In the midst of an afternoon email fight with a co-worker (maybe not as much a fight as my expression of him being wrong) I stumbled upon this gem on Carlee's blog.
Carlee and I fought this fight last year and apparently she's looking for a repeat and taking it to the masses. And, if I do say so myself, it's very well written. I think she was on the debate team or something. Anyway, my point is that I was laughing so hard a one point that tears were streaming down my face.
You should really read the whole thing, but here is the sentence that made me pee my pants:
It's the same reason I don't write/sing songs about Hanukkah, soggy bread, sex before marriage, cinnamon or Miracle Whip - I just don't believe in them.
Three of the things on her list I actually DO believe in, but I get the point. And it's also hilarious.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Something To Look Forward To
I'm pretty excited for Juno. Michael Cera is fantastic and, from the previews, it looks like he won't disappoint.I have three words for you: George. Michael. Bluth.
And PLEASE tell me you've seen Superbad. If you haven't, you should. Just ignore all the F-bombs and you'll be fine.
Plus, in Juno he'll be reunited with Jason Bateman. Delightful.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Broken Filter
Last weekend I went to my favorite nail salon for a mani/pedi. After I arrived and picked out my color I was called over to my chair by the "new girl". Apparently it was only her second day there. Lucky me.
Not only was it the worst mani/pedi I've ever gotten, but we actually had this conversation:
As she's massaging (read: barely touching) my leg she points to two quarter-size bruises near my knee and looks up at me.
Me: Oh yeah...I don't know where those came from.
New Girl: Hmmm. Your boyfriend did it?
Me: Ummm...(awkward laughter)...no, I think I just bumped it on something. I bruise really easily.
I glanced over at Lindsay to make sure she had caught the conversation. She had. Let me break this down for you.
1. I don't have a boyfriend that beats me.
2. Why would she automatically assume that just because I have a bruise that it came from my boyfriend?
3. If my boyfriend did beat me, you, new girl, would not be the person I would confide in.
4. If I were to confide in someone at the nail salon it would be Tracy the best acrylic nail tech ever, or Kim my eyebrow waxer, or Lani my favorite pedicure lady. Not you, sucky new girl. Not you.
During the course of my visit she also told me how she doesn't like to wear a lot of clothes because they make her look fat and that she broke her cell phone because she threw it against the wall while fighting with her boyfriend.
New Girl's got issues and I will be avoiding her at all costs.
Not only was it the worst mani/pedi I've ever gotten, but we actually had this conversation:
As she's massaging (read: barely touching) my leg she points to two quarter-size bruises near my knee and looks up at me.
Me: Oh yeah...I don't know where those came from.
New Girl: Hmmm. Your boyfriend did it?
Me: Ummm...(awkward laughter)...no, I think I just bumped it on something. I bruise really easily.
I glanced over at Lindsay to make sure she had caught the conversation. She had. Let me break this down for you.
1. I don't have a boyfriend that beats me.
2. Why would she automatically assume that just because I have a bruise that it came from my boyfriend?
3. If my boyfriend did beat me, you, new girl, would not be the person I would confide in.
4. If I were to confide in someone at the nail salon it would be Tracy the best acrylic nail tech ever, or Kim my eyebrow waxer, or Lani my favorite pedicure lady. Not you, sucky new girl. Not you.
During the course of my visit she also told me how she doesn't like to wear a lot of clothes because they make her look fat and that she broke her cell phone because she threw it against the wall while fighting with her boyfriend.
New Girl's got issues and I will be avoiding her at all costs.
Monday, November 26, 2007
You Can't Make Me
Sometimes I just don't want to blog. Lately that sometimes has been all the time.
In fact, for the past week or two I've been avoiding the computer entirely (except when at work because it might be part of my job to love the internet). For nearly the entire holiday weekend I managed to avoid mindlessly surfing the internet. Not even Perez could lure me in.
What's wrong with me?
In fact, for the past week or two I've been avoiding the computer entirely (except when at work because it might be part of my job to love the internet). For nearly the entire holiday weekend I managed to avoid mindlessly surfing the internet. Not even Perez could lure me in.
