That's All.

This is kind of how I feel right now.

*And I get the feeling this wasn't the first time I had done that to that window.

Where was I going with this?

Tonight I was looking through some unpublished drafts and found this list from 1.9.10 at 2:13 am.

-Miss learning
-Cuddling pants
-People falling down
-Mad Men
-Lazorkitten photo

Apparently I was making notes of some stories I wanted to tell. I don't remember making this list, but if I had to guess at what I would have said it would look something like this:

Miss learning: Sometimes I miss the "official" learning that comes with being in school. Sure, I learn things every day, but it just doesn't feel the same.

Cuddling pants: I woke up one morning cuddling a pair of pants that I must have picked off the floor in the middle of the night. It was strange. And also funny. [This is my favorite on the list.]

People falling down: It's just funny.


Mad Men: I was super addicted to this show in January. Then my life exploded and I no longer had time for it.

Lazorkitten photo: Need I say more?

I think I had the right idea at the time by not publishing anything during the 2am hour, but in keeping with all of the poor choices I've made today, I'm posting it now.

Excuse me, I have to take this call.

There's a person in my life at the moment that takes a lot of personal calls. Now, I'm not judging the use of company time because I've been known to have an IM conversation or two that doesn't relate to my job. However, IMing is quiet and non-disruptive to those around you. [Rationalizing: check.]

Well, it's quiet and non-disruptive unless you have funny friends that make you laugh out loud sometimes. Which I do. But that's not my point.

While I was in a meeting this morning I received the following IM from my neighbor.

I don't know where you are right now, but you're missing an awesome personal call. We're talking about signs of a drug addict, interventions and whether or not a particular club tonight will be "all asians”.

After the initial wave of disappointment at missing this obvious gem passed, I proposed we keep a log of all calls, including subject matter, so that neither of us will miss out on anything when we're away from our desks.

I'm always thinking, folks.

Things About the Gym

1. The hallway outside the gym smelled like pizza tonight. That's a mean trick.
2. Going to the gym is much more fun when it involves dancing. I don't know how effective it is, but I sure am sweaty when I'm done.
3. One thing I do know? I look ridiculous doing it.
4. Thirty minutes on the treadmill post an hour of dancing to classy songs like this is boring in comparison.
5. My running mix leaves much to be desired.
6. Unless I plan on seeing you there, the gym is one place I'd really prefer not to run in to people I know.
7. On a related note, changing into gym clothes at work is slightly awkward. The preferring not to run in to people applies here as well.
8. Sometimes when I get off the treadmill I wonder how often I had been singing outloud without realizing it. Let's hope it's 0% of the time.

Quote of the Day

gchat status: golf lessons confirmed.
IM from SS: golf? you suddenly became about 20% more attractive


After seven years I can't believe I never realized that all I had to do was learn to golf to win him over.

San Francisco

For some reason this song stuck out to me today.

The Best Around

This weekend was kind of the best (around!). Karate Kid style.

Grab some snacks because you're about to get a serious play by play. But there are pictures!

I knew there were good things to come when I left work (albeit slightly late for a Friday) and walked down to Pike Place Market in the Seattle sunshine. Just me, my thoughts, the sounds of the city, random tidbits of conversation around me and, did I mention the sunshine? [I'm going to let you all in on a little secret, Seattle in the summer is a little slice of heaven. It's not officially summer yet, but I definitely got a sneak peak of what's in store for me. And it's real good.]

Post meeting up with my people at the market (and after being asked by a dreamboat and his two friends to join them at their table) we made our way to Golden Gardens. There was ice cream and sunsets to be had! We all know I can't get enough of the soft serve, so it was perfect.

We thought we had hit the jackpot when we realized one among us had a key to get into the marina, but the boat didn't quite work out for us. Instead we just wandered the dock and I kept any eye out for Dawson and Pacey. No really, it made me want to go home and watch Dawson's Creek. So what if I own all the seasons on DVD?

