Laying It All Out There

It's been a while since I've produced a list full of randoms. You're welcome.

• I saw Crazy Lady on the bus again today. I really can't think of a more clever name for her. I'll take away one Crazy Point because she was actually talking to another passenger, not just the air. But then she got an additional two Crazy Points for bringing her pillow (in a hot pink, satin pillow case) with her on the bus. AND she still placed the garbage bag on the seat before sitting down, yet had no problem setting down her pillow, THAT SHE RESTS HER FACE ON, directly on the seat. No worries - still off the charts crazy in my book.
• While we're talking about the bus - I had to run for it again today. I made it.
  
• Yesterday I said, "By my calculation" in a conversation at work on got laughed at. I reflected and realized just how nerdy it is and came to the conclusion that I deserved to be laughed at. That lead me to think about all the times I had used the phrase that day and thought that maybe someone, somewhere decided to start a drinking game based on my use of the phrase.
• My trainer had to get his own trainer in order to lose 20 lbs. Why have I been paying him for the last 12 months again?
• I totally enjoy Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Sincerely. They are straight up ridiculous and I love it. Don't judge me. *coughemilycough*
• Just because I'm at home doesn't mean I should always say what I'm thinking. Recently Lindsay and I were watching TV when a Mac vs. PC commercial came on:

Mac: Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC: And I'm a PC.
Me: Hey! PC's lost weight!
Linds: [No words. Just laughter.]
Me: What? He has!

• I used to get to work by 8:20 at the very latest, but lately I've been taking the next bus and getting in at 9:00. It happens at least 2 days a week. I just can't pull myself out of bed in the morning.
  
• Adam Lambert is 100% creepy. He's what my nightmares are made of. His tongue is gross.
  
• I heart everything about Kris Allen on American Idol except for the fact that his name is spelled with a "K". It's just how I feel.
  
• Last night I went to a work dinner where the sales rep sang part of Jamie Foxx's song "Blame It"...you know, "a-a-a-alcohol". By the end of the night he had had a little too much "a-a-a-alcohol" and looked at me with glazed over eyes and randomly said, "You're funny".
  
• Every time I go to a work dinner I have to make sure and study the menu online before I get there. I typically have no idea what any of the menu items are.
  
• Last Saturday I didn't get out of bed until 3pm. It was glorious. It might just happen again this weekend.
  
• Breaking News: Six probable Swine Flu cases in WA.
• I sometimes have to stop myself from saying "totes magoats". Have you seen I Love You, Man? If not, you might be really confused right now.
• My parents are coming to town in one week! Yay!
• In The Biggest Loser news - Felipe went home this week. He was really the last person I could stand so now I'm not sure who to root for. Oh, and someone should take Jillian's leather jacket and burn it.
• Have I mentioned that my sister is having twins? TWINS. The niece and nephew count will go from zero to five in 15 months.
• This morning when my alarm went off the first thought I had was If you can make it through the next hour you can sleep for 30 minutes on the bus. Is that normal?
• Loaves of cinnamon sugar bread may have been sent directly from heaven.
• My cat just fell asleep standing up on the couch next to me. He was waiting for the perfect time to make his move to crawl up on my shoulder, but apparently couldn't last that long.

Conversations of the Day

Today I got an email from a friend just letting me know that she found my blog and that she enjoyed it. (Yay!) I replied and promised that it's "not always just about Brandi Carlile and random daily conversations".

I guess I might have lied. But I really believed it at the time.

Conversation #1
I was in a slightly awkward brainstorming meeting today where the leader told us that if we didn't start spewing out ideas she had a stockpile of brainstorming games she would force us to play. By the way, I loathe cheesy games. Her threat didn't light the fire under any of us and there were long pauses of awkward silence.

After one particularly long period of silence this happened. Internet, I give to you the resurfacing of Chats McGee.

[Very long, very awkward silence. Everyone staring at the table.]
Chats McGee: Uhh...Didn't you say something about having games to play?
[My head snaps around and lasers start shooting out of my eyes in Chats McGee's general direction.]
Me: Seriously, Chats McGee?
CM: Well...I mean...Uhh....
[The painful meeting continued. No games were played.]

I got back to my desk and received the following IM:

CM: PS - Sorry about the activity suggestion during the meeting. I couldn't stand the silence/crickets. Was awkward and I needed something. Anything.
Me: No worries. You would have been in more trouble had we actually played one of the games.
CM: At least we're comfortable enough with each other that you can give me the "What the eff Chats McGee?" look and we're still cool.
Me: Very true.

Conversation #2
There are a lot of catch phrases in my industry and sometimes I think to myself, If I have to hear you say [insert phrase here] one more time I'm going poke my eyes out. Or yours.

