Conversation of the Day

Cambo: sounds like maui was fun.
Cambo: and you used a life jacket to snorkel???
Me: maui was fun. and yes. dude, i can't swim. which includes floating.
Cambo: you really can't swim?
Me: no!
Cambo: did you take swimming lessons when you were young?
Me: nope.
Me: this is my favorite conversation today.
Cambo: wow. i am shocked. i have never known someone that didn't know how to swim. lucky for you that I didn't know that when you worked here
Me: how do you not know this about me? what would you have done if you knew when i worked there?
Cambo: probably mocked you occasionally.


And by "occasionally" I'm quite certain he meant "on a daily basis".

Just because July...

...was better than August or September have been.

Maui: Seven

Alternate Title: The Day Maui Babe Failed Us

Last night we all (minus Brooke and her SPF 50 skin) decided that, since it was our last day in Maui, we were going to go big with our tanning system today. This meant foregoing the sunscreen and rocking the Maui Babe Browning Lotion.

In keeping with our daily routine, we all put on our swimsuits and gathered in the dining room and lotioned and oiled, oiled and lotioned. I couldn't bring myself to go completely sans sunscreen, so I put on on SPF 4 and THEN Maui Babe.

SPF 4. Like that's going to do anything, but it made me feel better.

We were only at the beach for a couple hours but let's skip ahead to late afternoon after we made it back to the condo to shower. We were all feeling the burn. My legs felt like they were on fire and most of Lindsay's body resembles a lobster. The Professor and Patrick are also crispy, but having spent less time than us at the beach today, they are in better shape.

Turns out Maui Babe may have been the wrong choice.

Tomorrow morning we'll get on a plane and had back to this.

But I've used the last week of looking at views like this to build up my reserves, so I'm actually kind of looking forward to it.

Thanks, Maui.

Maui: Six

This morning we headed north and followed the same road that, on day one, caused me to literally pray that we would not fall off the side of a mountain. However, this time, we stopped well before the two lane road turned into one lane and I got carsick from all the winding.

I mean, it's day six. We've learned a thing or two by now.

This time we stopped, walked through a beautiful wooded area [complete with Tarzan-like vines hanging from trees] and ended up at a very rocky bay. A bay perfect snorkeling. You see, my snorkeling adventure on day four was no fluke. Apparently it's what I do now.

I'm happy to say that a few things were different from day four. 
1. It required much less convincing to get me in the water. [It helped that the shore consisted entirely of rocks, so not going out would have been a worse decision.]
2. I downsized from the life jacket + boogie board to the life jacket + water noodle combo. A step in the right direction if I do say so myself.
3. I ditched the death grip. Sure, I forced BS to stay very nearby the whole time, but I wasn't breaking her hand in the process.
4. We were out pretty far and the water was deep. We went beyond where all the boats were dropping snorkelers off on their paid tours.

I saw a lot more fish this time and even an eel, but sadly no sea turtles. When The Professor finally showed up again and announced that he had seen a sea turtle on his adventure, my jealousy raged. But I took comfort in the fact that it was at least half the size of Frank.

The life jacket + water noodle combo. Don't mind the crazy salt water hair or the awkward pose. Finding a way to make posing with a water noodle look natural is harder than you'd think.

The rest of the afternoon was spent at the beach working on our tans. In the words of PB, "It's crunch time" so it was necessary to do some good work. The beach was beautiful but was a little like being in a tornado. So, so windy. We eventually moved to the grass to avoid being pelted with sand, but the damage was already done. I had more sand in my hair than you could imagine. My favorite moment of the day might have been this evening when we got in the pool and The Professor was scrubbing sand out of my hair. That guy will do anything.

And for your bonus photo/story of the day. Mom and Dad went on a date tonight and left the kids at home. [Side note: I don't know how it happened, but they left Brooke in charge. Yeah, I'm confused too.] Below is the pre-date photo. Notice anything odd?

Oh, that's just me creepin' in the background. I was standing on a chair on the back porch trying to watch the fools who got their truck stuck on the beach. So, I guess I was creepin' on them too.

Only one more full day to go. Let's not talk about it.

Maui: Five

Today we ate. All day.

We started out with breakfast at The Gazebo for their famous white chocolate macadamia nut pancakes. I don't typically enjoy nuts cooked in my food, but in the spirit of trying new things I went for it. And it was delicious. I was sad I could only finish one.

