the goose is getting fat

It's officially Christmastime in the HowardLymanCarrubba household.
And the decorations are out to prove it.

Including this guy.

I'm watching you [watching me], Santa.

conversation of the day

AB: You're eating that apple like a squirrel.
Me: Oh yeah? How do you eat your apples?
AB: Like a man.

For the record, I'm not sad that I don't eat apples like a man.

after the storm

So, we've already established that the city of Seattle does not know how to deal with storms. For evidence, look no further than my 3.5 hour commute home on the bus and SB's nightmare of being trapped on the freeway, covering 6 miles in 7 hours. SEVEN HOURS, people.

I decided before I went to bed on Monday night that there was no way I was going to the office the next day. So I didn't. I stayed in sweats and worked from my bed all day. It was much more productive than it sounds. In the evening, after receiving reports that the roads still weren't awesome, I decided to continue my time in my bed and read a book. The entire book.

Wednesday morning rolled around and I knew our offices were closing early, so I decided that since working from home had been successful on Tuesday, I would do it again. And by "from home" I mean "from bed".

But you guys, by mid-day I was going crazy. I had spent 42 hours in my house and I was dying to get out.

The first step to freedom was cleaning off the car.

So I prepared.
Hoodie. Coat. Gloves. Boots.

*Please note that I didn't change out of the sweat pants. Hot.

I had realized that the scraper was INSIDE the car, which was covered in the snow I was going out to remove, so I improvised with a cookie sheet. I'm brilliant. There, I said it.

As it turns out, my gloves were made more for looking cute and less for protecting from wet/cold, but my cookie sheet-shovel idea did the trick and my car was clean in no time.

I backed down my steep, narrow, snow-covered driveway without crashing into any cars at the bottom, which was my one goal.

From this experience I learned two things:
1. 44 consecutive hours indoors is too much.
2. Cookie sheets can double as snow removal devices.

Noted.

And just for funsies, here is some footage of a street in Seattle from Monday night.

identity crisis

Today Seattle got a little confused and thought it was one of those places that has a real winter.
Silly Seattle.

I woke up to big flakes falling.
I'm not going to lie, it made my heart pretty happy. [I happen to love snow.]
I was surprised to see this much snow on the back porch and I gladly rocked my boots, hat, gloves and scarf.

I made it to work without any issues and went about my day. But people kept leaving early [we're talking Noon] because the "roads were bad" and I kept thinking they were making a big deal out of nothing. However, after my final presentation of the day was over at 3:30, it looked to be snowing hard and I thought I'd try to beat the rush and finish out my work from the comfort of my bed home.

To be clear, I left my office at 3:30.

I stood on the bus stop for an hour. It was 28 degrees. I've never been more grateful for boots, a hat, gloves and a scarf in my life. The bus finally showed up, mere seconds after I posted on FB that I would kiss the bus driver if/when the bus finally showed up. I guess the universe just wanted that to happen. [It didn't.] We made it through downtown without incident, other than the fact that the bus was so full that the driver had to stop picking people up.

And then this is where the nightmare began.

We turned onto the street that was going to take us straight on 'til morning and then just stopped moving. The light would go from green, to yellow, to red over and over and we moved inches each time.

It was maddening.

And then I began to think about how I was stuck and it's possible that a smidgen of claustrophobia set in. It was now close to 5:30pm and it was in the midst of those thoughts that I wrote this.

But instead of losing my mind, I decided to turn on some Sufjan Stevens Christmas and take a little nap. It was helpful, but when I woke up 20 minutes later, I found myself nearly in the same spot. Not ideal.

My bus driver eventually got into the left lane, which was the most brilliant idea he's ever had [I'm sure of it] and we started covering more ground. We finally passed the road that led to the freeway and from then on we didn't have to worry about traffic, just icy roads. I'll take it.

After a snowy hike through the neighborhood, I ended up walking through my front door at 7:00pm.  I was very grateful to be home and feeling bad for the people still still on the freeway for several hours after that.

Before I crawled into bed tonight, this was the view from my front door.

Looks like I'm working from home tomorrow.
And it also looks like Seattle hasn't learned it's lesson from the 2008 debacle.