There is one phrase in particular that is rubbing me the wrong way as of late and it's being overly-used by one person in particular. After my weekly conference call with The Offender the following conversation ensued with a few co-workers:

Me: Next week we're placing bets on the number of times she says it. Who wants to be in charge of keeping a tally?
L: I say we make a drinking game out of it. I'll line up shots at my desk and every time she says it we'll drink one. We'll all be wasted five minutes into the call.
Me: What will I take shots of?
[Thinking.]
D: I've got it...Regular Coke.
Me: I like it! Regular Coke is really living on the edge.

Third Time in One Week

On Wednesday after work Lindsay and I hit the road for Spokane. Brandi Carlile was playing a show with the Spokane Symphony so of course we made the trip. And for those of you that are asking yourselves if she recognizes us or knows our names, the answer is no. And for those of you that think we're ridiculous fans, well, I can't dispute that, BUT there are fans that are far more ridiculous than us. Trust me.

I spent Thursday and Friday working from Lindsay's parent's home. This was my "office" for those two days.

The show was Thursday night and of course it was fantastic. Lindsay's parents came as well as her brother and his girlfriend. It's always fun to go to shows with new people!

Katie Herzig opened the show. She was one of the artists on the cruise and you might remember her from my Ten Out of Tenn post. No? Well, she was the reason we went. Brandi said they met on the cruise and "fell in summer camp love" so she invited her out to open.
There were few things about this show that I loved.
1. Brandi was rockin' a suit. Sure, she still had on the vest underneath and was barefoot, but it was still strange to see.
2. She told a funny story about recording with Elton John last weekend. I love the part where she says Elton looked "super handsome and awesome".

3. I may have fallen in love with a new song, Pride and Joy. I've heard it a lot of times, but it's never really hit me before like it did that night. Take a listen if you'd like.

4. My number one favorite moment of the night was after she finished singing The Story she turned around to face the symphony while playing the last measure of the song. The audience was already clapping, but while her back was turned the entire theater gave her a standing ovation. When she turned back around and saw the room on their feet she had the most genuine look of surprise on her face. At one point it even looked like she might have teared up a little bit. She's played that song a million times - it's her big finish - but it was just so impressive to me that she was truly surprised at the audience's reaction.

One other noteworthy event of the trip was that I didn't fall asleep once on the trip back Friday night. That's pretty much unheard of for me and I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the combination of the sweet tunes, Diet Coke and a Peanut Butter Twix.

Salt Lake City Weekend

It's kind of a long story about how last weekend came to fruition so I'll spare you the details and just say that I ended up in Salt Lake City for three days. And it was good. I was running around all weekend, but it was so great to see everyone again! I don't miss Utah as a place very often, but I definitely miss the people there a lot.

You will also find that I discovered collages for this post. One word: BRILLIANT.

On Friday I spent the morning with my sister-in-law and nephew, lunched with Cambo, hit up Ikea with my sister-in-law & nephew (an adventure all of its own), dinnered with Linds, Em & Chels, spent the evening with the Keith's and into the wee hours of the morning with Brian & Amanda.

I adore Emily & Chelsea and they never cease to produce an adventure. We hit up Firehouse Pizza and topped it off with a photo shoot outside. I just laughed the whole time - shocker.
I spent the evening with Tatum and her family. I finally got to meet her little Owen! He puked on me within the first five minutes but I still think he's adorable! And check out his killer hair. Gavin is still a genius child and I was happy to find that he remembered me. I mean, how could you forget the woman who lived with you for a month and taught you the phrase "drop a deuce"?
Saturday morning I got up early (shocking, I know) and met up with Jill and Lindsay for breakfast at our favorite spot in North Salt Lake. It was great to see her and catch up briefly on what's been happening for the last year.
I was able to spend some time with Audrey (who is having a baby girl!) and her family. Her son Oliver is totally adorable. We kept trying to get him to say "Steph" and always came out as "Guk", but he was so cute that it didn't even matter.
Lindsay and I made quick trip up to Layton to see Carlee before the Brandi Carlile show that night. I had yet to see her new digs and she had a "special surprise" for us. We had introduced her and her friends to the joy that is Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights) so they made us these killer shirts in return.

Did I mention Lindsay's sweet ride? She picked me up from the airport in that thing and I could not stop laughing.

Saturday night was all about Brandi Carlile. The show was at a new little venue call The State Room. It only holds 300 people so we were able to get front and center. We were so close that when she came to the edge of the stage to sing Dying Day the row in front me moved to either side and Brandi was stomping her boots right in my face. LOVED IT. Check out the video.

The show was amazing. Brandi had just flown in from Vegas after spending the day recording a song for the new record with Elton John so the energy was good. It was fun to be able to see the show with Em & Chelsea. They love Brandi just as much as I do but I've never been able to see a show with them. Afterward we got a couple pictures. She wouldn't participate in flipping off the camera because she, "learned a long time ago not to do anything she doesn't want to show up on the internet." Smart girl.

Sidenote: Flipping off the camera just comes with the territory of hanging out with these ladies. It's all in good fun.

