Tomorrow's Champions: The Future Starts Now

In addition to my free subscription to People magazine I also randomly get Health magazine (And by randomly I think I mean monthly. It just feels like there is no rhyme or reason.). I used to get US Weekly, but sadly that gravy train ended.

Side note: I was in denial for nearly a month. Every week I would go to my mailbox at work hoping to find the latest issue. Finally, I had to admit that we'd had a good run, but our time together was over.

My co-worker happens to get WWE magazine. I can't imagine what client or campaign she was working on that would have given her reason to buy on that site (resulting in the sales rep giving her a subscription), but it happened.

And WWE magazine has brought our team so much joy.

It all started when flipping through the magazine one day, co-worker #1 found that there was a tear-out poster inside. Think Zac Efron in Tiger Beat...only a wrestler. It was a hidden gem and we knew we had to make use of it.

I thought for a minute and had a stroke of genius. My very by-the-book co-worker (#2) was out of town so we decided to hang the poster in her cube as a fun surprise for when she returned. My favorite part is the tattoo co-worker #3 added on his chest. Brilliant.

CW#2 didn't quite give us the reaction we were looking for (read: no reaction), but you'd better believe that poster is still hanging.

We were lucky enough to receive another issue while co-worker #3 was out of town. When she returned she found this:
That only lasted in her cube for one week.

Then last week CW#1 and CW#2 decided to give me a little gift. It's not actually hanging in my cube, but it's positioned in CW#2's cube so that every time I look up from my computer I can see it.
Here's a closer look...
Those are "Tomorrow's Champions", y'all. Tomorrow's Champions in elbow and knee pads and very small "shorts". There's just so much ridiculousness going on, it's hard to take it all in.

In case you were wondering, "the future starts now".

PEOPLE Got It Wrong

I just spent 15 minutes critiquing People's candidates for 2009's Sexiest Man Alive with two other co-workers.

 

I get a comped copy of the magazine sent to me weekly at the office, as do several other co-workers. After we retrieved our copies from our mailboxes this morning it was only natural that we'd work this review into our day.

 

Johnny Depp was the real winner, but can you guess who I would have cast my vote for?

 

That's right, friends.

 

 Ryan "Dreamboat" Reynolds

You Have a Guest

I don't know what came over me, but I volunteered to be one of eight guest bloggers on my friend Natalie's blog while she spends the week in Buenos Aires and Mexico City.

It was actually a lot of pressure to deliver. If you've read my blog before you know I'm not overly concerned with the quality of content I post here. But I didn't want to tarnish her blog's good name with tales of dropping kids off at the pool and homeless men urinating in milk cartons. I mean, she's legit! People other than her family members comment and she has lurkers revealing themselves left and right.

Again, pressure to deliver.

It was difficult, but I came up with something. And by 'something' I mean 'a novel'. If you're interested, you can find it here.

PS - She's one of my favorite bloggers so you should add yourself to her long list of lurkers.

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It's coming down to the wire on my assigned day of guest blogging - in fact, for you East Coasters it's already Tuesday and I've missed the boat - and I'm feeling the pressure. Who knew blogging on a schedule would be so hard? Lucky for me I rock the West Coast, Seattle to be exact, and still have time. But I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't sprinkle every assignment with a little procrastination. By way of introduction, I'm stephanielynn and am a friend of Nat's from her Utah (post-college) days. We first bonded in the workplace and over many, many baskets of rolls at The Texas. The bonding continues from afar over things like Friday Night Lights, RW/RR Challenges, SYTYCD...you know, the finer things in life.

This morning I was thinking about how habit rules my life without me even realizing it. And I would imagine that I'm not alone. This thought came to me today after I had some laptop trouble at work. Between the hours of 8:30 and 10:00am I received the blue screen of death upwards of seven times always followed by my computer automatically restarting. Not exactly ideal in terms of productivity. After my new IT (best) friend took a look he announced, "I think you might have a virus".

Perfect. My computer caught the swine flu.

Thirty minutes later and I had my very own "loaner laptop" to get me through the day. I had my email. I had the Internet. I should have been set, right?

WRONG.

I may as well have been my 85 year-old grandfather trying to figure this thing out. I had no links saved as favorites. I struggled to remember passwords. There were no contacts auto-populating in my emails. My shortcuts to files were no longer on my desktop. Not to mention the loaner introduced me to the world of Vista.

