The New Kid

Did you know that in addition to having a new house, I have a new roommate as well? I do. Today's fun quotes and conversations are brought you by her, The New Kid.

#1: Comment made after finishing dinner.
TNK: You know a restaurant is good when everyone in it is fat. [We were right there with them.]


#2: While lounging around the upstairs living room, discussing decorating plans.

TNK: Where's that picture of Jesus going to go?
Me: I was thinking probably above the mantle.
[Silence.]
Me: I'm kidding.
TNK: How do you know that's even really Jesus?
Me: Well, it's not a photograph...

UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to include this one originally.
TNK: We could have an animal party. I could dress up as rabbit and you could be a...duck.
Me: Listen, just because my last name is Howard doesn't mean I have to be a duck.

I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from. I'm looking forward to it.

The Bus

When I moved to Seattle I knew I was going to have to start taking the bus. The thought brought on flashbacks of living in Provo and the nine months, post-graduation but pre-real job/car purchase, of busing to the PTC every day.

After starting my new job in Seattle it took me a full month to start taking the bus. I wasn't sure if the bus was different here or where my stop was and Chats McGee didn't help matters when he told me it was very confusing to know whether or not to pay when you got on or when you got off.

I was in a new city, at a new job and it was just a little too much for me.

So in true Stephanie style, I took the easy way out. I drove to work every day and paid $12 every day to park. One month and $240 later, I decided it was time for the bus. As it turns out, the bus stop was a block from my house, I flashed my badge when I got on in the morning and in the evening I didn't have to show it until I was getting off. Simple.

Money saved. Naps taken. Blogging material generated. And [insert something about the environment here]. The bus is good.

Well, here I am again in a bit of the same situation. I'm not in a new city, but I am in a new location within the city. And I've been avoiding the bus because I'm nervous. I feel like taking a new bus route is kind of like being the new kid at school. Everyone knows I'm not supposed to be there.

In my defense, last week was out of the ordinary and I was going to work early and staying late so taking the bus wouldn't have been ideal. And Monday I had a big presentation at 9am. I'm smart enough to know that testing out a new bus on a 9am presentation day is not wise.

But it's Tuesday. And I no longer have an excuse.

Tonight I researched routes and there is a 50/50 chance I'll actually take the bus tomorrow.

Want to place any bets?

Second Job

I just got a call from “Courtney”, from a number in Murray, Utah, asking me if I could come in to work from 4:45-9:30 tonight.

Huh. I mean, I probably could, but I’m going to need a ride.

Conversation of the Day

This post is dedicated to the living, breathing, daily trial of my patience.

Person A: Jillian Michaels has over 100,000 Twitter followers.
Person B: ShitMyDadSays has over 2 million* followers.
Me: That is completely irrelevant to this conversation.

And it took everything I had to leave it at that.

*Totally untrue. It's 1.2MM.

She's Just a Hologram

Take special note of the sweet moves at 0:08.

A few things:
1. Cayamo was a good time. A real good time.
2. iPhones really are magic.
3. Lindsay was not amused. Either that or she was in the zone.

More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About My Ankles

Let's over-share, shall we? Perfect.

This is what I want to tell you: I have cankles. And not really even lowercase cankles, but more like CANKLES! All caps. With an exclamation point.

It all started on the boat.

You see, I can find the humor in having cankles now because it's not a permanent thing for me. I've actually, on occasion, taken pride in the fact that my ankles are appropriately sized. Here they are on the 4th of July.

I mean, if that's not an appropriately sized ankle, then I don't know what is. And now that I've said that I'm sure the canks will be here to stay. Great.

I think I noticed the cankle after the day in Belize, which would also be the day I noticed the heat rash on my legs. DOUBLE WHAMMY. It started out as just the Left Guy.

That heat rash + cankle combo is super sexy, no?

But there was nothing I could do, really. I was standing around at shows all night, every night. Perhaps drinking more Diet Pepsi than water didn't help, but that's a minor detail. Left Guy was just another roomie in our teeny, tiny cabin and Right Guy came and went. Plus, it made for some good laughs when we checked in on the status of the canks every night.