Sunday was a beautiful day. I was able to sleep in and then hit up church with G&L and the nephew. He was crawling all over and keeping us entertained. He still would barely crack a smile for me, but had at least stopped looking at me like I was from another planet.

In the afternoon I met up with Emily and Chelsea for a free Brandi show at the Graywhale near the U. It was sunny and 80 degrees and a perfect way to spend the afternoon. The set was only 30 minutes but still a lot of fun.

My trip ended by playing Rockband with my brother and sister-in-law and her family. I tried the drums for the first time and kind of loved it.

It was a jam-packed weekend, but I'm so glad it all came together at the last minute!

On the bus today...

...I saw the craziest person I've seen to date.

Picture this...a woman in her 40's with her brown hair pulled back in a bun, wearing black from head to toe except for her white gym socks, which she's wearing with flip flops, black gloves on a 70 degree day and sunglasses. Got that image? She's a gem.

I walked on the bus behind her and I took a seat across the aisle. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she pulled out a garbage bag and placed it over the seat (after a few minutes of struggle) laughing a giggling along the way.

Then she began talking to herself. And not in a whisper.

At first I thought maybe she had an earpiece in and was talking to someone on the phone when her "conversation" went something like this:

Not Planet Soul again! I don't want to listen to Planet Soul. We always listen to Planet Soul.
Planet. Planet. Planet Soul.
Planet. Planet. Planet Soul.

But I quickly realized that she was not on the phone and also realized that I needed to write this down. Yes, I took notes.

Some of the other chatter went like this:

Balloons. Candy dish. Party. Balloons. It's like ambrosia! An ambrosial mix.

I want to go to Hong Kong. What's it like there? What's it like in Hong Kong? I want to go to Shanghai. Shanghai.

It has a sidecar on it! And it's made of tin foil! [Laughter.] A tin scooter.

It's been a while since I've had a good bus adventure. I guess when the sun comes out the crazies do as well.

Whatever Gets You Through the Day

This probably won't be funny to anyone reading this, but it's conversations like this one that get me through the day. This one happened over instant messenger.

L: can you seriously not hear him slurping in air?

Me: i don't think so

Me: ...

Me: maybe?

Me: no

Me: i hear nothing

L: how were you able to hear Carrie Underwood coming from my headphones and not the slurping of the air???

Me: carrie underwood was LOUD

L: whatevs

Me: i just heard a sniffle

L: you're just not listening hard enough

Me: and maybe a nose wipe

Me: i'm totally listening!!

L: like now

Me: oh...just then!

L: yeah!

Me: i heard it

L: I'm not going crazy

Me: i guess not

Me: is he eating?

L: no!

L: that's what I thought at first

Me: is he whisper singing?

L: maybe?

Me: because i sometimes hear him do that

Just a Dancing Fool

You know how sometimes you're out and about somewhere and you happen to see someone that piques your interest and you realize you should stop watching them, but you can't?

Written out like that makes it sound extra creepy, doesn't it? Creepy or not - it happens.

For me it often happens at the gym. And sometimes on the bus. So, pretty much when I'm trapped somewhere.

Today it was a man on the treadmill in front of me. He was older - I would say in his seventies - and had the speed on the treadmill pretty slow, had some music rockin' in his headphones and was kind of dancing. It went something like:

step, step, step, knee
step, step, step, knee
step, knee, step, knee, etc.

Then there was some freestyling which I can't even begin to describe. It incorporated the arms a little more. I was so curious about this older man with the sweet treadmill moves that I couldn't stop watching.

And what I really wanted to know was what he was listening to.

Conversations of the Day

Maybe someday I'll post something other than random conversations. But someday is not today.

Conversation#1: Between co-workers in a meeting.
CW1: I've got a sh%tload of things going on right now.
CW2: Umm...Do you think you can quantify "sh%tload" for me? I mean, are we talking elephant size?
CW1: [Ponders] I'd say it's more like hippo.

Conversation #2: While walking with a co-worker behind two dirty guys on the way to a work dinner.
Me: Ugh! What's that smell?
CW: That would be marijuana.
Me: Seriously? In broad daylight just walking down the street?
CW: Oh stop worrying - you're not going to get high...

Conversation#3: At my desk talking to a co-worker.
CW: Did you hear FNL is coming back for two more seasons?
Me: Of course I heard! Didn't I Facebook about it?....Or maybe I just blogged it.
CW: [Shrugs shoulders]
Me: What, you mean to tell me you don't spend time reading all of my Facebook updates?

Conversation of the Day

This conversation happened while Lindsay and I were carrying in groceries and I happened to notice she was struggling a bit after running a 15k that morning.

S: Hey, is there anything I can help you with?
L: You could massage my knee-caps.
[Pause]
S: Uhh....maybe* later?...I was thinking more along the lines of carrying some of your groceries.


*And by "maybe" I mean "not ever".