Oh boy. I was lost.

And this led my mind to wander through all of the habits I've fallen into on a daily basis and marvel at how my life could get so turned upside down by the slightest unbalance in my routine. Like the time a weekly report at work got delayed by ONE day and it felt as though the world would end. What?! You mean I have to analyze this data on THURSDAY? But that's what I do on WEDNESDAY! Can. Not. Compute. System. Crashing. And then my head exploded.

So I've decided to give myself a challenge - feel free to join me. The challenge is this: To simply be more aware. To live consciously instead of just going through the motions. And to possibly throw myself a curve ball every so often.

We'll start off slow. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll buy a different flavor of Vitamin Water. Or I might just sleep on the left side of the bed tonight instead of the right. Or if I'm feeling really crazy, I'll analyze that data on Friday instead of Wednesday.

But let's not get too carried away.

You can find me here: http://thehardestthingandtherightthing.blogspot.com/
(And let's not judge the name of my blog, okay? We'll just let that one slide.)

If you have a spare 31 minutes (and 42 seconds)

Or even if you don't. Just listen.

And while you're at it you could listen to the second one down. And if you like it, maybe even this.

Conversation of the Day

The day isn’t over yet, but this has been my favorite conversation of the day so far. I was listening to an album a friend recommended while IMing my thoughts about it.

Me: Where have I heard Magalenha? SO familiar.
AB: Probably the last time you were in Brazil.
Me: That was the perfect response.

In related news, I was bopping along to that song a bit later, without fully realizing that I was chair dancing (remember how I'm afraid the rhythm will take me over?), when my boss was suddenly behind me tapping on my desk.

Busted.

And awkward.

Nice to See You Again

I've been thinking of some things I want to share with you, Internet. Life's been a bit frantic for the past while, but I've taken notes (literally) as these tidbits have popped into brain.

You're welcome.

+I spent a lot of time in PowerPoint this week. Too much time. As I was trying to make my slides more visually appealing (or "sexify" them as one co-worker called it) I remembered that at one point in my life I wanted to go into graphic design. I'm completely void of creativity so I'm not quite sure why I ever got this idea into my head. The end.

+Dilemma: I hate answering my desk phone when I don't know who is calling (caller ID only gets me so far) but I equally hate having unheard voicemail. They show up in my email inbox and my OCD kicks in. I received four VMs within 20 minutes on Wednesday and my head nearly exploded.

+I worked close to 20 hours in one day earlier this week. A new personal record and one that I wish I hadn't broken. But when I got to thinking about it I thought "Maybe I should consider rocking a few "Power Days" a week and then taking the rest off". And then I realized there are people who do that and they're called doctors.

+On Wednesday all I ate was four bags of chips. FOUR BAGS. Here's how something so ridiculous happened....

Lunch was ordered in for us during one of our three big client presentations, but since I was one of two presenters I couldn't eat during the meeting. After it was over I went to get food and the tuna sandwich was my only option. No big deal. I've been known eat tuna on occasion. But when I got back to my desk I realized that real tuna is different than canned tuna. I tried two bites, saw some weird things, and just couldn't do it. Thus, two bags of chips for lunch.

We ended up working very late that night as well. Around 9pm I went scavenging for food and found two leftover bags of chips in the conference room.

Chips for lunch and dinner. Being and adult is fun.

+Remember when the Internet was called "The Net"? I'm thinking about bringing it back. Tonight I used "surfing The Net" in a sentence.

+I ate Skittles & Diet Coke for dinner one night (are you concerned about my health yet?) and by 8:30 I was feeling kind of sick. I announced, "Guys, I've eaten so much candy I'm to the point where I just want to go brush my teeth." They didn't know what to do with that one. Sometimes I forget that my co-workers know a slightly less spastic version of me.

+A co-worker received a demo CD from an aspiring musician cab driver earlier this week so we played it while we were slaving away one night. I wish I could play it for you right now because it would make your night. Trust me. With lyrics like "I want to go to Australia. Shrimps on the barbie, chicks on the beach." you really can't go wrong.

+This morning I almost missed my bus stop because I was asleep. I don't know what made me think sleeping on the bus was a good idea when I continue to sleep through three alarms in the morning. Especially with headphones in to block out noise and my narcolepsy as a passenger in any vehicle, any time of day.

