conversation of the day

NW: Does he look mansized enough to be riding that bike?
Me: Mansized? I don't even know that that means, but I'm laughing so hard.
NW: Is he the size of a man?
NW: []yes
NW: []no
NW: It's a perfect adjective.

She's right. It is perfect.

And for the record, no, he did not look mansized enough to be riding that bike.

monkey

I stopped by my office tonight to pick up my computer and found these on my desk wrapped in plastic.

Yes, those are monkey slippers.

I have the strangest job.

mis padres

These two status updates, side-by-side, made me smile this morning.

conversation of the day

SS: Did I tell you I bought a BMW?
Me: No....?!?
SS: Oh, well I bought a BMW. Two years ago.

i've got a rep to protect.

We moved this chair from the living room into my bedroom to make way for the Christmas tree.

The Plan:
Cozy up at night and read books.


The Reality:
No time to read books. Instead throw clothes on it as you take them off on your way to bed in a zombie-like state.

From bad to worse.

This chair is really messing with my reputation of being an organized person.

m-i-c-k-e-y

Monday was spent thinking about her:

While Tuesday and Wednesday focused on her:

And Thursday and Friday were centered around this:

It was a long week, but the good news is that I survived.

The other good news is that I got to spend part of the afternoon watching a movie with my team. And apparently eating our weight in popcorn. Who would ever need that much popcorn?!?

Other Fun Facts: That popcorn bucket is branded with a movie my team is currently planning and most of the previews this afternoon were for other titles that we'll be working on.

High five to Mickey!

this ocd of mine, i'm gonna let it shine

By my standards, I had a very productive Saturday. I didn't sleep in (well, not as late as I wanted), got a haircut, finished unpacking from Michigan, did laundry, cleaned, prepared a lesson, went to the grocery store, made scotcheroos and went to a party. I mean, if you knew what my normal Saturday's were like, you'd be impressed. However, two big things did not happen on Saturday: Christmas shopping and working.

Work. After being out of the office unexpectedly for three days the week before and knowing this week was going to be intense, I really needed to work over the weekend. And I did not.

Monday rolled around and, even though I worked 14 hours, I still only finished what I should have done over the weekend. I was now a day behind. Tuesday showed up and I needed to make up for the lost time. Unfortunately, when I arrived at work (early!) I saw that my morning was full of meetings.

I needed a plan. So, at 12:30 while I was eating lunch, I made one.

Aside from a meeting from 3-4, my calendar was clear after 1pm. By that time I only had 17 proposals left to review. If I wanted to be out of the office by 7:30pm, I had 5.5 hours to review those 17 proposals, assuming I ignored every other email, phone call, request that came in. That meant I could spend 19 minutes on each proposal. Ultimately, I decided I would allot myself 15 minutes per proposal, giving me a 4 minute buffer for each in case things got crazy.

You may think I'm joking, but I assure you I am not. I crunched these numbers.

What did I do to keep on track, you ask? Well, I opened up the stopwatch on my phone and would check back every so often to see how much time I had spent with the proposal I was working on. The timer would be reset every time I opened a new proposal.

I'm not going to lie, I thought this was a brilliant plan.
I had been at it for nearly two hours when a teammate walked up to my desk. She began talking and after noticing my phone said, "What's going on with your phone?"

Me: "Oh, it's the stopwatch. Just pretend you never saw it."
CW: "Right. Why is the stopwatch going?"
Me: "Oh, you know...I'm just timing how long I'm reviewing each proposal."
CW: "You're timing how long you review each proposal."
Me: "Uh, yup. I have 15 minutes to spend on each one so keep talking; you're eating into my time."
CW: "Dude, I can't even talk to you with that thing going. It's stressing me out!"
Me: "Look, it's not weird..."
CW: "Yes, it is weird. But whatever works for you."

So, maybe it was an extreme measure. BUT I AM DESPERATE. And I didn't care how weird she though it was when I finished all 17 proposals 90 minutes earlier than planned. Just in time to start in on all the emails I had been ignoring for the last four hours.

That's 14 minutes per proposal, for those of you keeping score at home. OCD wins.

we're the great lakes state, let's celebrate

Last night I was at a Christmas party of sorts and decided I needed some dessert in my life. Remembering that there were sugar cookies to be had I went to the table and found that only one was left AND it was the shape of a mitten.

I think I probably shouted for joy (you know, because I got the last cookie) and said something like, "There's one left! And the shape is very fitting."

The response I got? A quizzical look and "Why? Because you wear mittens all the time?"

"Well, no. Because I'm from Michigan", I replied.

[Blank stare.]

You guys. He didn't know Michigan was shaped like a mitten.