The thing is, I got off the boat on Friday and here it is Tuesday night and I'm hopped up on Benadryl and have my feet propped up on three pillows as I type this.

I have CANKLES! Still. And possibly worse than when I was on the boat.

I'm sure six hours at Disneyworld + six hours standing at a concert immediately after + plus a night of zero sleep + nine hours in an airplane + unloading a moving truck + two nights of unpacking boxes hasn't helped, but that doesn't change the fact that you can't tell where my calf stops and my foot begins.

Yesterday at work I noticed that every time I got out of my chair my feet felt like they were being pinched. By lunch I realized that the tops of my feet were puffed up over the top of my shoes. When I took my shoe off, there was a dent in my foot.

Guys, I wish I was kidding right now.

Clearly this needed to be shared. So, after a meeting I, with no other explanation, lifted up my pantleg and showed my co-workers my foot. This was the immediate response I got:

OH MY GOSH, YOU SPRAINED YOUR ANKLE!

Nope. Not a sprain. Just a gold star cankle, my friend. And when I lifted my other pantleg and they saw that Right Guy was nearly as big? Minds. Blown.

While I always love anything I can get a good story out of, I'm definitely over the CANKLES! Keep your fingers crossed that my ankle bones reappear tomorrow.

Tomorrow

Those emails are waiting for me in my Inbox. Actually, a surprisingly low number.

That Was Not a Waste of Time

• I got on a ship.
• I went to Belize.
• I went to Mexico.
• I heard A LOT of music. A lot.
• I drank an undisclosed amount of Diet Pepsi*.
• I ate a few** soft serve ice cream cones.
• I slept on a top bunk.
• I laughed with friends. The ones I came with and the ones I reunited with on the boat.
• I let go of some things weighing on my mind (and heart) into the ocean. I just had a little moment with nature.
• I didn't text, email, Twitter, Facebook, blog, or make a phone call. I felt free.
• I danced.  
• I saw Brandi Carlile. And Gregory Alan Isakov. Singing together. My heart rejoiced.
• I sunburned my eyelids. And my face, chest and shoulders. As it turns out you can sweat off sunscreen.
• I realized I like country music. But not, COUNTRY country music. We'll call it "hipster country" to make ourselves feel better.
• I read only four pages of my book. 
• I ate food at Midnight, every night.
• I sang.
• I developed a cankle. Just one. (The left one.) 
• And I loved every minute of it.

Like last year, I'm overwhelmed at the thought of recapping this vacation.
Unlike last year, I will actually recap properly at some point. Soon. But it's late and I'm tired and I have to wake up early for Disney World tomorrow.

So, I will leave you with a picture (or two) to sum it all up. It was a toss up between these two.

 Em, me, Linds, KJ in Belize.

Diet Coke Light + "The Point" in Costa Maya, Mexico. 

(Or what we lovingly refer to as "Mexi-faux".)

*There was no Diet Coke on board.
**Quite possibly three per day. Don't judge.

Why

As I was trying to work last night I got a little distracted, which is not uncommon, thinking about why (?!?) my cat continues to eat all of my clothing. No, seriously. WHY? I put a shirt on yesterday and half of the sleeve right on my wrist was eaten.

Maybe I wore it anyway, maybe I didn't. Maybe I did. Or didn't. But I did.

So I decided to take my question to the web of information. And as I started to type in my question I got distracted again (Are you seeing a pattern?) and only got one word in. When I regained focus and looked back at my screen the predictive search results caught my eye.

I mean, they're just brilliant.

Do I even need to tell you which are my favorites?

In the end, I got distracted with this list above and never did find out why my cat eats clothes. Maybe next time.

Encouraging Words

So, maybe I'm going on vacation in 2.5 days and also moving while I'm out of the country (figure that one out) and things at work are insanely busy.