What's wrong with me?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Time
Sometimes I wonder why it feels like there is never enough time to get anything done at work. Is it because I'm blogging at 11:00 am? Possibly, but I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it's because meetings are taking over my life.
I looked at my calendar this morning and realized that, of the 9 hours I will be in the office today, I only have 3.5 hours to do work. (No, I was not channeling Big Black there.) My lunch hour is even scheduled and while it does include free food, I hate not being able to get out of here for a while.
My point is, how can I be expected to get any work done when I have no time in the day to actually it? If you figure it out, let me know.
I looked at my calendar this morning and realized that, of the 9 hours I will be in the office today, I only have 3.5 hours to do work. (No, I was not channeling Big Black there.) My lunch hour is even scheduled and while it does include free food, I hate not being able to get out of here for a while.
My point is, how can I be expected to get any work done when I have no time in the day to actually it? If you figure it out, let me know.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Step By Step
I just loaded New Kids on the Block: Greatest Hits into iTunes.
No, I didn't just buy the CD. Yes, I'm kind of excited about it.
No, I didn't just buy the CD. Yes, I'm kind of excited about it.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Things About Me
1. I like to keep the TIVO "clean". Too many shows backed up stresses me out.
2. I have an addictive personality. I get obsessed with things (TV shows, music, etc.) pretty easily.
3. I think it's sexy when guys drive a stick shift.
4. I'm generally unaware of my strengths and very conscious of my weaknesses.
5. I didn't wear my hair curly until I got to college. Try straightening your hair in 90% humidity - not fun (or pretty).
6. I originally wanted to go to college in a big city. I never would have survived.
7. I played tennis for two years in high school and I wasn't good. I took lessons between the two seasons and when I came back my coach apologized for not paying attention to me the year before.
8. I HATE humidity.
9. I once slept for 17 hours straight.
10. I want to have a house with a wrap-around porch someday.
11. Fall is my favorite season. I love the changing leaves and it's one of the things I miss most about Michigan.
12. I didn't drink diet soda until I lived with Tatum. It was Dr. Pepper all the way before that.
13. I didn't call pop "soda" until I moved to Utah. I still feel guilty about switching over.
14. I got glasses during my senior year of high school.
15. I sleep diagonally with my head in the right corner and my feet in the left corner of my bed.
16. I used to talk in my sleep. I haven't shared a room with anyone for a couple years so no one has been able to repeat back to me the crazy things I say.
17. I brush my teeth first and then wash my face. Always in that order. Morning and night.
18. I go through phases of being addicted to Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards from Dairy Queen.
19. Once I was addicted to Root Beer Freezes from A&W.
20. I am in love with Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights.
21. I don't know how to swim. I can't even float. It's sad...
22. I only like to order a non-water beverage at a restaurant if at least one other person orders one. If everyone else orders water I feel the need to follow suit.2. I have an addictive personality. I get obsessed with things (TV shows, music, etc.) pretty easily.
3. I think it's sexy when guys drive a stick shift.
4. I'm generally unaware of my strengths and very conscious of my weaknesses.
5. I didn't wear my hair curly until I got to college. Try straightening your hair in 90% humidity - not fun (or pretty).
6. I originally wanted to go to college in a big city. I never would have survived.
7. I played tennis for two years in high school and I wasn't good. I took lessons between the two seasons and when I came back my coach apologized for not paying attention to me the year before.
8. I HATE humidity.
9. I once slept for 17 hours straight.
10. I want to have a house with a wrap-around porch someday.
11. Fall is my favorite season. I love the changing leaves and it's one of the things I miss most about Michigan.
12. I didn't drink diet soda until I lived with Tatum. It was Dr. Pepper all the way before that.
13. I didn't call pop "soda" until I moved to Utah. I still feel guilty about switching over.
14. I got glasses during my senior year of high school.
15. I sleep diagonally with my head in the right corner and my feet in the left corner of my bed.
16. I used to talk in my sleep. I haven't shared a room with anyone for a couple years so no one has been able to repeat back to me the crazy things I say.