This afternoon, after The Professor, Patrick and Brooke finished their surfing lesson, we made our third attempt at getting acceptable shaved ice. JACKPOT. It was everything I never knew I always wanted in shaved ice. Banana, coconut & pineapple with ice cream on the bottom. We'll be back.

After a dinner of homemade pizza [Which, sadly, I have no photographic evidence of, but let's just say it was a little toasty.] we made our way to Yogurtland. We had gone there for dessert on my birthday and The Professor hasn't stopped talking about it since. Here he is with his 15oz.

And just for funsies, this was my view while I spent some quality time with my tan this afternoon. I can't be mad about that.

I had come in from the pool and was reading my book on the couch when I had the following conversation with P-Rizzle.

PB: Dude, Steph, you're SO tan.
Me: Really? You're not just saying that because that's what I want to hear?
[side note: He had previously been telling me that I was tan when I wasn't just to make me feel better.]
PB: For real. It's almost scary.

So in a nutshell, I ate a lot of good food and am getting scarily tan. Basically today is my best day.

Maui: Four

Alternate title: Frank the Old, Wise Sea Turtle.

So, here are a couple things about me that you should know by now:

• I can't swim. Not really even a little bit.
• As a result, I have a slight fear of water. 

Now, this fear of water is a little strange because there are times when I love water. Like yesterday evening as I was on the beach in our backyard watching the sunset. LOVE. Or last night as I was watching the waves lit by moonlight after eating dinner on the back porch. LOVE.

Yet jumping in that water and being able to keep myself from drowning is something I just can't seem to get behind. The thought of it paralyzes me with fear.

However, let's not forget that 2010 is the year I do hard things.

So when everyone was renting snorkel gear for the week, I said, Sure, I'll rent some. Why not? [Life jacket included.]

But when we got to the beach and I saw the water and waves and what appeared to be twenty dead bodies floating just off shore, I felt the fear creeping over me. I promptly decided that my tan really needed me to put in some good time on the sand. I mean, how can I say no to my tan? It NEEDS me!

Then the peer pressure started. And although I was able to make it through high school largely unharmed by peer pressure, I find myself powerless over it now. Somehow I ended up standing in the water with a life jacket and goggles on. Then before I knew it was putting on flippers, all the while saying, "Oh...so...yeah...I don't think I'm going to do this."

It was probably at this point that I saw the three year old kid next to me, wearing water wings, kneeling on top of a boogie board, with his parents on either side of him. Then I took inventory of myself: Life jacket. Boogie Board. LL and BS on either side of me.

Great, I'm the equivalent of a three year old.
But if that kid could do it, then I could too.

I waded out further into the water and went for it. Never mind that I was floating along in a life jacket AND on a boogie board. Or the fact that I had a death grip on both LL and BS. What matters was that I was in the ocean, with my feet off the ground and my head in the water.

Now, if I'm being honest, I wasn't super impressed in general with the party under the sea. That is until I saw Frank. Frank the sea turtle. He was massive and oh, so adorable. And I could just tell he was wise. We kept losing track of him but at one point we couldn't keep from heading straight for him and swam right over the top of him. I was so nervous and loved it at the same time. He came up for air and stuck his cute little face out of the water.

Oh, that Frank. He might be the highlight of the trip so far.

This photo is proof that it happened. Notice how Brooke's body is slightly more submerged than mine. NBD.

I'm pretty proud of myself. PB teased that just getting in the water was my equivalent of bungee jumping. So, maybe that's true. But now I can say I bungee jumped.

Conversation of the Day

Discussing snorkeling this morning.

PB: With your life jacket the total was $105.
Me: So, no one else got a life jacket then?
[Silence.]
[Eruption of laughter.]
LL: Well, I brought my water wings so I'm going to pass on the life jacket.


I love myself and I hate myself.

Maui: Two & Three.

Day Two was a success.
I accomplished everything on my agenda, which is the brilliance of setting small, attainable goals. I felt like a champion.

Shave Ice. Too huge. No ice cream. I'll give it a 7.

The Professor bought a coconut from the side of the road. I drank what was inside. It was not good. [You should see the photo that came after this one.]