I wasn't prepared for the result of ice cream+disappearing sun+wind off the water, but I survived. And I got to enjoy this along the way. Beautiful.

We lost some and gained some in the group and ended the night with a little Robin Hood. And maybe a teeny tiny nap for me. Just a little guy.

Saturday started off right with run at Green Lake. Again with the sunshine! Along the way I spotted a BYU t-shirt on someone I didn't immediately recognize (as if I'm supposed to know everyone in the area that went to BYU) but quickly realized that it was Ruth! A friend from my home stake who I have known lives on the East Side for a year, but still had not met up with. You'll always run into someone you know at Green Lake. Always.

Then came the U District street fair. Lots and lots of people watching (which I love) a bad hot dog, delicious strawberry lemonade, palm reading for one in the group, homemade ice cream and saving the unicorns.

This man made my day.


The street fair was followed by a walk through the UW campus and a stop at Hogwarts. I loved this library! No Harry Potter sightings, but maybe next time.

Then there was a failed attempt at canoeing on Lake Washington. BUT (!) it wasn't a total failure since I got to sit on the water and just love life for a while. Sidenote: I love bridges.

Having filled up on some vitamin d for the day, I squeezed in a nap before eating steak that was cooked on a grill in my backyard. Anything cooked on a grill in your backyard will be awesome, but this was especially good. Not to mention my odds at dinner were kind of amazing with me, five dreamboats and one other girl.

Today consisted of brunch with friend that has recently returned from falling off the face of the earth (yay!), church, reading in the semi-sunshine and braving the masses at game night.

And I have been reminded of why I've taken a hiatus from reading. Books take over my life. Apparently moderation is not something I do well.

Kind of sounds like the best around, right? I thought so too.

Grilled Cheese Master

Guys, I think I'm the Grilled Cheese Master. You probably didn't know there was such a thing; I didn't either. But I think I'm it.

Maybe you've heard me boast a time or two about my grilled cheese making ability. There's no denying that I have the skills to produce a perfectly golden brown sandwich. It may be the only thing I can cook, but who's keeping track?

Maybe I made a delicious ham and grilled cheese (aka "hot, ham & cheese" if you ever bought hot lunch at my elementary school. Or is it called that other places too?) on Monday for lunch while working from home.

Maybe I bragged about its perfection in my FB status update.

And maybe since that time two childhood friends have commented on that status with tales of me, as a child, teaching them the art of the grilled cheese.

Sarah: "You've had a lot of practice...I remember making grilled cheese with you when we were, like, 10. Unfortunately, I still always burn mine. :)"

Kelly: "Ha! You taught me to make grilled cheese when we were little people."

I have no recollection of this ever happening. But who is to argue with two witnesses? Certainly not me. And I think the teaching part is what has pushed me beyond just being good at it to being The Master. I don't hide my talent(s).

So, it looks like I have something else to add to my resume: tetris, beaching and now grilled cheese making. And I'm also considering adding it to my email signature: Media Planner, Science Whiz & Grilled Cheese Master.

Curls.

Ask anyone who has naturally curly hair if they like it and the overwhelming majority will tell you they don't. I've hated mine since, well, forever. This strong dislike is what led me to perfect my roundbrushing skills at the tender age of 7th grade. (I don't feel like doing the math. Is it 12?) What I'm saying is that it takes me a bit of effort every morning to get my hair to look "normal". My finished product is everyone else's Step 2.

But I'm not bitter or anything.

When I got my hair cut a couple weeks ago, my stylist mentioned the fact that we "pretty much have the same hair type" minus the naturally curly part. Except hers looked adorable. And mine did not. So I asked her what size curling iron she uses, blah, blah, blah, and devised a plan to be the type of girl that actually does something with her hair.

Cut to this weekend when I put the wisdom she passed along into action. First attempt was roughly 46.5% failure. Second attempt was 95% success. Today was my third attempt and also my first workday test run. All appeared to be going well until one side of my hair went flat before I even sat down at my desk. But humidity has done worse things to my hair when I've tried to keep it straight, so I wasn't too concerned about it.