Having my mind blown by this, I of course went on to ask several other people if they knew what the shape of Michigan resembled. Three other people, actually.

NO ONE ELSE KNEW EITHER.

I get that I might be a little biased because I lived there for 17 years and all, but I'm pretty sure even if I hadn't I still would have noticed.

And just for funsies I typed into Google, what is michigan shaped like? The results brought up a Yahoo Answers page where someone had asked a similar question. Here's what "Buck" had to say about it: did you really think this was a hard question? any 8th grader could have answered this.

Apparently not, Buck.

bangs to resolutions

I always wait to get my hair cut until my bangs are so long and ridiculous that I look in the mirror and think, I literally cannot go another day looking like this. Today was that day for me. Except I didn't even have to look in the mirror. I just lay in bed and remembered what I looked like yesterday, grabbed my phone without even getting out of bed and made an appointment for 30 minutes later.

My stylist said to me, "You know what your new year's resolution should be? To come in every three weeks for a bang trim.". I'm not kidding. It's THAT bad.

Maybe that's what it will take. But it got me thinking about new year's resolutions in general.

I need something good for 2011.

what are you trying to say?

Do you ever wonder what kind of targeting is in place for the ads you get served?

Let's take an example from tonight. As I watched three episodes of 30 Rock, Hulu served me an eHarmony ad. Now, do you think eHarmony thought they would reach their target audience by targeting that type of show? Possibly.

But after the ad ran and I continued watching, from my bed, I had another thought. It's also possible that they were targeting by day of week. As in, anyone watching TV online on a Friday evening might also be a person with a need for eHarmony.

Or maybe I'm a media planner with too much time on her hands.

not an empty threat.

If their parents aren't careful, I might try to sneak off with one (or more) of these babies (or their siblings).

UPDATE: Why does my left hand look MASSIVE in that top photo? It's creeping me out.

1967.

My dad received a gift from his brother this weekend.

It was a framed photo that he had never seen before of himself and an old friend. 19 years old. Just drafted into the Army. About to step on a train that would take them to basic training.

The pants. The shoes. The jacket with the sleeves pushed up. The unusually small bag. The blue steel look.

I love it all.

give thanks.

My second Thanksgiving on my own came and went successfully.

I still have yet to make a turkey in my life, but after finding out that you have to stick your hand inside and "rub the turkey" I don't know that I'll be checking that one off the list any time soon. I mean, I can't even eat meat off of the bone. Luckily, these two brave souls made the turkey happen.

Between the six of us, we had everything necessary to make a complete Thanksgiving dinner. Minus the corn, which I forgot at home. My mashed potatoes felt naked without it, but I managed.

No gathering put on by CK would be complete without the perfect decor, including hand stamped name tags and books of gratitude.

As it turns out, homemade table decorations are also fire hazards. For example, that lit candle between the popcorn and chocolate quite possibly set the wood slats surrounding it on fire. Our meal was done. Our backs were to the table. I was drifting off into a post-dinner nap. We were none the wiser. Luckily JC had a craving for pie and walked past the table, only to find it flaming.

The end result.

I have so many things to be thankful for.
On that day in particular, one of those things was good people in my life.

Today, it's my family. And health.
Tomorrow something else will likely take that top spot.

But I am grateful. For so many things.

sunday will come

secure

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to pat down your hoodie."

Go for it.

Nothing like a Thursday morning pat down.

on the bus today...

...I got on, sat down and nothing happened for several minutes. The doors didn't close. The bus wasn't moving. I asked the guy across the aisle what was going on and he, first, looked at me like I was crazy for even trying to talk to him and, second, responded with "nothing".

Clearly this was his first time on the bus.

So, I got up and asked the driver what was going on. She replied, with a tone that implied that I should have known, "I've called a supervisor and am waiting for them to escort that guy off." I turned in the direction of her head-point and discovered "that guy" was a homeless dude laying down across the seats. For the record, he seemed to be minding his own business.

Regardless, I hopped off the bus, thinking another was coming within the next few minutes [Wrong. It was 20 minutes.] and soon nearly the entire bus cleared out and we were all waiting at* the bus stop again. I mean, I'm not trying to say they were all following me, but that's exactly what I'm trying to say.

Well, the joke was on them for trusting my judgment because as soon as the bus cleared out, the driver closed the doors and drove away. WITHOUT REMOVING THE HOMELESS MAN.

It was a mean trick.




*It was recently pointed out to me that I say "on the bus stop" instead of "at the bus stop". And that it's incorrect to do so. Of course I needed to get a second (through fifth) opinion and it turns out they unanimously agreed that I was wrong.


So, there you go. I was AT the bus stop.