winds of change.

The winds of change are blowing in my life. The storm is rolling in, and after it sweeps through it will leave behind a different landscape than the one I've come to know.

People. Comforts. Situations. They're exiting my life, are on the verge of leaving or have rapidly budding desires to leave. Lives are changing for the better, and I can't help but be happy for that. But I also have to remind myself often not to take it personally.

People come and go, right? That's just what they do.
I firmly believe that people are brought into our lives at certain times for a reason. And sometimes, most of the time, they won't stay forever. But if you're like me, you just want them to stay. It's an understatement to say that I have a hard time letting go (which explains a lot experiences I've had).

This has all been weighing on my mind lately, but felt heavier this week.

The internet is a tricky thing. You wander around it's pages, seeking that specific nugget of information you need, or not really seeking anything at all. In one of those moments of aimless wandering I happened upon a photo of someone that used to be very important to me. It was unexpected, stopped me in my tracks and left me feeling like I had been punched in the stomach. I thought about how strange it is that a person can be so very much a part of our lives and then one day we see a photo of them in their new life, a life that has no traces of us, and realize we can't remember the last time we really thought about them. Or maybe not just thought about them, but remembered them.

The other day I was sitting on the bus when I saw a familiar face step on. A few months ago this person was, what I would consider, a staple in my life. A few months ago I would have made my way to the front of the bus so we could chat and laugh away the ride home together. But it's not a few months ago, it's now. So instead I turned up the volume in my headphones and watched the people on the street.

I've been looking through old photo albums this afternoon. (Note to self: don't do that when you're feeling tinges of sadness.) Although it made my heart a little heavy to think about how rarely, if at all, I talk to some of these people, I also felt very blessed to have had them in my life.

I do a lot of my feeling through music. And these recent thoughts and experiences have caused me to put this song on repeat; not because of the exact situation she's describing, but because of the feelings that result from what she's describing.




I don't really have a point. I haven't come out on the other side of these thoughts and feelings with a clearer understanding or a way to wrap this up and put a pretty bow on it. They're just thoughts.

But the winds of change are blowing. I guess I just need to brace myself so that I'll still be standing once they've run their course.