Converted to Quiznos

I'm normally not a Quiznos fan, but today I may have been converted.

First of all, a random stranger came up to me in line and handed me a coupon for free chips and a drink with the purchase of a regular sub. Deal.

Then I decided to "branch out" and went for a Classic Club on wheat, Sun Chips and a Diet Coke with a shot of DP. Brilliant choice! The sandwich was so delicious. I didn't regret any of my decisions one bit.

Can we talk for a minute about the lady who is usually working the register at the Quiznos on 35th? Could she be any less friendly? I'd like to see her try because I don't think it's possible. You had better know exactly what you ordered, whether you're staying or going, and have your preferred payment method ready or she may hurt you.

Quiznos better believe that I'll be back for more. Diva cashier and all.

Is that salt or something?

Annie and I successfully made it to Vegas and back!

The roads weren't "bad" on the way down, they just weren't clear. There was slush all over until about Cedar City and my black car got so dirty it became white. After we arrived my cousin looked out the window at my car and said, "Uh, did you get a little salt on your car?" Yes, yes I did.

It was 35 degrees in Vegas. Can you believe that? Apparently the locals in Henderson didn't know what to do with the cold temps and shut down every car wash in the city. Everyone else was driving around in their shiny, freshly waxed cars and mine looked like I drove through the Great Salt Lake on my way down. I was embarrassed and was determined to find a car wash.

After nearly an hour of driving around Henderson in desperation I was ready to resign myself to a dirty car for the rest of the trip, when out of the corner of my eye I saw some cars being towel dried. I had struck gold on the corner of Serene and Eastern! I made my way to the line of cars, paid my $6 and waited. When it was my turn to pull up one of the gentlemen doing the pre-wash knocked on my window.

PWG: Why does your car look like this?
Me: Well, I just drove down from Utah and it was kind of snowy.
PWG: So, is that salt or something?
Me: Yup. And lot's of it.
PWG: Everyone that comes from Utah has a car that looks like this!
Me: It's pretty snowy there...
PWG: I'm glad you made it here safe.

As he was rinsing the car down I heard the guy on the other side of me ask what was up with my car and my new friend (PWG) explained that I had just come down from Utah. I laughed to myself.

The world is right again and my car is still clean.

Vegas Baby!

I just finished packing for my (essentially) two day trip to Vegas. I must admit that I'm pretty nervous about the drive because of the winter weather we've been having, but I think we'll be fine.

I can only almost accidentally kill a family member (or two...or three...or four) once, right? Isn't that a rule or something?

So Descriptive

I just tried to change my font size in a post for the first time and had to laugh at blogger's options.

-Huge
-Large
-Normal Size
-Small
-Tiny

I love it.

Single...And Painfully Aware

I hate Valentine's Day.

Last night I walked into the store and all things Valentine were staring right at me. Pink and red hearts, gummy cinnamon lips, giant Hershey kisses--an entire aisle devoted to the day that makes me feel like crap every year.

I haven't had a date on Valentine's Day since high school. The closest I've come since then was a few years ago. One of my good friends, who I happened to have a giant crush on, decided that he had a crush on my roommate. Always awesome. He made "plans" with her to watch a movie at our place on V-Day. Turns out she didn't think as much of those plans as he would've hoped and got back together with her ex-boyfriend the night before the big day. He ended up watching a movie with me--by default. (To give myself a little credit, we did end up dating a month later.)

Needless to say, if that's the closest I've come to a date on Valentines' Day since high school, you can see why I hate the holiday. I'm wondering if I just embrace February 14th if the day will do less harm.

Explanation

Can anyone explain to me why I hate ALL beans (green, baked, refried...all) but I love, even crave, edamame? Soy beans, really? Of all the beans out there, I would never have guessed that I would like the soy variety.

Any ideas?

Just My Luck

Yesterday I got a massage. A massage that I've been wanting to get for months, but it wasn't as relaxing as I would've hoped.

As Lindsay and I were waiting in the "Quiet Room" I realized I hadn't made the appointment and didn't know if my massage therapist would be a man or woman. I wasn't feeling too comfortable with the idea of some random man rubbing all over me, but Lindsay took the stance of "it's their job" and said she would trade me if mine ended up being a guy. Not a minute later, my name was called.

Let me introduce you to Dennis. Dennis is roughly 5'8" and 40 years old. He has a "healthy" belly and is balding, but that hasn't stopped him from growing out his greasy curly hair, parting it on the side and slicking it to his head. Not to mention his glasses cover 1/3 of his face.

Too shocked to know what else to do, I slowly got up from my chair and followed Dennis down the hallway. I must say, it wasn't as bad I thought it would be, even with all of the heavy breathing and statements like "relax your head like it's an ice cube melting on a hot summer day".

I'm pretty sure Dennis went into massage therapy because it was the only way he was ever see a woman naked. I'm just sayin'...