17. I brush my teeth first and then wash my face. Always in that order. Morning and night.
18. I go through phases of being addicted to Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards from Dairy Queen.
19. Once I was addicted to Root Beer Freezes from A&W.
20. I am in love with Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights.
21. I don't know how to swim. I can't even float. It's sad...
23. I am not a morning person. I wish I was.
24. I love to read. My love for reading started with The Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley Twins.
25. I'm slightly obsessive compulsive (self-diagnosed). I used to have a thing about checking the locks before I went to bed.
26. I would prefer to wear flip-flops 365 days a year.
27. I love To Do lists. I like to make them, work off of them and cross things off.
28. I love my cat, Max. And I like to think that he loves me back.
29. I am afraid of change and will usually do what I can to avoid it.
30. I typically don't remember my dreams.
31. My favorite candy bar is the PB Twix, but when that was discontinued for a while (like 10 years or something) I settled for the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
32. I love the feeling of climbing into clean sheets after getting out of the shower.
33. I love the smell/feel of warm laundry straight from the dryer.
34. I get a pedicure on a regular basis.
35. I think Daylight Savings is backwards.
36. I am obsessed with Brandi Carlile. I think she's amazing and would love to be her friend.
37. I saw the ocean for the first time when I was 23 years old.
38. I once watched You've Got Mail every Sunday for an entire semester in college.
39. I would never wish to go back to high school but I miss my friends from that time in my life and wish I kept in better touch.
40. I love music. I love the way it can bring out such strong emotions and pull memories to the surface.
41. I cry every time I watch Extreme Home Makeover after they yell, "Bus driver, move that bus!" and the family sees their new home for the first time. Without fail.
42. I was Salutatorian of my graduating class and spoke at my high school graduation.
43. I love black and white photos of buildings or cities.
44. In my mind even numbers are "good" and odd numbers are "bad". All of my favorite numbers are even.
45. I used to race kids to computer class in middle school so I could play Oregon Trail or this dungeon typing game that I can't remember the name of.
46. I only rode the bus to school for two years - 7th and 8th grade.
47. My nickname as a kid was Boo. I don't have a lot of memories with people calling me that but apparently one day I was just over it.
48. I miss my mom's cooking.
49. I'm anxious for my children and nieces/nephews (when they all eventually get here) to have close relationships because I wasn't close to most of my cousins.
50. I love seeing movies in the theater.
51. When I was a kid I wanted to own a candy store like the one Charlie goes to in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with wooden shelves and the ladders that roll. Either a candy store or a book store with a similar look.
52. I change out of my work clothes as soon as I get home. I'm probably in my pj's earlier than anyone you know.
53. I wish I could sing well. I would love to take voice lessons.24. I love to read. My love for reading started with The Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley Twins.
25. I'm slightly obsessive compulsive (self-diagnosed). I used to have a thing about checking the locks before I went to bed.
26. I would prefer to wear flip-flops 365 days a year.
27. I love To Do lists. I like to make them, work off of them and cross things off.
28. I love my cat, Max. And I like to think that he loves me back.
29. I am afraid of change and will usually do what I can to avoid it.
30. I typically don't remember my dreams.
31. My favorite candy bar is the PB Twix, but when that was discontinued for a while (like 10 years or something) I settled for the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
32. I love the feeling of climbing into clean sheets after getting out of the shower.
33. I love the smell/feel of warm laundry straight from the dryer.
34. I get a pedicure on a regular basis.
35. I think Daylight Savings is backwards.
36. I am obsessed with Brandi Carlile. I think she's amazing and would love to be her friend.
37. I saw the ocean for the first time when I was 23 years old.
38. I once watched You've Got Mail every Sunday for an entire semester in college.
39. I would never wish to go back to high school but I miss my friends from that time in my life and wish I kept in better touch.
40. I love music. I love the way it can bring out such strong emotions and pull memories to the surface.
41. I cry every time I watch Extreme Home Makeover after they yell, "Bus driver, move that bus!" and the family sees their new home for the first time. Without fail.
42. I was Salutatorian of my graduating class and spoke at my high school graduation.
43. I love black and white photos of buildings or cities.
44. In my mind even numbers are "good" and odd numbers are "bad". All of my favorite numbers are even.
45. I used to race kids to computer class in middle school so I could play Oregon Trail or this dungeon typing game that I can't remember the name of.