Until I sat down in Boss #1.5's office for a meeting. She looked at me and said, "I really like your hair like that. Some of it kind of wavy and some of it kind of straight."It took everything I had not to laugh out loud. Instead a just thanked her and explained that it was actually all curled, but didn't quite stay that way.

But Internet, I'm not giving up. I may be a quitter when it comes to most things, but I won't quit on my hair. I stick to it when it relates to the truly important things in life.

Just Over Lunch

Over the course of 20 minutes at lunch today:

+My friend at Quiznos is back! And I've gotten lazy again and eat there nearly once a week. Except while he was gone my "usual" order changed. Now when I come in he just gives me the option of Usual #1 or Usual #2, instead of just assuming "The Usual". I've missed him. Maybe I should learn his name...

+There is a place where you can get a haircut on the bottom floor of my building. I'm calling it a "place where you can get a haircut" because I wouldn't call  it a barber shop and it's definitely not a salon. It's just a place where Gretchen cuts hair.

For two years this place has boggled my mind - yes, boggled - for a few reasons.

1. There seems to be no consistency to her hours of operation.
2. Roughly 85% of the time she's not cutting hair, but sitting at a desk working on Sudoku. Or what I'm assuming is Sudoku. (Hey! Remember Sudoku?! That was fun.)
3. She has taxidermied* animals as part of her decor.
4. She also sells Firemen of Seattle calendars. Firemen. Wearing very little clothing.

+A co-worker visited a Toastmasters meeting today and is considering joining. She got nervous when they told her she would have to stand up and introduce herself. I got nervous just thinking about walking through the door (which is why I didn't even go).

Anyway, did you know that they have a Jokemaster?! Someone who gets up at the meeting and just tells a joke. Brilliant.

+I received an email from IT asking me to approve adding a co-worker to our team email alias. There was no reason that I should have been asked that question as I have no real authority on the team. However, I gave my approval anyway. I felt so powerful. I think I'm going to run with it.

*Pretty sure I just made that word up.

Conversation of the (yester)Day

P: I like to keep my FB friend list to under 125.
Me: So who got the boot when you added me as a friend?
P: Probably cousins.
...
Me: Wait? COUSINS? You delete your family?!
P: Of course.
___________________________

C: I may just wear sneakers tomorrow. Or maybe every day until my last day.
Me: You could also wear two middle fingers* in the air.

*Of course I don't promote that type of behavior. Of course not.

Lost.

I don't lose things. I'm not one of those people always searching for their keys, phone, shoes or glasses. With me, everything has it's place. My bus pass goes in my wallet as soon as it's swiped. My keys and work badge are stored in my purse when they're not in use. My coat is hung in the closet when I take it off. A co-worker sat at my desk while I was out of town and I came back to a sticky note that said, "You are so organized!".

You may call me OCD. I call me awesome. Awesome or organized. Either one.

But today I lost something.

I drove in this morning and, as is standard when parking in the parking garage, before I got out of the car I put the parking ticket in my wallet. I can see it happening in my mind. The problem is, when I went to move my car out of the garage this evening, there was no ticket to be found. Not in my wallet, not in my purse, not in my car. (Although I did find the string cheese that fell out of my pocket a few weeks ago.) I think it's safe to assume that it is hanging out on the floor of Sound Soups where I met Miss C for lunch.


Okay, that's a bummer, I thought, but people must lose their tickets all the time. Right? Which would mean there must be some sort of explanation somewhere of what to do when you find yourself without a ticket that I've just never noticed because I'm awesome. Or organized.

I first tried the lobby of the parking garage where I normally pay the annoying machine that talks to me. Not a thing about lost tickets. I decided it must be on the machine where I put my ticket as I'm driving out and made my way to my car. In the elevator I saw a notice that a lost ticket would result in paying the maximum fee. Acknowledgment of potential lost tickets. Promising. I got in my car and drove to the exit, pulled up to the ticket reader and...nothing about lost tickets.

