in all shapes and sizes. Tonight in came in the shape of dinner with my roommate and her brother. 147% better than the alternative.
+The Ant Man came at 7am today. I was awake and showered, but not dressed. You can only ask so much of me.
+I got a reminder phone call that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 7:30am. Totally forgot. Why would I do that to myself? And two days in a row?
+I've been trying to decide on my favorite photo from the SLC weekend and realized that 90% of my photos are of my nephew. It could not be helped.
+This photo might be a runner-up. Oh, DM...

+Today I was a few mintues late to a meeting and ended up having to sit on the floor for an hour. I realized that nothing smells pleasant from that location.
+On Saturday afternoon I watched two hours of Little People, Big World. I had real things to do, but I just couldn't stop watching.
+I tried Zumba for the first time last week. I felt pretty awkward and totally uncoordinated, but I think I'll go back.
+In related news, my magic phone thinks that I'm trying to spell Zimbabwe every time I type Zumba. You'd be surprised at how often I've typed that word. And how often I haven't noticed that it changed it to Zimbabwe before sending.
+I can't remember what we were discussing in this photo, but I'd like to think it was something like this:

Me: Don't try anything with that syrup.

Em: Try and stop me.

+My sister enrolled me in a photography class for my birthday - my half birthday, really - and I'm definitely enjoying it. Super basic stuff, but really good to learn more about my camera. The problem is that I can't seem to bring myself to do the assignment prior to the last possible moment. I'm a master procrastinator.
+I should never go back to school. See reason above.

+When I was in SLC I ran a 5k with my brother and sister. We're using the word "ran" loosely here.

+My roommates switched rooms on Saturday. Lindsay and I shoved a mattress up our very steep, narrow stairway. It was an adventure. And one I don't wish to relive any time soon.
+The Challenge: Fresh Meat II update: I don't hate Kenny.
+My company is not renewing my bus pass in June, which means I have to start paying to ride the bus, which means I'm a little sad about it.
+Speaking of the bus, the number of days I have to run for the bus has increased substantially since I moved.
+My house has flowers and plants everywhere and I love it. Spring!

+Today is my Mom's birthday!
+I felt very overwhelmed today with everything I'm being asked to do. But it wasn't a constant feeling; it was coming and going. As I thought about this, I was reminded of Greg Laswell's song Comes and Goes (In Waves).  Greg on May 8th at the Tractor, anyone?

Another Anniversary

My two year anniversary at my job came and went this week.  And I totally forgot! I didn't think of it until Chats McGee, who started on the same day as me, IM'd me two days later to remind me.

The good news is I still like it there. The better news is that a change might be coming.

I give you permission to skip this one...

...because it's nerdy and no one cares. BUT. I was reading some of the trades today and the buzz is all about FB taking over the world. Below are a few paragraphs from one of those articles that kind of made me laugh a little.

Remember the computer network in "The Terminator" that progressively got so smart it became sentient and attempted to annihilate the human race? That network was called Skynet, and its goal was to remove the possibility of human error and slowness of reaction time to guarantee fast, efficient response to enemy attack.

Wednesday, at F8, the annual Facebook Developer Conference, Facebook announced its open graph initiative to take the social network to its next logical evolution -- everyplace other than Facebook. The initiative is designed to use people's social interactions (when logged into Facebook, which is like always, natch) to shape their experiences across every possible connected environment. On the Facebook blog, founder Mark Zuckerberg stated that "the power of the open graph is that it helps to create a smarter, personalized web that gets better with every action taken."

[blah, blah, blah. The rest of the article can be read here.)

At a recent dinner, a group of friends of mine discussed whether or not Facebook's market capitalization would ever eclipse Google's. If this plan is successful, it may not be a question of if, but when.

Oh -- and if it does (and achieves sentience)? Please don't annihilate humanity, Facebook. We wouldn't "like" that. Bonus conspiracy theory: Former Facebook Chief Privacy Officer (and genuine, great guy) Chris Kelly is running for California attorney general. California's governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ahnold was The Terminator. Circle. Complete.

Okay, carry on.

Dancing a Jig

Em supplied the penny whistle and sweet tunes. I supplied the jig.

We meant it.

So, There's That.

You heard I was coming didn't you, SLC?

There Is Some...Insect!

You know how sometimes you think you see something out of the corner of your eye crawling up the wall and then you tell yourself your just seeing things but then you look and realize there actually IS something crawling up your wall?

A jumbo spider.

It's gone to a better place.



And oh, how I wish I could tell you the story that the title of this post comes from. But it happened 12-ish years ago and it just wouldn't be funny in writing. Granted, that doesn't normally stop me from posting the majority of what I post, but tonight it will. Just trust me, it was good.

Walking Me Away

Different than last time. Not better or worse, just different. Still good. Still crazy.

Whip It*

Okay, I'm just going to cut to the chase: I went to the roller derby and it was simply amazing.

My only exposure to roller derby was the movie Whip It and I had low expectations for what I was about to experience. I'm happy to report that all of my expectations were exceeded. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that, had you seen me during the two hours I was there, you would have seen what true joy looks like. This was evidenced by me, in one of the quieter moments, randomly shouting, "I'm so happy right now!!!".  True story.