+Warning: This is a bathroom story. (Side note: I think of SO MANY things to post about while in the bathroom. Be grateful for the restraint I exercise in not posting 98% of them.)

I have a favorite bathroom stall. Is that strange? I don't really think so. But today when I tried to hit up my fave I was met with a kid that was left at the pool. Are you picking up what I'm laying down?

First of all, gross.
Second of all, are we two years old?

Regardless, my first reaction turn around and use another stall. Then I thought, what if I pretend I never saw the kid left at the pool, use another stall and then run into someone as I'm leaving who then tries to use my favorite stall, sees the kid left at the pool and thinks it was me? This was simply a risk I could not take so I sent the kid home.

I guess that's what happens when you care about what other people think of you. And your bathroom etiquette.

+I had a work event this evening and afterward met some friends for dinner a few blocks away. As I was walking to the restaurant I met a homeless man on the street. He told me to have a good evening and I smiled at him. He then said, "Oh! I got the dimples. Pretty dimples." Why is it that I can't manage to get a compliment from anyone other than old men on the bus or homeless men on the street?

+Tomorrow is Friday. I get to see Brandi Carlile for free. I can sleep in on Saturday. Next week is a three day week. All is well.

Glen, I'll see you soon.

PS - How awesome would that be to be waiting in line for a show and have the performer come out into the street and play for you?

Answer: Super awesome.

Ever the Optimist

AS: "Ahhh...I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel!"
Me: "I'll believe it when I see it tomorrow. My dreams have already been shattered once this week."


But can you blame me? It's nearly Midnight, I'm just finishing up at the office and I've already worked 47 hours this week. It's only Wednesday.

Yup. I'll believe it when I see it.

Here's my heart, O take and seal it

I heard this version of the song today on a TV show* and fell in love. Immediately.



*Just when I thought FNL couldn't get any better. It did.

Conversation of the Day

Chats McGee resurfaced this evening!

Chats McGee: Dude, are you at work?
Me: Sure am.
CM: Nice, that's bad ass.
Me: I wasn't considering myself very bad ass tonight, but now I will!
CM: You kidding? That's money, I'm this close to getting dressed and coming into work. That's how bad ass it is.
Me: Well, all the cool kids ARE doing it.
CM: I KNOW, which is why I feel conflicted for not being there, cause I "thought" I was one of the cool kids. Going to go contemplate. Okay, get back to work, otherwise you'll lose your street cred.
CM: (really high right now)
CM: (your street cred I mean, not me)
Me: Thanks for clarifying...I was curious, but I’m too "busy" working to contemplate your drug use.

Rehab

I previously mentioned how my cat is into eating things he shouldn't. It started out innocently enough with a few hair ties here and there. Sometimes a drawstring on a hoodie. And maybe yesterday when I went to put on my Chucks I could only lace them through half of the holes and then tie on a gnawed off piece of shoelace to another piece so it was long enough to tie.

Those things are kind of understandable. Cats play with strings and all of those things are string-like. Do most cats full-on EAT the strings they play with? Probably not. But we already knew that Max was "special" in so many ways. (Do I need to remind you that he CHEWS GUM?)

Tonight things got out of hand.

Exhibit A:That's Lindsay and that's her half-eaten shirt. I think he's addicted to cotton.

Anyone know of a good kitty rehab?

Confession.

I just listened to John Mayer’s new CD on Rhapsody.

But rest assured, I didn’t enjoy it.

Miracles Do Exist

Today is my lucky day. I decided to grab some M&Ms from the vending machine, you know, for dinner (don’t judge me) and a miracle happened. Possibly even 1.5 miracles.

I put in my dollar and the screen flashed “$1.00”, acknowledging my offering. As I punched in E8 I held my breath, like I always do, hoping that they wouldn’t get stuck. (Side note: Did I ever post about the time my M&Ms got stuck and I had to coerce a co-worker into helping me shake the vending machine? And as we were hitting it we failed to remember that anyone coming or going on the elevator could see us through the glass. Oopsy daisy.)

But back to today.

I held my breath and watched as the package started slowing down. It was on the verge of being stuck. But I was quick on my feet this time and shook the machine before the package had time to settle in to the stuck position. Miracle 0.5.

