He Can't See Without His Glasses

First of all, name that movie. (Lindsay, you can't guess.)

Today is day three of contacts. Every morning and every evening for the last three days have been met with frustration (and maybe a few bad words). People make it look so easy, but it's not!

When I'm staring in the mirror, watching intently as my finger gets closer and closer to a place that I usually try to have fingers avoid, knowing that I'm about to stick something on top of my eyeball, I can't help but flinch and blink. Wouldn't you?

I think this is a situation where practice really will make perfect. At this rate, it's going to take a while.

Rough Waters Ahead

You know it's going to be a bad week when you have this conversation at 11:20 am on Monday.

Carlee: what are you doing for lunch?
Stephanie: slitting my wrists and laying in a puddle so they'll bleed
Stephanie: what about you?
Carlee: that's so funny because I was about to say that I was going to purchase a gun. . .
Carlee: yours was much more creative though - I like it!

This is not going to be good.

Wasting Precious Time

I am over today. No reason in particular--I'm just not feeling it.

So, in an attempt to keep me from having some sort of breakdown, I decided to waste an hour. I got back to my desk, saw that I had an hour before my next meeting, and decided then and there that I would waste it. And I must say, it feels pretty good.

Now this may give the impression that I have time to waste. Don't be fooled. This last hour has been "precious" time but I feel like that fact has made the wasting that much sweeter.

Happy Crappy Friday!

Doctor, doctor, give me the news. I've got a bad case of ____.

You tell me. Three days, three sets of symptoms.

Tuesday: A little something I refer to as "Rock in the Stomach". Not a sharp pain, but more of a dull, constant pain that I can only describe as a giant rock in my stomach.
Self Diagnosis: Ulcer. I looked up "ulcer symptoms" on webmd.com and maybe thought I had an ulcer for about 24 hours.

Wednesday:During a meeting yesterday afternoon I felt like I was very near passing out. (It's true that I've never actually passed out, but it was what I imagine it would feel like.) There was sweating, shaky hands, and slight nausea. Ice water helped and after my meeting I proceeded to eat for an hour straight (crackers, cookies, more crackers). I had a headache for the rest of the night.
Self Diagnosis: Low blood sugar

Thursday:Headache followed by nausea and dizziness to the point that I thought I may need to pull over on my way home and puke. I even passed up an offer for a Dairy Queen Blizzard. You know it's bad when I don't feel like a Blizzard!
Self Diagnosis: Brain tumor? Ok, I have no clue.

Clearly I am no doctor. I can't diagnose myself, but maybe you can.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news.

Should I Be Embarrassed?

My weekend in review...

-Grease 2
-Cleaning out the DVR (Ellen, Ugly Betty, ER, etc.)
-Loading my CD's into iTunes (Which you would think I would've done a year ago, but no.) I added close to 700 songs, which put a sizable dent in what I had left to load.
-Music & Lyrics (Not bad, but reminded me A LOT of Two Weeks Notice.)
-Church
-Compassionate Service Meeting
-Ward Prayer
-Visiting Teaching
-Entourage - Season One
-The Illusionist (The Prestige was better)
-Fly Boys (Didn't love.)
-The Hills
-Studio 60
-And last, but not least, working on conversion data, lead scrubbing and trend reports.

I did shower today, but never actually changed out of my PJ's.

Pretty productive weekend if I do say so myself.

I Couldn't Agree More

Happy Valentine's Day, I guess.

I don't love Valentine's Day (as previously explained) but I think I pretend to hate it more than I actually do.

For example, today I dressed from head to ankle in black to protest. But something inside me secretly wanted to celebrate and I couldn't help throwing on red shoes.


Putting aside the fact that all of the commercial hype for February 14th has been a constant reminder that I'm single, it is kind of nice to set aside a day to let those you care about know that you love them.

So I'm embracing the day and sending much love to all!

Not so much burn...

...as serious pain.

If this is what heartburn feels like, then I don't think I've ever had it.

I've never experienced anything like this. It feels like there is a cement block on my chest. Four antacids from the break room "pharmacy" later and it's still going strong.

Add that to my killer headache and you've got the makings of a night on the couch.

Aloha!

It's official! I'm going to Hawaii!

The tickets are booked, the time-off request has been approved and, starting Monday, you can find me at the gym.

This Just In...

This conversation just took place...

NT: "I need to call my mom so she doesn't worry about me, but I forget how to call out long distance. That's Ok."

Really, personal long distance phone calls on day 6?

Co-Worker: "So, about this report..."
NT: "Hold on, I'm talking to my mom."

How long do you think I'll last?

Should Still Be Scared

The entire company moved cubicles/offices last Friday (which could be a post all on its own) and, putting aside the fact that I had to move back to my old neck of the woods, I thought I scored a pretty good cube. Tucked back in a nice little corner, not much traffic, able to read blogs without worrying who can see...

I thought I had scored until I worked a full day in this new location. While all of the above perks are true, there are a couple of drawbacks. And while there are only two that I'm aware of so far, they are enough to make me a little crazy.

1. I now sit diagonal from one of the weirdest human beings ever created. He makes crazy noises and facial expressions in the middle of normal conversation, sings to himself, and 'drums' all over his desk.

Classic example: This morning I hear him sit down in his chair and then proceed to talk gibberish...out loud. "Blah, bloo, bleh, blagh, ba, ba, boo" WTF?! Who is this guy?

2. I now sit "near" the new temp who may be the loudest talker ever. Believe me, "near" is close enough.

Today was the beginning of her second week at work and she's already taking personal calls and giving people attitude about her computer issues. She should still be scared!! I was scared for the first 5 months I worked here!

Plus she has a man voice. I'm just sayin'.

Where Your Friends?

For some reason the sweet girl who does my nails thinks my name is Jennifer. Why? I have no idea, but I don't have the heart to correct her so I just answer to it.

She manages to remember Carlee and Lindsay's names and affectionately refers to them as "your friends". The three of us went in together a few times to get pedicures, which apparently means I'm supposed to know where they are every minute of every day. Every time a go in alone (which is once every two weeks) she asks, "Where your friends?". Or if one of them has gone in recently she'll say something like, "Lindsay come yesterday. She tell you?".

Lindsay sent me this video today and I love it so much. Like Fugs 'n' Jugs, it's funny because it's true.



Oh, and her name is Tracy. Not quite Tammy, but close.

Someone Should be Fired

How many gigantic belts would be too many for one person to wear in one movie? Two? Three? How about 18?

Eighteen gigantic belts worn by one woman in one movie. That woman was Diane Keaton and the movie was "Because I Said So".

I noticed this belt trend in all of the previews and I thought it would be a fun experiment to take a count of exactly how many belts there were.


What was the wardrobe person thinking? Whoever it was should be fired.