---------------------------------------------------
In other news, this guy was preaching on the corner while I waited for the bus.

He appeared to be preaching from the dictionary. That's a new approach.

winner.

Once upon a time I planned a pie contest at work.

And then forgot about it.

But! I remembered just in time to throw together a pie the night before. I thought it would be best to participate in my own contest. As it turned out, the people liked it and I won best overall pie.

And it was then that I regretted promising only bragging rights and high fives to the winners.

Jingle Balls

Yeah, you read that right.

Looks like I've never been happier.

whip my hair back and forth

So, this is what the hub bub is about.



And for those of you who haven't seen the original version.

PEOPLE got it right

That's right friends, it's time again for People's Sexiest Man Alive.

Last year, they clearly made the wrong choice and went with Johnny Depp.

But this year? Ryan Reynolds. Good choice.

our house, is a very, very, very fine house

LL: I need to go to the craft store.
Me: [silence]
LL: What? I need to get stuff for my cornucopia!


But I can't say anything, Internet, because she crafted me into an owl.

So, bring on the felt leaves and cornucopias!

if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball

Tonight's FHE was dodgeball. When asked if I was going, I gave the following explanation.

One of two things would happen.

Scenario 1: I get hit in the face with the ball and am out immediately.
Scenario 2: I fly under the radar by never really touching the ball. Then, somehow, I'm the last one standing on my team. Then I get hit in the face with the ball and I'm out.

Either way it's less than ideal.

Oh, and also? We're not 14.

conversation of the day

Me: My roommates and I ate nearly an entire bag of cinnamon gummi bears over a two hour period.
Co-Worker: Psh. That's amateur hour.
Co-Worker: No, really. That's weak. I can eat SO much more candy than that.


Well, I wasn't bragging. But, strangely, I now feel better about the situation.

guaranteed or your money back

I made the rounds tonight to return my year old purchases. Nearly everyone thought I was crazy BUT, crazy or not, I came out $183 richer in the end.

And I'm determined to stop hoarding.

We'll see.

what not to wear

You guuuuuys. I think it's time to admit that I have a problem. I've never been through any sort of 12 step program, but I think that's where it all starts.

Here's the thing: I hate shopping. I loath digging through racks of clothes. Trying things on is on my list of Top Five Least Favorite Things. I have no vision of what an article of clothing can become - if, when it's on my body, it's not supposed to look exactly how it does on the rack, forget about it.

But when it rains, it pours.

In those rare instances when I do find myself in the mood to shop, I go overboard and buy everything that even remotely fits my body. Because who knows when I'll ever want to buy another article of clothing?! I mean, it could be never. There's always that chance.

Last week I spent an embarrassing amount of money at Sephora. And last night I brought along a personal shopper* to look for boots and I ended up buying, well, boots and then some.

The good news: I had $225 in Nordstrom gift cards that I'd been hoarding over the past two years (literally two years) so the boots were more than free.
The bad news: Every non-Nordstrom purchase I made was not free.

So, in order to justify my recent purchases I began thinking of everything I had that I could take back. I made a mental list....
I've had a set of sheets in my trunk since July that I need to take back.
I'm planning to take back 1/3 of my Sephora purchases from last week.
The cardigan I bought tonight is nearly identical to one I already have. That can go back.

Then I remembered I had a pair of jeans sitting in my closet that I was supposed to have hemmed, but never did. A YEAR AGO. They're still in the bag with the tags on them. Surely I can convince the store to still take them back, I thought.

(This is where things get a little out of control.)

I came home and pulled the year-old jeans out of the closet. Except they weren't alone. With them I also found an H&M bag with two shirts and a scarf. An Old Navy bag with another pair of jeans. And a Target bag with swimsuit bottoms. All unworn. All with tags. And receipts.

Guys, I think I'm a hoarder. I'm pretty sure that's what this means.

Who forgets about $160 worth of clothing just sitting in their closet (FOR A YEAR) waiting to be taken back? A hoarder, that's who. Get me on that A&E show!

Moral of the Story: I have a problem. An intervention will likely be necessary. Looking forward to it.

----------------------------------------------------

But can we talk for a minute about my new boots? I literally fell in love with them. The saleswoman opened the box and I couldn't wait to put them on my feet.