After I pulled my delicious dinner from the machine I reached into the coin drop for my change. None to be found. I hit the change return. Nothing. As I started to walk away, the screen caught my eye. It was still lit up with “$1.00”.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

I turned around and walked back to the machine and punched E6, because why not? And lo and behold a package of Peanut M&Ms began to descend. And (there’s more!) I got my 25 cents in change back!

Miracle, I tell you.

I’m saving the miracle package of M&Ms for a rainy day. Or for later this week (read: tomorrow) when I’m working late again and need dinner.

Today's Lesson

This evening Lindsay and I were discussing some of the frustrations we've experienced over the last few days. As the conversation was winding down I let out a sigh of defeat to which she replied, "Life was easier when we didn't have friends".

She has a point.

Nevers

I've been known to frequent Dooce.com. And today she posted a question from her community that asked people what their three "nevers" are in life. I read through some of the responses and a few of them made me laugh out loud.

• Never eat meat from a gas station.
• Never chop up fruits and vegetables in the kitchen while you are naked.
• Never date a guy who shows up to your house in an El Camino. If he can't make a commitment between a car or a truck what hope do you really have?

I actually don't have experience with any of these situations, but I've taken note.

My Repair

For some reason I've felt the need to put this song on repeat today.

Lists: Better Than an Eating Disorder

When my life gets a little crazy, I find that making a good list helps me feel like I have control over something. Some people choose eating disorders to gain control. I choose lists. (That wasn't funny, was it?)

+I'm ridiculously behind on TV. And when I say behind I mean that I just don't watch it. I know, I know...my priorities are completely out of whack. But have no fear, Grey's Anatomy is something there is always time for.

+I have a new bus boyfriend. One day I'll tell him. For now he'll just be known as "Cute Bus Boy Who Reads". Maybe my standards are low, but I'm impressed by a man that reads for fun.

+Halloween. It happened. I was stressed for days about figuring out a costume and where did all the stress get me? Nowhere. Finally Farah and I decided to be zombie-ish things (an hour after the party had started) but after Cara did my eye make-up the plan changed and I decided to go as an olive. AN OLIVE. Oh boy. To make matters worse, I never took off the half-way finished zombie-ish make-up. So not only was I an olive (Really? An olive?!) but I guess in the end I was a zombie olive.

I know I like to embarrass myself here, but don't be expecting me to post any photos of the disaster. Although, there is one on Facebook and I've been debating for two days about whether or not to untag myself...

Moral of the story: Better luck next year.

+I might have to stop eating M&Ms and/or Skittles because my OCD kicks in and I feel like a crazy person. It's as if the earth might explode if I eat two greens and only one orange. Clearly it would be necessary to even it up with another orange. Even numbers are my friend...and yours.

+A month ago I had a brief love affair with Veronica Mars and watched all three seasons in two weeks. People have been telling me for at least two years that I would love it, but I resisted. And I was shown the error of my ways. Logan was a dreamboat. Albeit an awkward dreamboat.

+I've only seen 1.5 episodes this season, but The Biggest Loser still makes me cry.

+My bus takes a new route on the way to work and instead of driving down 2nd Ave, we take 3rd Ave. It's amazing the difference one block can make, because YIKES. The crazies rock Third Avenue bright and early. It's almost enough to make me stop sleeping on the bus. Almost.

+Emily spent a few days in Seattle and I wish she would just move here already. If she did I would never be short on laughter in my life.

+My job has been on the stressful side lately and I'm not the expert at dealing with stress. One might say I'm a novice. Today I let life get to me and had a mid-afternoon breakdown in the bathroom. No crying involved; just some deep breathing and talking to myself. The usual. But after that I decided that I needed some spiritual uplifting and went to Institute. Definitely a good choice, but unfortunately I wasn't able to escape all that I had hoped.

+I got my haircut on Saturday and I think it might be safe to say, for the first time in nearly a year, that it's not too short. Let's see how long this "growing it out" phase lasts.

+My cat eats all kinds of strings. Shoelaces, drawstrings on pants and his all-time favorite is a hair-tie. Twice I have pulled a tank top out of my laundry basked to find that an entire strap had been eaten. It's a problem.

+I might be complaining about my few weeks of stress but lots of fun things have been happening as well. Maybe I'll rock a photo post in the near future. If you're lucky.