I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Sidenote: I think I had stress induced appendicitis this morning. Don't worry, I healed myself without even needing surgery. It was a Wednesday miracle! And, for being such an awesome healer and surviving a huge client presentation, I rewarded myself with a Diet Coke (which I had sworn off earlier in the day due to the nausea and sharp pains in my abdomen...AKA: appendicitis).

I am trying to use the power of positive thinking today. The sun in shining in Seattle in February so things have to work out, right? RIGHT?!

I was talking with a co-worker about all of our upcoming deadlines (But really mostly mine becuase it's all about me.) and the following conversation happened.

Me: I mean, it'll all get done somehow. Right?
CW: Nah. It won't. [He stands up to start walking out of the room.] Things will slip through the cracks.
Me: ...Oh, okay. Perfect.
CW: But let's just hope the stuff that slips through is all the trivial nonsense that no one cares about anyway. [And he's out the door.]

Moral of the Story: I need to learn how to use magic to get everything done in time.

No big deal. I'm already on it.

Comfort Level

Lately I've been letting my real self cross over into my work self. Some might think that's a good thing. To just be yourself, no matter what. But if you're me (read: a little on the wack-tastic side of things) you might want to tone it down for the workplace and maintain some level of professionalism.

A few examples of the blurred lines between Real Me and Work Me:

#1: Walking into a meeting and announcing my presence with a big, "Heeeeyyyy". You know the voice.
#2: Sitting in a working session with most of my team and, while everyone is working in silence, blurting out, "Hey guys, guess what...."
#3: In a team meeting as we're about to take a vote on whether or not to have a happy hour this week, I put my head down on the table and yell, "I'm ready!".
#4: Using the phrase "blowing my mind". Especially in reference to some campaign results.

Guaranteed my team thinks I'm strange. But deep down, I think they enjoy it.

At least that's what I'll keep telling myself.

Conversation of the Day

An interaction with the co-worker that sits directly across from me. He's not a member of my team but is still awesome enough to make fun of me.

B: It’s SO hot in here. And it’s hotter when you stand up.
S: Well, heat rises.
B: Thanks, Stephanie..."Media Planner & Science Whiz".

I've already changed my email signature. I mean, people need to know who they're dealing with.

It Finally Happened

I've wanted an iPhone for nearly two years. When my contract was up a year ago I managed to talk myself out of getting one with logical reasons like not being able justify doubling my monthly bill, not having mobile to mobile with my family, crappy AT&T service, etc.  and in the end I just renewed the plan I had. I've pretty much been regretting it ever since.

Over the course of the last year I've asked nearly everyone I know, multiple times each, whether or not I should just make the switch. Somehow I've surrounded myself with practical people and everyone always told me not to.  

And I do what I'm told.

But deep down I was just waiting for that one person to tell me to do it. When I found that person, and she found at least three other people to support her position, it was pretty much inevitable.

I brought this guy home two days later. Again, I do what I'm told.

I'm not going to lie, I thought I was going to fall in love immediately. But after a few days it hadn't happpened. And after a week, I was still lukewarm.

Then this morning my mind was blown.

You see, Brandi Carlile (I may have mentioned her once or twice...or 15 bajillion times ) released a new EP today and, although I knew it was being released close to Valentine's Day, I somehow had NO IDEA that day would be today. When I got an email from a friend at 9:00 am informing me of the fact that she was downloading it right at that moment, my head nearly exploded with the thought of waiting until I got home from work to listen to it. I had to find a way.

And then it came to me. I could download it directly to my phone....right? I mean, I was sure that magic phones could certainly download music.

They can. I did. And my phone looked like this all day today.

I'm on board.

A Run-On Sentence

Sometimes you meet someone that has insight into the questions that have been driving you crazy for eight months and, not only do they know some of the answers, but they share them with you and then you realize that maybe you didn’t actually want to know because, even though you were right all along and now feel validated, it still doesn’t change the outcome.

Sometimes life is funny.

Conversation of the Day

Imagine a full hour of conversations like this one.