Snow

Every year I trick myself into thinking that once Christmas is over, winter is over. When, in reality, winter is closer to beginning than ending. I grew up in Michigan. I'm used to snow. I like the cold. But after living in Utah for 6 years (where it will snow and melt in the same day), I forgot what a good old fashioned snow storm was like. I was reminded today. Snow. And lots of it.

On my way to the airport this afternoon I was being fairly cautious. Driving fast enough not to be the driver that everyone passes and thinks, "Learn how to drive in the snow. You live in Utah!". But slow enough to be able to stop safely. The Lincoln Continental behind me on the other hand....not so much.

The light turned yellow, I slowed down and stopped at the light. No slipping, no sliding. I looked into my rearview mirror just in time to see the car behind me turn sideways and slide directly at me. My heart started to race. There was nothing I could do to get out of the way--I was stopped at a light. Just as I was bracing myself for the impact, the car stopped. Too close of a call. I was nervous the rest of the way home.

Oh, and the snow ruined my hair. The white stuff was not my friend today.

Helpful Hints

A few tips for the workplace...

1. If you don't write it down the first time I tell you, don't ask me again.
2. Don't ask me how to do your job. If I knew what you should do, I would have your same "title".
3. Don't have farting contests at work. It's not the time or the place.
4. Don't steal from your coworkers. How about just don't steal from anyone.
5. Don't talk about how "busy" you are when everyone knows you pretend to work all day.

Just a few pointers. Take 'em or leave 'em.

Coming to an End

The end of a year always makes me reminisce about the last 12 months of my life. On the surface, this past year appears to have been uneventful, but under the surface a lot has happened.

One experience that I've thought about often since it happened was in March. My Grandmother passed away and my four siblings and I set out on a cross-country drive for the funeral. We had been driving for a few hours when we stopped in Wyoming and I was voted the next drive. It was cold and dark and we had a long way ahead of us.

I had only been driving for 30 minutes when I felt the car start to sway. I tried to steady the wheel but it only got worse and soon we were swaying across both lanes. At 60 mph our car was spinning down I-80. As we were twirling 360 degrees counter-clockwise, sliding sideways, spinning 360 degrees clockwise and at one point backwards down the freeway, for what seemed like an eternity, my mind was surprisingly clear and I was doing all I could to regain control. With my sister, Julie, riding shotgun we had enough time to discuss what to do.

J: Take your foot off the brake!
S: My foot isn't ON the brake!

*Silence as we continued to spin."

J: Turn into it!
S: Turn into it? I am!

I don't know how it happened, but we were suddenly facing the right direction and I was pulling off to the shoulder. Shaking and now on the verge of tears, I put the car in park and took my hands off the wheel. Two of the five were not wearing seat belts and not one of us could figure out how I had managed to keep the car on the road. If we would have hit a dry patch there is no doubt the Ford Explorer would have flipped. My brother stepped out onto the freeway and discovered a layer of ice 1/4 inch thick.

We discussed it then on the side of the road and I've thought about it many times since then--it was nothing short of a miracle that we made it through without a scratch. We were protected and it reiterated to all of us that we are here for a reason and there are still things we need to accomplish in this life.

I'm grateful for what that experience taught me and for all of the experiences I've had this past year. I've learned so much, especially about myself, and can only hope for the same in 2007. Plus, Lindsay's crystal ball showed that I will get married this year.

Bring on 2007!!

Bum Holiday

Unless you like to drink, New Year's Eve isn't that exciting. I've been to my fair share of drunken New Year's parties, but this holiday has become just another day to me. This year, for example, I've chosen to not shower, sit on the couch watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy, eat popcorn and drink Diet Coke. It's brilliant.

Happy New Year!

Good Times

A few of my favorite comments from the weekend...

1. So, how's your Aspen? (A question I was asked by my uncle in church.)
2. So...what's our position on farting?
3. That wreath is official.
4. A: I don't like to say the word 'pianist' because it sounds like I'm saying 'penis'.
B: So you can't say 'pianist' because it sounds like 'penis', but you can say 'penis'?
5. Get out of the store and put some pants on!

Aaahh...Christmas with the Howard family.

Christmas Eve Itinerary

On the docket for today:

-Church with the Heagany's
-Food preparation for dinner tonight
-Shower
-Set up camp for the family sleepover
-Geoff & LaNae's for dinner
-Games, chatting, laughing,
-Back to my house for the sleepover
-Santa comes!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!

It's a Christmas miracle!

Many, many thanks to everyone who brought a beloved iPod back into my life! (And everyone who sits near me at work thanks you also, because now I'll stop complaining about it getting stolen...maybe.) I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am. I feel very blessed to have people in my life who would do something like this.

You, whoever you are, have definitely made my Christmas and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

On the verge...

...of a nervous breakdown.

Last night I left work (rather late--my first mistake) and headed to Wal-Mart in WVC. (Second mistake--Wal-Mart, a week before Christmas, in the ghetto.) The place was packed and crawling with people walking too slow, taking up the whole aisle and screaming children. To make matters worse, I could not, for the life of me, decide what to buy for my co-workers. Or even which co-workers I wanted to buy something for.