46. I only rode the bus to school for two years - 7th and 8th grade.
47. My nickname as a kid was Boo. I don't have a lot of memories with people calling me that but apparently one day I was just over it.
48. I miss my mom's cooking.
49. I'm anxious for my children and nieces/nephews (when they all eventually get here) to have close relationships because I wasn't close to most of my cousins.
50. I love seeing movies in the theater.
51. When I was a kid I wanted to own a candy store like the one Charlie goes to in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with wooden shelves and the ladders that roll. Either a candy store or a book store with a similar look.
52. I change out of my work clothes as soon as I get home. I'm probably in my pj's earlier than anyone you know.
54. I want to gossip and talk bad about people less. It's hard.
55. I cheated my way through geometry in 8th grade. The proofs got me every time!56. My name for four years in high school Spanish was Eva Maria.
57. I used to ride my bike everywhere as a kid. There wasn't a part of town that Brandi and I hadn't explored on our bike rides.58. I would rather be cold than hot.
59. I decided one day in high school that I wanted to go into advertising. No reason, really. And I did it.60. My mom made me peanut butter toast and chocolate milk for breakfast most mornings growing up.
61. In kindergarten I got a paper cut on my eyeball as I was flipping over a piece of green construction paper.62. As a kid I had a serious fear of Freddy Krueger.
63. I still get the chills every time I see a picture of him.64. I admire each of my siblings for very different reasons. They are pretty awesome people.
65. I wore sweat suits to school a lot in second grade. Pastel colored sweat suits. Yup.66. I went through a phase where I had to have the legs of my sweat pants pulled up mid-calf, even walking to school or on the playground in the single digit temperatures. I thought it wasn't cool to wear them any other way. I was wrong.
67. My mom was a substitute teacher in my elementary school. I used to stay after school with her and pretend I was teaching the class.68. In third grade I read at an 8th grade reading level.
69. I love to putt-putt golf.70. I would LOVE to vacation in Europe.
71. I wish I spoke another language fluently.72. I've been in love.
73. I've had my heart broken.74. I'm a picky eater. I don't like tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, any type of bean, peppers...the list could go on and on.
75. I have a secret crush on the bald guy from Miami Ink. I guess it's not so secret anymore.76. I love to laugh.
77. My favorite movie used to be Fools Rush In. I'm not really sure why because it's not good.78. I sleep with a fan on every night. No matter how cold it is outside.
79. I don't like to drink out of restaurant glasses without a straw.
80. I prefer to spend Friday nights at home watching a movie or reading a book.
81. I'm sort of a clean freak. I like my surroundings to be tidy.
82. I didn't fly on a plane until spring break of my junior year of high school.
83. I worked at Blockbuster for two summers during college. I loved it.
84. I got my first job ever as a Freshman in college at the Creamery on 9th. I only lasted two weeks.
85. My first concert was New Kids on the Block in 3rd grade. I loved Joey and Jonathan.
86. I'm not a spontaneous person, but sometimes I wish I was.
87. I've never been out of the country. Canada doesn't count.
88. I would like to visit the New England states (the furthest I've gone is up-state New York) and Oregon.
89. I went to Cedar Point at least once a year between 8-12th grade, maybe even before that.
90. I drove a red convertible my last two years of high school. It was technically Geoff's, but I used it while he was on his mission.
91. Sometimes I like a good cry. It just feels good.
92. I was the Vice President of my senior class in high school.
93. I have a testimony that I don't share enough.
94. I have a strange love for Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC. I can't explain it; I just love them!
95. I get embarrassed very easily.
96. Sometimes my face turns red even when I'm not actually embarrassed.
97. I wish I was better at saving money.
98. I'm a horrible story teller. I have a tendency to give too much background information and go off on a lot of tangents. The audience stops listening and I feel like an idiot.
99. I'm not good at anything relating to fractions. I can't add, multiply, divide them - nothing.
100. My worst years of seminary attendance were when it was taught by my mom in my basement. (Sorry Mom!)
101. As much as I like to complain, life is good.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
New Low
I honestly thought my life couldn't get any more boring...but it has. You may have noticed a lack of posts lately. It's not because I've been busy. It's because I have absolutely nothing to blog about.