I was hoping no one had noticed the way my eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning and how I tossed aside the boot I was holding to get my hands on them, but my personal shopper saw it all. And she called me out.

The best part is having zero buyer's remorse because they were technically free. High five.





*Having someone pulling things off the rack and telling you what to try on is THE BEST way to shop. I might always need a personal shopper with me in the future.

conversation of the day

Me: I just spent the evening shopping. And I went to institute on Tuesday.
LL: Who are you?
Me: I changed while you were gone last week.
LL: Clearly. I didn't realize I was the bottleneck.

a salesman's dream.

Tonight I had a work "meeting" at Sephora. I know, life is hard, right?

All three of us got our make-up done and before my guy even started putting anything on my face, I knew I was going to buy it all. It just had to be done. Not to mention he kept telling me how beautiful I was (Note to Self: Go to Sephora when you need a self-esteem boost.) which was an added bonus.

On top of that, it actually looked really great when he was finished. All he said was, "Which of the products we used today would you like?" and suddenly I was carrying a basket full to the counter. I'm the ideal customer.

I will not admit to you, dear internet, how much money I actually spent. However, I will say that I'm currently experiencing buyer's remorse so some of it may make its way back to the store.

But only some.

I never stood a chance.

conversation of the day

This is what living in my house is like.

CC: I bought this shirt. It's a little low...
Me: Nothing wrong with showing a little cleave.
ET: Those are words to live by.

my boyfriend's back

It's no secret that I don't hate routine. Routine tucks me in at night and sings a sweet lullaby as I drift off to sleep. (What does that even mean? No one knows.) While 2010 has brought progress in terms of stepping out of my comfort zone, I'm still me.

And one of the things that makes me ME is the fact that sometimes I eat the same thing for lunch. Nearly every day. At one point in time my lunch of convenience choice was Quiznos. I ate there so often that I never had to say what I wanted. In fact, my order was told to me by Quiznos Guy as soon as I stepped up to the counter.

Having a "usual" is a strange mix of awesome and embarrassing.

But I broke up with Quiznos a while ago. So imagine my surprise when I walked into Subway last week with a co-worker and saw Quiznos Guy behind the counter. At Subway. I only had time to mumble, "I know this guy" to my co-worker before I was greeted by his smile.

QG: Hi! How are you?
Me: Good! How are you?
QG: Good. I work here now.
Me: I see that. How long have you been here?
QG: Two weeks.
Me: Great.
[order sandwich]
QG: No tomato, no onion, right?!
Me: Yup.
QG: How was your weekend?

My co-worker, having zero context, just watched in amazement. As we walked away she said, "What just happened?".

Even though I broke up with Quiznos, I didn't have to break up with my sandwich maker. He's learning the Subway version of "the usual" and soon it will be just like old times. It's perfect.

hoo hoo

Halloween.
Remember how it is the holiday I'm the worst at?
Remember how last year I accidentally dressed up as a Zombie Olive?
I'm happy to report that things went better this year thanks to my crafting superstar roommate.

A few weeks ago I got an email from LL that contained a photo and a one sentence message:
"We could make this..."

For a minute I thought she was crazy. Then I realized she was a genius. And then I got excited because I had an idea for a costume! AN IDEA. The hardest part.

She made it happen.

There were even feathers involved.

I was in a meeting at work watching YouTube videos with co-workers (yes, we work hard) when I had my own stroke of genius in the form of a costume idea for AB. And our very own Antoine Dodsen was born.

SU put her own craftiness to the test by sewing a skunk costume and Butter got some good use out of her very legit taekwondo getup.

We hit up the famous Halloween dance party and danced the night away. Sadly, I have very few pictures of the happenings.

And the night ended with Butter escorting Adam to his car. Without getting out of her own. We keep things classy around here.

My favorite quote of the night came from SU during our post-party recap.
SU: "Your hair looks good like that. Even if some of it is stuck to your head from sweat."
Again, keeping it classy.

Overall, two thumbs up for Halloween 2010.


PS. Did I ever show you the photo of the 2009 zombie olive? Probably not. But it's been a year and I've dealt with it, so here it is.