I tried pushing random buttons that I thought would connect me to an attendant (even though there was a sign that said "No attendant on duty"). I tried putting my card in without a ticket. I tried talking out loud to the machine just in case someone, somewhere could hear me. No dice.

And now I was stuck.

I couldn't get out because the gate was shut, but I couldn't back up or go park again because the entrance is on the other side of the gate. Maybe this was the point where I started to panic a little. I saw a phone number on a sign so I called it. Answering machine. I used my magic phone to find another phone number. Another answering machine. Just when I was really about to flip out, a man who looked like he might work there was walking by.

As it turned out, he did work there. He gave me a fake ticket and I had to leave my car sitting in the middle of the exit (luckily there were two, otherwise I would have reached my flip out point a lot sooner knowing there was a line of cars behind me) run to the lobby, pay the talking machine, and come back to put the fake ticket in the reader and get my car out.

I was trapped in the parking garage, waiting at the exit watching car after car drive away, for 30 minutes. It felt like three hours.

And that is why I don't [usually] lose things.

All I've Got

+It feels like it's time to make a list. One of my favorite things in life. Lists and exaggerations.
+FHE comes in all shapes and sizes. Tonight in came in the shape of dinner with my roommate and her brother. 147% better than the alternative.
+The Ant Man came at 7am today. I was awake and showered, but not dressed. You can only ask so much of me.
+I got a reminder phone call that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 7:30am. Totally forgot. Why would I do that to myself? And two days in a row?
+I've been trying to decide on my favorite photo from the SLC weekend and realized that 90% of my photos are of my nephew. It could not be helped.
+This photo might be a runner-up. Oh, DM...

+Today I was a few mintues late to a meeting and ended up having to sit on the floor for an hour. I realized that nothing smells pleasant from that location.
+On Saturday afternoon I watched two hours of Little People, Big World. I had real things to do, but I just couldn't stop watching.
+I tried Zumba for the first time last week. I felt pretty awkward and totally uncoordinated, but I think I'll go back.
+In related news, my magic phone thinks that I'm trying to spell Zimbabwe every time I type Zumba. You'd be surprised at how often I've typed that word. And how often I haven't noticed that it changed it to Zimbabwe before sending.
+I can't remember what we were discussing in this photo, but I'd like to think it was something like this:

Me: Don't try anything with that syrup.

Em: Try and stop me.

+My sister enrolled me in a photography class for my birthday - my half birthday, really - and I'm definitely enjoying it. Super basic stuff, but really good to learn more about my camera. The problem is that I can't seem to bring myself to do the assignment prior to the last possible moment. I'm a master procrastinator.
+I should never go back to school. See reason above.

+When I was in SLC I ran a 5k with my brother and sister. We're using the word "ran" loosely here.

+My roommates switched rooms on Saturday. Lindsay and I shoved a mattress up our very steep, narrow stairway. It was an adventure. And one I don't wish to relive any time soon.
+The Challenge: Fresh Meat II update: I don't hate Kenny.
+My company is not renewing my bus pass in June, which means I have to start paying to ride the bus, which means I'm a little sad about it.
+Speaking of the bus, the number of days I have to run for the bus has increased substantially since I moved.
+My house has flowers and plants everywhere and I love it. Spring!

+Today is my Mom's birthday!
+I felt very overwhelmed today with everything I'm being asked to do. But it wasn't a constant feeling; it was coming and going. As I thought about this, I was reminded of Greg Laswell's song Comes and Goes (In Waves).  Greg on May 8th at the Tractor, anyone?

Another Anniversary

My two year anniversary at my job came and went this week.  And I totally forgot! I didn't think of it until Chats McGee, who started on the same day as me, IM'd me two days later to remind me.

The good news is I still like it there. The better news is that a change might be coming.

I give you permission to skip this one...