After calling my mom and asking for her advice (yes, it got to that point) I had made a decision and went off in search of something to put this "gift" in. Nothing. Could not find a single container to meet my needs.

Frustrated, I fought my way to the electronics section of the store. I needed to find a CD. A CD that can only be purchased at Wal-Mart because they sell edited music. After searching for the CD and having a creepy man hovering behind me, staring at me with a nasty-toothed grin, I gave up.

By this point my head hurt and I was starting to get shaky because I hadn't eaten since lunch (third mistake) and I'd almost given up trying to find anything. But I decided to head over to the food section and finish what I originally came there to do (get co-workers Christmas gifts if you've forgotten).

I walked up and down the aisles in no particular order (fourth mistake) collecting bits and pieces of what I needed. I could not find peanuts. No peanuts anywhere. I called my mom--again--and asked where peanuts are located in Wal-Mart. She pointed me in the right direction (from our living room in Michigan) and I added them to the basket.

Last on my list was butterscotch chips. Easy. They're with all of the baking stuff and I'd probably walked down that aisle three times by then. I made my way to the baking aisle (not before telling a young screaming girl to shut up as I walked past) and walked right to the spot where they should be. No butterscotch chips. Not a bag to be found.

Standing there in the baking aisle of Wal-Mart, my eyes started to well up with tears. I contemplated scrapping the whole deal and leaving my entire cart right there where the butterscotch chips were supposed to be and giving my co-workers and note that said, "I would've made you tasty holiday treats but Wal-Mart didn't have any f'ing butterscotch chips. Merry Christmas!" Instead, I pulled myself together, walked to the check out and waited (not-so-patiently) in line.

When did I get so emotionally unstable? And, more importantly, what kind of Wal-Mart runs out of butterscotch chips?

All Aboard!

I just wanted everyone to know that I'm back on the Jim and Pam train! Karen is nice, but she's just the rebound. Jim still loves Pam!

All At Once

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

-The Fray

Is it on me?

Do you ever walk into a really stinky place, possibly any/every bathroom at DM, and wonder if the stink will be on you when you leave?

I usually wonder and I'm here to tell you that stink can get on you.

There's a man from my home town that is known (at least in my family) for not having the best body odor. I went home for a visit one summer (the Michigan heat and humidity do nothing for his BO problem) and saw him on Sunday. As usual he wanted a hug, so I opted for the quick side hug. I'm not very tall and the top of my shoulder was just the right height to fit snug against his armpit.

We chatted for a bit and after I walked away I began catching wiffs of an unpleasant smell. I turned my head to the right and sniffed my shoulder. Whoa! I walked over to my brother and asked him to smell my shoulder (you might think he would've asked why, but in my family asking someone to "smell this" isn't uncommon).

It was confirmed. His stink was on me. For the 2 seconds that my shoulder was snug in his armpit, the stink was transferred. Sick.

Moral of the story: beware of stinky places, whether it be bathrooms or armpits. The stink can get on you and, I can tell you from experience, it's not pretty.

Thief on the Loose

I know where I left my iPod and I know where it is no longer. It has officially been stolen off of my desk at work.

I was in one meeting or another from 11-2:30 today so if someone was going to steal from me, today was the perfect day. Audrey saw the iPod on my desk at around 1:45 and I noticed it was missing around 2:40. For those of you who are not good with math, that's a 55 minute time frame. If only I hadn't gone to McKinsie's meeting.

Gossip around here spreads like wildfire and I hope the thief has heard someone talking about it and feels like a jackass. That still doesn't get me my iPod back, but makes me feel a little better.

My favorite part of this fiasco is the response I received from the Director of HR...
"Thank you for letting me know. I will ask reception to let me know if anyone turns one in."

To which I replied, "I don't think anyone is going to turn it in to reception because it's not lost--it's stolen."

I haven't heard back from her. Shocker. Toby would not have given such a crappy response.

Either way, it's gone and I'm sad about it.

Oh, and I hate people who steal.

Bad Day

I sometimes wonder what would happen if I just stopped coming to work.

Could I really muster up the guts to "pull a Leo" and just not come back? Would Kirk and Carlee show up at my house to make sure I hadn't done anything drastic like Kim and Mark did to Leo? Hopping on a plane to San Diego and living at a YMCA isn't sounding too bad right about now.

Maybe I should go the route of Peter Gibbons from Office Space.

Peter Gibbons: I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
PG: Yeah.
J: Won't you get fired?
PG: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
J: So you're gonna quit?
PG: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.

Then when I go to my meeting with the Bobs' (which is likely to happen here at DM) I could lay it all out on the table and get a promotion.

It's 8:00 pm and I'm still at work searching for 300 leads, one by one, in three different files. I want to poke my eyes out and I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.