The clouds at Big Beach were testing my patience, but we were still able to make it work. I followed The Professor's strict tanning plan and got a decent amount of sun.

And as a bonus for the day, our car got nailed by a golf ball as we drove past Wailea golf course. We pulled over, Patrick got out and said words, I got nervous and also laughed, and then I took this picture in super stealth mode. At this moment the golf man is saying, "The last thing I expected was to hit a rock!".

Day Three. My birthday.
I spent the day at the beach and made some great progress on my tan. [I'm sure it's clear by now what my priority is for this trip. TAN. I should be on Jersey shore.] I hate to admit it, but I was a little weak. After 2.5 hours I was longing for some shade. However, without the clouds we had the day before those 2.5 hours were enough to do some good work.

That evening we met up with Chelsea for dinner. Lucky for me, Tuesday was her day to work on Maui this week.

We ate food, we sang-along to some Billy Joel, we ate frozen yogurt and laughed a lot. What more can a girl ask for on her birthday?

We got back to the condo and things felt crazy. It felt like it was 2am, but it was only 9:00. [Side note: This trip is like vacationing with with elderly. We get tired around 10pm and wake up at 7am. I was the last one awake last night at 11:30pm.] I was attacked by Brooke who would not stop singing a really creepy Happy Birthday song, made a wish and blew out some candles, had a run-in with a gecko in our living room and was asleep before midnight.

When I said Brooke attacked me, I meant it. Every time I tried to move she squeezed me tighter. Girl is strong.

Brooke: "Take my picture!"
Stephanie: "Who brought this girl?"
Eli: "I'm a Ken Doll."

I'm completely in love with this photo. Patrick was singing some sweet, sweet harmonies and I'm clearly impressed with his range.

All in all, Maui is good. Real good.

Maui.

I think I could become a morning person if this was what I had to look forward to every morning. This is the view from our back porch.

Day One was successful in terms of fearing for my life, but only semi-successful in terms of my tan. But I have high hopes for today. The Professor is REALLY good at tanning and I have a feeling his system is going to work well for me.

Also on today's agenda:

• Shaved Ice
• Buy a coconut on the side of the road and drink whatever we find inside

 What can I say? I dream big, folks.

thoughts and feelings about thoughts and feelings.

I can't sleep.
It's nearly 4 am and I'm so tired.

But I have a lot of thoughts that are keeping me awake.

Tonight my birthday was celebrated. Without warning. And I loved it.
[More to come on that.]

But then I came home and found a box with my name on it. Inside the box was a stack of cards with so many thoughts and feelings written on them. Thoughts and feelings from people I know and love.

Thoughts and feelings from them, about me.

And then I just felt a lot of things.
It's possible that there were a few tears shed.
And that I smiled.
And re-read them all again.

You see, it was absolutely perfect.

Let me back up. In the words of Jill, "I'm in a weird place right now". Truthfully, the past two weeks have been the most difficult I've experienced in a while. And it's been an especially hard five days. At the risk of getting too personal, I've felt very alone. It happens sometimes.

So, after two weeks of crazy, to read all of those nice things and to see the effort that was put into something on my behalf, my heart feels overwhelmed.

And all I can say is thank you to anyone and everyone that had any part in it.
Just, thanks.

Confession #2456

I fell asleep in the middle of writing that post last night. When I woke up all I wanted to do was go back to sleep (I love sleep so much) and I just hit the publish button without any editing.

So, if it feels crazy that's why.
And welcome to my world right now. Everything feels crazy at the moment.

Nice to Meet You, I'm Naked Under Here.

Guys, I'm so fancy. Today I ate lunch at the Four Seasons and went to the spa after work.

But really. I'm the last person who should be eating lunch at the Four Seasons. Allow me to share with you a few reasons why:
1. I cuffed my jeans on the walk over so they wouldn't get soaked. I left them that way all during lunch.
2. I refused to check my coat.
3. I ordered a Diet Coke. Nothing says fancy like two DC refills.
4. I never wanted to stop eating bread. I did. But I didn't want to.
5. I ordered spaghetti bolognese. SPAGHETTI.
6. I had zero desire to twirl it on my spoon. Again, I did. But I didn't want to.

That was all just a tangent. Fun, right?