Me: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I told you that party tomorrow was a costume party?
SU: Maybe you should show up as a derby girl.
Me: Or if I told you to show up as a skanky bunny. If you showed up in bunny ears and fishnets I would pee my pants.
SU: Are you quoting Legally Blonde right now?
Me: I wasn't. But are you telling me that I didn't just make that up and I'm really stealing it from a memory of a movie?
SU: You for sure did not make it up. That really happened.
Me: Except it didn't, because movies aren't real life.


I walk away thinking, We're kind of funny.
You walk away thinking, I want to poke my eyes out.

On the bus today...

...I saw a woman nearly get accosted for her cigarette. Ok, so it wasn't on the bus. But it was on the way to the bus, so I'm counting it. Remember how I make the rules around here?

Right.

I was standing on the corner, waiting for the light to turn green. I had passed by a man who I thought was going to ask me for money, but he just stared at me without saying anything as I passed by. Soon after I stopped on the corner a woman came up next to me. I continued to mind my own business, maybe pretending other people didn't exist (as usual) when the man I had passed was suddenly standing in front of me.

He said something to the woman that I missed because my headphones were in, but his gaze was in the direction of her hand at her side. She may have said something back to him (again, the headphones) and then he looked me up and down, but still said nothing.

Before I knew it he was making a move towards her, reaching out for her right hand. I quickly removed my headphones (since I thought it was getting to a point where I couldn't pretend these people didn't exist) as she yelled out, "Don't get aggressive. I will call the police!". He stopped and continued to stare. I looked over to see what he wanted so badly and saw that she was holding a cigarette.

We all stood there awkwardly for a moment and then the light turned green and we all went our separate ways.

I guess he could tell smoking wasn't my thing.

Conversation of the Day

I received a recommendation for an eye doctor from a co-worker and I made an appointment for this morning. This co-worker is a "she" and while that info isn't totally important, I like to think it enahnaces the story.

The following takes place between 10am and 11am. (Jack Bauer. Anyone? No? Ok.)

CW: How did your eye appointment go?
Me: It was good!
CW: Did you have the hot, young doctor?
Me: Hot doctor? I had the woman.
CW: I know…
Me: Oh…then yeah. I guess I did.

It's Over.

My bus boyfriend, Cute-Bus-Boy-Who-Reads, has a new girlfriend.

I guess this means we're broken up.

Hoarder

We've been packing up the house for the big move. And when I say "we" I mean "Lindsay" because I have yet to get started. I got an IM from Lindsay this afternoon, apparently she had just gone through some boxes in the laundry room.

L: Dude, you win the bag award.
S: What does that even mean? Oh...are you cleaning out that room??
L: I'm packing the laundry room and there are 3 plastic bins full of bags.

Oopsy daisy.

When I got home she made me go through the plastic bins and pick which bags I wanted to get rid of. I have no idea how I accumulated SO MANY bags: computer bags, purses, duffle bags, etc. And every time I went to throw one away I would say something like, "Oh, but this was the messenger bag I used in college. I took it to school every day!" And Lindsay replied with, "Yeah, yeah. They all have a story. Just get rid of them." I hope someone at Goodwill enjoys the adorable straw bag I bought in Hawaii...

There was one bag we found that was full of clothes. Old t-shirts to be exact. Like perhaps my red SUPERFAN shirt from high school with the cartoonish picture of the broncho (yes, with an "h") with steam coming out of its nose.

I was, in fact, a super fan.

And then we discovered this beauty. The jumbo powder puff jersery. My favorite number is two.

Talk about a forgotten gem! There were even matching sweats that said "Class of 2000" down the leg. GEMS!

Believe me, Lindsay tried to shame me into getting rid of the jersey/sweats combo, but I was not having it.

Ok, fine. I'm a hoarder.

Atomic

Tonight I found myself at game night. Despite a house full of people, I also found myself sitting in a room with only one other person listening to fart noises produced by an iPhone app.

And laughing my head off.

What did you do tonight?