standoff.

So there I was, on my bed chatting on the phone with my roommate (yes, she was downstairs and I was upstairs) when a giant mosquito eater took aim at my face. That's probably not completely true, but it felt like it. Naturally I freaked out, bobbing and weaving to avoid getting touched by the massive bug, all the while keeping Lindsay on the phone.

I grabbed a shoe to kill it, but it never landed long enough or low enough for me to get it. I tried turning out the lights and luring it into another room, but that didn't work either.

Me: This is it. I'm calling in for backup.
Me: That backup being you.
Linds: [In the whiniest voice possible for her.] Nooo-o-o. You need to do it.
Me: I can't. I can't do it. Put some pants on and come up here.
Linds: [Sounding desperate] My bed is SO warm. Please. Please just do this for yourself.

This might be my favorite conversation we've ever had. And I feel like it sums up our friendship.

In the end she suggested sucking it up with the vacuum cleaner using its go-go gadget arm. Worked like a charm.

Guys, she's moving in a week...

be awesome instead.

jars. and brides.

I have a recent obsession with mason jars.
I don't actually have any in my possession, but I keep collecting ideas of what to do with them.
Like simply using them as drinking glasses.
Or this, for example.

I have a project coming up that drove me to actually search for some to buy and I ended up on Amazon. This woman's review of the product made me chuckle.

Now days it is very difficult to find jars for canning, since the most recent brides do little to no cooking, much less any food preservation. So stores seldom carry glass jars.

I year ya, lady.
Brides these days.

hidden treasures.

I've been meaning to simplify my life for some time now. Simplify in many ways really, but specifically by ridding myself of things. stuff. clutter. And with a move quickly approaching, I took some time over the long Memorial Day weekend to do just that.

The first stop was the garage. I always think I don't have that much stuff, because nothing in this house belongs to me except what's in my bedroom. Then I remember that I have a garage full of boxes. And who knows how many of those are mine.

Well, now I can tell you. Three. Three of those boxes are mine.
But it took some purging to get there.

I went through every box and threw things away, with Lindsay again being the voice of reason telling me when I was holding on to something I shouldn't. Except this time she didn't even attempt to make me throw out my jersey/sweatpants combo. She already lost that battle once. No need to lose again.

I took a picture of a few hidden treasures I found.

I'd like to introduce you all to Digby. Digby the dog, who I believe had a brother name Dexter.
But that's not the point.

My middle school bestie, Nikki, and I were given matching stuffed dogs for Christmas by a friend-boy. We both loved those stupid dogs. I mean, obviously I loved it because I'm 28 and he was still in my possession (albeit in a box in my garage).
Friends, I hate to tell you this way, but Digby is no longer with us.

I also happened upon my very first cell phone. I even pulled up the antenna for the picture to give the full effect. You're welcome.

That phone was killer. The back lighting was bright blue. And when it rang a picture of a phone showed up on the screen and it was animated. ANIMATION!

A Costco bin of tennis balls that Lindsay has tried to make me get rid of for three years.
For the record, I still have them.

In SLC Lindsay and I had this grand idea that we were going to start playing tennis together. I think she even bought a racket. I know what you want to ask and the answer is no.
We never played.
However, after the purchase my brother, Geoff, and I played every week for a while. "A while" might mean "two weeks", I can't remember.

And last, but certainly not least, formal dresses.
WHY did I keep these?!?
It's a question for which I just don't have an answer.

I tried them on over my clothes. And took photos. Duh.

First up, senior prom. A mint green beauty. The dress came with spaghetti straps, but that was obviously immodest.
So we made it into a halter.
Because clearly a halter is the more modest route...

Next up, bridesmaid dress.
There's nothing clever to say about it, it's just not something I'd ever wear. Unless I moved back to Utah where wearing shirts under strapless dresses is acceptable.

And as you can see, I decided to get fancy with this pose. [Please note the left foot. Fancy.]

I also went through College In a Box and threw 99% of it away. I can't explain to you why I thought I would ever dig through that box to find old notes from [insert college class name here].

And the Goodwill is pret-ty lucky because they also got my collection of romantic comedies. On VHS.

I still have a closet that needs to be de-cluttered, but as it turns out, I'm not moving. Soooo, who knows when that will happen.

aahVOCADO!

Subway bought the homepage of MSN.com today to tell me that I can now get avocado on any sub. any time. HOW DID THEY KNOW I LOVE AVOCADOS?!?

But seriously.

I want to eat guacamole all day, every day.

Especially with those salty chips from Chipotle.

mmmmmm.

I digress.
I just wanted to tell you that this thing called advertising nearly worked.

Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy the homepage for one day to announce a condiment maybe wasn't so crazy after all!

I got up from my chair, grabbed my purse and headed out to Subway to try their avocado.

Which will undoubtedly be in spreadable form and not even come close to meeting my expectations.

Unfortunately, to get to Subway I have to walk past the NY Deli where I eat lunch daily.

(They know my order. And my name. What's new?)

Subway and their avocado spread didn't stand a chance.


Random Story:
Long before my taste buds had a love affair with avocados, I drew one from a picture I saw in a magazine, using chalk, for a middle school art class.
It was one of my favorite pieces of work from that year.
Apparently it made an impression on a classmate as well because that year she wrote in my yearbook, "don't deny your avocado".
To this day I have no idea what that means.
The end.

mandolin.

I am now in possession of a mandolin.

AND I'm still under the impression that I'm going to learn how to play it.
So, that's fun.