What I really want to talk about is the massage I got after work. I've mentioned it before, but one of the perks of my job is getting free stuff: meals, Snuggies, mani/pedis, BYU hats, massages, etc. But let's think for a minute about what getting a massage entails.
Getting naked.
Sitting in robes.
Getting naked and sitting in a robe with co-workers.

In this particular situation this evening, my co-worker bailed so it was just me and the sales rep. Not awesome, but not horrible. However, I had never actually met this woman in the non-virtual world so not only were we getting naked and sitting in robes together, but we were also shaking hands and saying "Nice to meet you" while we were doing it.

Perfectly awkward.

Ghost of Careers Future

Today I sat through what is probably the worst sales presentation I’ve ever seen. Painful is the only word I can use to describe it. After it ended (thankfully 30 minutes early) I started walking with a co-worker back to our desks in silence when he finally leaned over and whispered, “That’s the worst presentation I’ve been to in a long time.”

To which I replied, “You just experienced what it would be like if I was in sales.”

But, you see, that’s why I’m not in sales.

Sooo…two points for me for recognizing my strengths and weaknesses.

Advice

In response to yesterday's pep talk post, I received this ecard with a little advice for next time.

And this is why I love my people.

Pep Talk

I was nearing the point of tears at work today and received the best pep talk ever.

Just remember that [name removed to protect the innocent] crapped her pants on the bus and that you didn't.
Which makes you a winner.
Now get those sweaty eyeballs under control and give Mickey the biggest 3 finger* high five.


*Mickey has four fingers (including his thumb). Oh, the things I now know.

Conversation of the Day

Me: Sometimes I have to buy DVDs because they're $5 and that's pretty much free and maybe I'll watch them at some point in the future.
AB: Maybe watch them in the future?
Me: Yeah, maybe I'll have kids that will....
AB: You won't.
...
Me: That's the worst possible thing you could have ever said to me.


For the record he meant that my kids wouldn't want to watch them, but it's still a gem of a conversation.

Scootsie

Well, Summer decided to show up in Seattle again. And it's HOT. I know 92 degrees doesn't seem very hot to some of you, like my sister who lives in Arizona where it's supposed to be 104 degrees tomorrow, but 92 degrees and (what seems like) not a single house in the city with air conditioning makes for a slightly uncomfortable time.

Regardless of how uncomfortable it is, you have to make the most of the sunny days to stock up for the inevitable hibernation of the sun. If you're looking for any ideas, might I suggest this one?

Yes, those are scooters. Scootsies, as I lovingly called them.
(Yes, that is a photo of a photo*.)

And yes, we rode those scootsies around Bainbridge Island.
It was so. much. fun.
So much.

I won't lie. I was nervous. That's just how I roll.

On the ferry over to the island my nervousness was at a 6. Maybe a 7.

Then we got there. And I saw the scootsies. And I put on that helmet (as if I needed my head to look any bigger) and tried to look like it was nbd, but I was at about a 9.4 on the nervous scale.

In the spirit of not letting myself scare myself out of doing things I want to do, I just got on my scootsie and went for it. I'm so glad I did, because everything about it was wonderful.

Some highlights:
The island was beautiful. We rode like the wind for nearly 3 hours. I felt like I was on Dumb & Dumber. I didn't crash. Beautiful view of the city. So much water! Hopping on weird logs sticking of the water. An abandoned, graffiti'd mill of some sort where we met a nice graffiti artist doing his thing. Walking out into the water that was so cold my feet went numb. Adam and Cassie stripping down to the least amount of clothing they could (while remaining appropriate) and jumping into the water. Adam's attire for the remainder of the ride. So many trees. Quiet back roads. This boat.

And did I mention that I didn't crash? Bonus.

So, Scootsie, I had a really great day. We should do this again sometime. Call me.


PS:
Cassie has never been happier.
Adam looks like a cop.

*We documented with much better photos, I just don't have them. Yet.

Something is wrong with this picture.

Monday vs. Friday.

Welcome to Seattle.

Just Because.

We have a chalkboard door.
My roommate draws chick robots.
nbd.

"Can you ever just be whelmed?"

It is my opinion that being overwhelmed comes in at least two forms.


1. Knowing clearly how to do all that is asked of you, but just having too many things piled up at once to get it all done.
2. Not having as many individual tasks, but not knowing, with any sort of certainty, how to do any of them.


Which is worse?