So naturally I'm blogging about having nothing to blog about.
So naturally I'm blogging about having nothing to blog about.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Six Hours
I'm about to share an insight into my personal hygiene that might be too much for some to handle. Consider yourself warned.
I don't floss.
Well, up until a month ago I didn't floss. (Unless, of course, it was two days before a dentist appointment. Which makes zero sense. If a dentist could be fooled into thinking you floss regularly just by flossing two days before an appointment then it wouldn't be necessary to floss daily, right?) But one day I decided that I wanted to join the ranks of those, most likely made up of dentists and dental hygienists, who floss daily.
So, I made it a goal. I got ambitious and had a little goal-setting session with myself and guess what was the first on the list--that's right, "floss daily". It's actually written on my list of current goals. Ellen DeGeneres told me that if I write it down, it will happen. She was right.
It's been a over a month now and I've been surprisingly consistent. But every night, as I'm going through the motions with no real conviction to the cause, I think about how great life used to be when I could just brush my teeth and climb into bed guilt free.
I figure it takes roughly one minute to floss, so over the next year I will spend six hours flossing my teeth. Six hours that could be spent watching TV a little longer or checking PerezHilton.com one more time or reading one more blog - you know, the really important stuff in life.
Doesn't seem so insignificant now, does it?
I don't floss.
Well, up until a month ago I didn't floss. (Unless, of course, it was two days before a dentist appointment. Which makes zero sense. If a dentist could be fooled into thinking you floss regularly just by flossing two days before an appointment then it wouldn't be necessary to floss daily, right?) But one day I decided that I wanted to join the ranks of those, most likely made up of dentists and dental hygienists, who floss daily.
So, I made it a goal. I got ambitious and had a little goal-setting session with myself and guess what was the first on the list--that's right, "floss daily". It's actually written on my list of current goals. Ellen DeGeneres told me that if I write it down, it will happen. She was right.
It's been a over a month now and I've been surprisingly consistent. But every night, as I'm going through the motions with no real conviction to the cause, I think about how great life used to be when I could just brush my teeth and climb into bed guilt free.
I figure it takes roughly one minute to floss, so over the next year I will spend six hours flossing my teeth. Six hours that could be spent watching TV a little longer or checking PerezHilton.com one more time or reading one more blog - you know, the really important stuff in life.
Doesn't seem so insignificant now, does it?
Sunday, November 04, 2007
I Heart Tim Riggins
Let's talk for a minute about Friday Night Lights.
Natalie told me for months how much I would love this show and I didn't believe her. I hated the movie, why would I like the show? One night I randomly picked up season one on DVD (it was only $20) and watched the entire season in three days. It was fantastic and I finished it just in time for season two's premiere.
During my season one marathon Natalie sent me a text asking me if I had an FNL boyfriend yet. I replied that I thought maybe it would be Tim Riggins. I was a little embarrassed about it.
Now I'm 100% sure it's Riggins and I'm not ashamed. I love, love, love him. He might even be number one of of all of my TV boyfriends.
Yes, that's right. He's beating out Jim Halpert and McDreamy even though the character is a 17 year old, drunken, man-whore delinquent. But he's an adorable 17 year old, drunken, man-whore delinquent. Adorable.
I just needed to get that off my chest. And if you're not watching, you should be. You won't regret it.
Natalie told me for months how much I would love this show and I didn't believe her. I hated the movie, why would I like the show? One night I randomly picked up season one on DVD (it was only $20) and watched the entire season in three days. It was fantastic and I finished it just in time for season two's premiere.
During my season one marathon Natalie sent me a text asking me if I had an FNL boyfriend yet. I replied that I thought maybe it would be Tim Riggins. I was a little embarrassed about it.
Now I'm 100% sure it's Riggins and I'm not ashamed. I love, love, love him. He might even be number one of of all of my TV boyfriends.
Yes, that's right. He's beating out Jim Halpert and McDreamy even though the character is a 17 year old, drunken, man-whore delinquent. But he's an adorable 17 year old, drunken, man-whore delinquent. Adorable.
I just needed to get that off my chest. And if you're not watching, you should be. You won't regret it.
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