...because it's nerdy and no one cares. BUT. I was reading some of the trades today and the buzz is all about FB taking over the world. Below are a few paragraphs from one of those articles that kind of made me laugh a little.

Remember the computer network in "The Terminator" that progressively got so smart it became sentient and attempted to annihilate the human race? That network was called Skynet, and its goal was to remove the possibility of human error and slowness of reaction time to guarantee fast, efficient response to enemy attack.

Wednesday, at F8, the annual Facebook Developer Conference, Facebook announced its open graph initiative to take the social network to its next logical evolution -- everyplace other than Facebook. The initiative is designed to use people's social interactions (when logged into Facebook, which is like always, natch) to shape their experiences across every possible connected environment. On the Facebook blog, founder Mark Zuckerberg stated that "the power of the open graph is that it helps to create a smarter, personalized web that gets better with every action taken."

[blah, blah, blah. The rest of the article can be read here.)

At a recent dinner, a group of friends of mine discussed whether or not Facebook's market capitalization would ever eclipse Google's. If this plan is successful, it may not be a question of if, but when.

Oh -- and if it does (and achieves sentience)? Please don't annihilate humanity, Facebook. We wouldn't "like" that. Bonus conspiracy theory: Former Facebook Chief Privacy Officer (and genuine, great guy) Chris Kelly is running for California attorney general. California's governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ahnold was The Terminator. Circle. Complete.

Okay, carry on.

Dancing a Jig

Em supplied the penny whistle and sweet tunes. I supplied the jig.

We meant it.

So, There's That.

You heard I was coming didn't you, SLC?

There Is Some...Insect!

You know how sometimes you think you see something out of the corner of your eye crawling up the wall and then you tell yourself your just seeing things but then you look and realize there actually IS something crawling up your wall?

A jumbo spider.

It's gone to a better place.



And oh, how I wish I could tell you the story that the title of this post comes from. But it happened 12-ish years ago and it just wouldn't be funny in writing. Granted, that doesn't normally stop me from posting the majority of what I post, but tonight it will. Just trust me, it was good.

Walking Me Away

Different than last time. Not better or worse, just different. Still good. Still crazy.

Whip It*

Okay, I'm just going to cut to the chase: I went to the roller derby and it was simply amazing.

My only exposure to roller derby was the movie Whip It and I had low expectations for what I was about to experience. I'm happy to report that all of my expectations were exceeded. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that, had you seen me during the two hours I was there, you would have seen what true joy looks like. This was evidenced by me, in one of the quieter moments, randomly shouting, "I'm so happy right now!!!".  True story.

Don't ask me to explain what I loved so much about it because I don't really know. Maybe it was the fact that they were on roller skates. Maybe it was because I wish I was as tough as some of those girls. Or maybe it was because many of them aren't typical "athletes" but they have found something they're good at and are owning it. Whatever the reason, it won me over and I turned into the type of spectator I am when I'm watching the Pistons play. Just a lot of clapping and yelling going on. A lot.

Through the course of the night we discussed what our derby names would be. Here are two suggestions for mine and please keep in mind these names are supposed to make you sound super tough:

HASN'T SHOWARD (You know, s. howard? Get it?)
STEPHANIE HOW-NOW-BROWN-COW

Pretty intimidating, right? Or the opposite.

In other news, my favorite moment of the weekend was when LJL said, while holding a baby, "Babies love me" and then the baby immediately threw up ALL OVER her. It was possibly the most I've ever seen a baby puke at one time and you'd be correct if you assumed that I laughed the entire time I was getting her napkins to clean it up. But at least I actually got her the napkins, which is more than I can say for her that time the bird poo'd on my foot.

An honorable mention moment of the weekend was when I asked if anyone knew how to do magic so that I wouldn't actually have to work on a project that is due tomorrow and PB thought about it for a moment and then responded with, "Ok, here's a list of people I think would know magic out of our three wards". Sadly, the list was decently long.

But roller derby. It's a good time. A real good time.

*Was there really any other option for the title of this post?