Don't ask me to explain what I loved so much about it because I don't really know. Maybe it was the fact that they were on roller skates. Maybe it was because I wish I was as tough as some of those girls. Or maybe it was because many of them aren't typical "athletes" but they have found something they're good at and are owning it. Whatever the reason, it won me over and I turned into the type of spectator I am when I'm watching the Pistons play. Just a lot of clapping and yelling going on. A lot.

Through the course of the night we discussed what our derby names would be. Here are two suggestions for mine and please keep in mind these names are supposed to make you sound super tough:

HASN'T SHOWARD (You know, s. howard? Get it?)
STEPHANIE HOW-NOW-BROWN-COW

Pretty intimidating, right? Or the opposite.

In other news, my favorite moment of the weekend was when LJL said, while holding a baby, "Babies love me" and then the baby immediately threw up ALL OVER her. It was possibly the most I've ever seen a baby puke at one time and you'd be correct if you assumed that I laughed the entire time I was getting her napkins to clean it up. But at least I actually got her the napkins, which is more than I can say for her that time the bird poo'd on my foot.

An honorable mention moment of the weekend was when I asked if anyone knew how to do magic so that I wouldn't actually have to work on a project that is due tomorrow and PB thought about it for a moment and then responded with, "Ok, here's a list of people I think would know magic out of our three wards". Sadly, the list was decently long.

But roller derby. It's a good time. A real good time.

*Was there really any other option for the title of this post?

Yes, Please!

If you need a reason to start watching Grey's Anatomy, may I suggest this one?

If you give me rockets on the bottom of my shoes...

Two Things. Unrelated. Unnecessary.

CW: The only thing I miss about having a real keyboard are the numbers on the side.
Me: You know, I always appreciate a good 10-key.
CW: If I had a nickle for every time I heard that....
__________________________

In other news, Chase blew my mind last night. Yes, the bank.

You see, I had these here checks and I figured that, after two months, my mom would really appreciate it if I actually cashed one of them and there was a Chase near The Glass Castle were I had dinner, so I seized the opportunity. I do some opportunity seizing sometimes.

I filled out the deposit slip in the car, signed the checks and went to the ATM. But when it came time to deposit them there were no envelopes. I mean, I thought I knew how to deposit checks, but when the confusion set in I realized I had no idea what was going on. If there is anything I learned from elementary school it was to always read the instructions (I'm looking at you, Lyman) so I read the screen.

No desposit slips!
No envelopes!
No [insert one other thing I can't remember]!

With hesitation I stacked the checks and inserted them into the machine sans envelope and deposit slip. To my amazement, mere seconds later, it told me how many checks I had desposited and what the total was!

Mind. Blown.

I walked back to the car with my mouth hanging open in amazement. When I explained this new process to The New Kid she already knew all about it. I guess I'm a little slow.

But we already knew that.

Happy Anniversary, Seattle.

Good news! After two years, I think I'm still in love. I dig long-term relationships.

Two years ago, yesterday, I said goodbye to the state that had been my home for nearly 8 years and eventually pulled into the driveway of a house on the train tracks.

April 4th marked the beginning a good thing with Seattle.

I did some reflecting last year around this time (and also six months prior to that), so I won't bore you with those details again. I will say that even though I still may not know my exact purpose in coming here, I've learned a thing or two or a hundred from Seattle.

And that's really all we can ask for, right?

Heavenly Day

Last week I went to see Patty Griffin at The Moore. I had seen Patty before, on the boat last year and also last summer at the zoo, so I thought I knew what to expect, but this show exceeded my expectations.

Maybe I was just in the right mood. Maybe my mind was blown by her leather leg warmers. Maybe it was her dreamboat piano man. Who really knows? It was all just delightful.

CC got us perfect seats (row B, center) and even with that perfect set-up, this was the only photo I got the whole night.

Yes, I wasted my only photo on curtain and ceiling before the show even started. Apparently magic phones don't have magic batteries that never die.

And as it turns out, we're not the only PG fans. After Buddy Miller finished his opening set and the lights came on, LJL leaned over and said, "That's Brandi." Sure enough, I looked over to see Brandi Carlile sneaking out the side door of the theater. We thought she was trying to remain inconspicuous, but then right before Patty came on she climbed over the entire front row to get to her seats. (Seats that were not as great as ours, btw.) It was kind of interesting to see someone I've seen on stage so many times sitting in the audience, enjoying a show, same as me.

I'll leave you with a little Patty. You're welcome.

*Note: This is an old video. Piano man here is not equal to dreamboat piano man from last week. Although, wouldn't it be funny if that was who I was referring to?

Conversation of the Day

SS: I just won my office pool! That's why I didn't answer when you called.
Me: Oh, was there a game on tonight?
SS: Uhh...yeah. The championship game.
Me: Huh. Right.

Shards of Love

Last week we went to The Pink Door for a team lunch and ordered this dessert just for its name.

Shards of Love.

You can't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing.